"I happen to love the Melba toasts," he confessed, laughing at Holly's face when she realized that this seemed to make perfect sense to him.
"Well, next time I have a pile, I'll save them for you. This way if you're ever in some kind of toast emergency…" I offered.
"…I'll have some on standby. I feel good about this plan," he continued. Holly shook her head at both of us. I noticed the two girls that Jack had been talking to inside coming out to join us on the terrace. They approached from both sides as Holly winked at Jack and began pulling me into the house.
"I'll see you later, dear. Make sure you come and say goodbye to me before you leave," Holly said over her shoulder as we walked back across the slate tiles.
"Let me know when you're ready for that tryst," I shot over my shoulder, winking at the girls who looked a little stunned. I couldn't resist.
"You, me, Melba toasts." He grinned back at me.
"Since when do you invite groupies to your house?" I asked once we were inside.
"Groupies? Oh, those two? Sweetie, the blonde is an entertainment lawyer and the brunette is a PR exec. But Brit Boy over there turns them all into giggling idiots." She smiled knowingly as I looked back over my shoulder at the three of them on the terrace. Jack was standing between both of them as they jostled to get closer. He caught my eye and smiled that same sheepish grin.
Wow, really, a lawyer…those stories must be damn good.
About an hour later, with the party finally winding down, I was in the kitchen getting some crackers to begin sucking up the five dirty martinis I had sucked down. I was leaning on my elbows on the granite counter top, thinking about how my head was going to hurt tomorrow, when I heard someone come in.
"Hello, again," I heard a musical voice say.
I looked up with my eyes, not even bothering to push myself back up off the counter where I was now half-laying. It was Jack… and the Giggle Girls were nowhere in sight.
"Hello, yourself. Did you have a good time tonight?' I asked, before shoving a Saltine in my mouth.
"Oh, no. Crackers…that's never a good sign. Too much?" he asked.
"Maybe, if you consider three more than I usually have too much." I grimaced, remembering the last time I was hung over. I was really not looking forward to tomorrow.
"I find that the best cure for a hangover is to just keep drinking," he said, smirking, and walked towards the other side of the counter, placing his hands on either side of me.
"Yes, well that's because you're like seventeen and capable of shit like that," I said. "I, on the other hand, will wake up tomorrow feeling like something died in my mouth, with my eyes puffed up like cabbages," I said with a chuckle.
"Wow, that's a really descriptive picture. I'm almost tempted to stick around and see that." He laughed. "And I'm twenty-four, not seventeen, for future reference," he added. I arched my eyebrow at him.
Young pup. I used to be able to drink and dance all night, get one hour of sleep, and go to work the next day, still looking fabulous. Ah, to be young and foolish again.
You're still foolish…
I stretched my arms over my head and then back behind me, trying to work the kinks out. When I looked back at him, I realized that I had basically just thrust my chest in his face and he was letting his eyes linger.
"Are you looking at my boobies?" I asked, doing a little shimmy shake. He froze, and then burst out laughing.
"Yes, yes, I guess I am looking at your boobies. They're quite nice boobies," he managed to choke out between laughs.
"They are quite nice, that's true. And all mine. You probably don't get to touch a lot of real bona fide natural boobies here in L.A., but there's still a few of us rocking the real stuff." I laughed along with him.
"I also think you like men looking at your boobies. Why else did you put sparkles on them?" he stated, finally looking me in the eyes again, still chuckling.
"Sparkles, what are you talking about?" I looked down at the girls and noticed that I did have a few sparkles on my cleavage. "Oh yeah, I guess I did. I put on a little shimmer body lotion before I got dressed tonight."
"Wow, girls sure do weird stuff. Especially you American girls. So much shimmer and sparkle. Who told you tits were supposed to sparkle? Sorry, boobies," he corrected.
"You can say tits, although I prefer boobies. I also like Ta-Ta's," I said with a straight face.
"How about love pillows?" he countered.
"Breasticles?" I offered.
"Uhhh, how about Flap Jacks?" he asked, struggling not to laugh.
"Nice, but it doesn't hold a candle to sweater meat," I managed to get out before laughing so loud I sprayed Saltines all over the counter. He joined me and I actually had tears streaming down my face as we started wiping up my cracker spittle. Holly walked in at that moment, took one look at us and started shaking her head.
"Oh boy, what the hell is going on in here? Never mind. Jack, your ladies are looking for you. They are salivating all over the entry-way. It's time to take them back to your place. Grace, why are there cracker crumbs all over your cleavage?" she asked, staring at my Saltine encrusted chest.
We both started laughing again as I extended my hand.
"Jack, it was very nice to meet you. I hope next time I can contain myself a little more. Enjoy your threesome," I said with a wicked smile. This guy was great and I was excited to have maybe made a new friend. He took my hand gently, but enthusiastically.
"Grace, it has been interesting to say the least. And your sparkly boobies are beautiful. Enjoy your hangover." He shook my hand and laughed again as he left the kitchen, giving Holly a kiss on the cheek as she walked him out.
I watched him leave with his Blonde and his Brunette, thinking about how much fun this evening had turned out to be. Holly came back after showing the last of her guests to the door, took one look at the party fouls all over the place and said, "Clean this shit up in the morning?"
"Or the afternoon?" I asked, holding my head.
"Deal. Let's go to bed," she answered, locking up as I turned out the lights. We trudged upstairs, discussing the evening as we made our way down the hall towards our rooms.
"Holly, that was a great party. I'm really proud of you. You've done everything you set out to do and nothing has stopped you. You kind of rock." I smiled at her and gave her a hug at her door.
"Yeah, I have kicked some ass. Now go vomit, I know you want to," she said, pointing me towards my room.
"I really just do. 'Night, asshead," I shot back over my shoulder as I went to collapse.
"'Night, dillweed. Seriously, Grace. Five dirty martinis?" was the last thing I heard her say as I shut the door in her face and fell onto my bed.
Right before slipped into sleep I thought about my sparkly boobies and laughed a little to myself.
Chapter Three
The morning brought hellfire and brimstone…and that was just what I threw up. When I first opened my eyes, which took several minutes of prying through mascara goo, I knew that this day was possibly going to be the worst day of my life. I never, repeat
never
, have more than two cocktails. I simply cannot handle it anymore. I would love to pretend that I could still hang with the younglings, knocking back cocktail after cocktail and feel no pain, but that was no longer me. I felt the pain…oh how I felt the pain.