"But Mrs. Bailey wants a Georgian house—"
"Just an idea she has. Women don’t know what they want—"
"Mrs. Bailey does."
"Just some idea an out-of-date architect has put in her head. She drives a new car, doesn’t she? She wears the very latest styles—why should she live in an eighteenth century house? This house will be even later than this year’s model; it’s years in the future. She’ll be the talk of the town."
"Well—I’ll have to talk to her."
"Nothing of the sort. We’ll surprise her with it. Have another drink."
"Anyhow, we can’t do anything about it now. Mrs. Bailey and I are driving up to Bakersfield tomorrow. The company’s bringing in a couple of wells tomorrow."
"Nonsense. That’s just the opportunity we want. It will be a surprise for her when you get back. You can just write me a check right now, and your worries are over."
"I oughtn’t to do anything like this without consulting her. She won’t like it."
"Say, who wears the pants in your family anyhow?"
The check was signed about halfway down the second bottle.
Things are done fast in southern California. Ordinary houses there are usually built in a month’s time. Under Teal’s impassioned heckling the tesseract house climbed dizzily skyward in days rather than weeks, and its cross-shaped second story came jutting out at the four corners of the world. He had some trouble at first with the inspectors over those four projecting rooms but by using strong girders and folding money he had been able to convince them of the soundness of his engineering.
By arrangement, Teal drove up in front of the Bailey residence the morning after their return to town. He improvised on his two-tone horn. Bailey stuck his head out the front door. "Why don’t you use the bell?"
"Too slow," answered Teal cheerfully. "I’m a man of action. Is Mrs. Bailey ready? Ah, there you are, Mrs. Bailey! Welcome home, welcome home. Jump in, we’ve got a surprise for you!"
"You know Teal, my dear," Bailey put in uncomfortably.
Mrs. Bailey sniffed. "I know him. We’ll go in our own car, Homer."
"Certainly, my dear."
"Good idea," Teal agreed; " ’sgot more power than mine; we’ll get there faster. I’ll drive, I know he way." He took the keys from Bailey, slid into the driver’s seat, and had the engine started before Mrs. Bailey could rally her forces.
"Never have to worry about my driving," he assured Mrs. Bailey, turning his head as he did so, while he shot the powerful car down the avenue and swung onto Sunset Boulevard, "it’s a matter of power and control, a dynamic process, just my meat—I’ve never had a serious accident."
"You won’t have but one," she said bitingly. "Will you please keep your eyes on the traffic?"
He attempted to explain to her that a traffic situation was a matter, not of eyesight, but intuitive integration of courses, speeds, and probabilities, but Bailey cut him short. "Where is the house, Quintus?"
"House?" asked Mrs. Bailey suspiciously. "What’s this about a house, Homer? Have you been up to something without telling me?"
Teal cut in with his best diplomatic manner. "It certainly is a house, Mrs. Bailey. And what a house! It’s a surprise for you from a devoted husband. Just wait till you see it—"
"I shall," she agreed grimly. "What style is it?"
"This house sets a new style. It’s later than television, newer than next week. It must be seen to be appreciated. By the way," he went on rapidly, heading off any retort, "did you folks feel the earthquake last night?"
"Earthquake? What earthquake? Homer, was there an earthquake?"
"Just a little one," Teal continued, "about two A.M. If I hadn’t been awake, I wouldn’t have noticed it."
Mrs. Bailey shuddered. "Oh, this awful country! Do you hear that, Homer? We might have been killed in our beds and never have known it. Why did I ever let you persuade me to leave Iowa?"
"But my dear," he protested hopelessly, "you wanted to come out to California; you didn’t like Des Moines."
"We needn’t go into that," she said firmly. "You are a man; you should anticipate such things. Earthquakes!"
"That’s one thing you needn’t fear in your new home, Mrs. Bailey," Teal told her. "It’s absolutely earthquake-proof; every part is in perfect dynamic balance with every other part."
"Well, I hope so. Where is this house?"
"Just around this bend. There’s the sign now." A large arrow sign of the sort favored by real estate promoters proclaimed in letters that were large and bright even for southern California:
THE HOUSE OF THE FUTURE!!! COLOSSAL—AMAZING— REVOLUTIONARY See How Your Grandchildren Will Live!
Q. Teal, Architect "Of course that will be taken down," he added hastily, noting her expression, "as soon as you take possession." He slued around the corner and brought the car to a squealing halt in front of the House of the Future. "Voila!" He watched their faces for response.
Bailey stared unbelievingly, Mrs. Bailey in open dislike. They saw a simple cubical mass, possessing doors and windows, but no other architectural features, save that it was decorated in intricate mathematical designs. "Teal," Bailey asked slowly, "what have you been up to?" eal turned from their faces to the house. Gone was the crazy tower with its jutting second-story rooms. No trace remained of the seven rooms above ground floor level. Nothing remained but the single room that rested on the foundations. "Great jumping cats!" he yelled, "I’ve been robbed!"
He broke into a run.
But it did him no good. Front or back, the story was the same: the other seven rooms had disappeared, vanished completely. Bailey caught up with him, and took his arm. "Explain yourself. What is this about being robbed? How come you built anything like this—it’s not according to agreement."
"But I didn’t. I built just what we had planned to build, an eight-room house in the form of a developed tesseract. I’ve been sabotaged, that’s what it is! Jealousy! The other architects in town didn’t dare let me finish this job; they knew they’d be washed up if I did."
"When were you last here?"
"Yesterday afternoon."
"Everything all right then?"
"Yes. The gardeners were just finishing up."
Bailey glanced around at the faultlessly manicured landscaping. "I don’t see how seven rooms could have been dismantled and carted away from here in a single night without wrecking this garden."
Teal looked around, too. "It doesn’t look it. I don’t understand it."
Mrs. Bailey joined them. "Well? Well? Am I to be left to amuse myself? We might as well look it over as long as we are here, though I’m warning you, Homer, I’m not going to like it."
"We might as well," agreed Teal, and drew a key from his pocket with which he let them in the front door. "We may pick up some clues."
The entrance hall was in perfect order, the sliding screens that separated it from the garage space were back, permitting them to see the entire compartment. "This looks all right," observed Bailey. "Let’s go up on the roof and try to figure out what happened. Where’s the staircase? Have they stolen that, too?"
"Oh, no," Teal denied, "look—" He pressed a button below the light switch; a panel in the ceiling fell away and a light, graceful flight of stairs swung noiselessly down. Its strength members were the frosty silver of duralumin, its treads and risers transparent plastic. Teal wriggled like a boy who has successfully performed a card trick, while Mrs. Bailey thawed perceptibly.
It was beautiful.
"Pretty slick," Bailey admitted. "Howsomever it doesn’t seem to go any place—"
"Oh, that—" Teal followed his gaze. "The cover lifts up as you approach the top. Open stair wells are anachronisms. Come on." As predicted, the lid of the staircase got out of their way as they climbed the flight and permitted them to debouch at the top, but not, as they had expected, on the roof of the single room. They found themselves standing in the middle one of the five rooms which constituted the second floor of the original structure.