'Oh, how he did frighten me!' said the poor little thing.
'Never mind, dear, it's all right now!' and I plied her with vigour; my hands roved over every beauty; soon her eyes swam in tears of delight, she flung her limbs around me, she kissed and hugged me, and soon our climax came.
'Oh, oh!' she whispered, 'I — am so — afraid I shall sc-ream, delicious!' and we lay melting in bliss.
But soon recovering ourselves we renewed the soft encounter, and when that was over, we rose up to dress. She put the bed straight, tied my clothes all up in a bundle, and dropped them out of the bathroom window into the garden; then putting rapidly upon me one of her laced chemises and handing me a pair of silk stockings, and rose-coloured garters, she clapped on my head the most perfect female wig I had ever seen; it had springs which made it fit close to the head, and the parting was white silk. I glanced at the mirror, and did not know myself in the least. I beheld a laughing rosy girl, with a profusion of dark brown hair falling in ringlets all over her shoulders; it was myself. Then I put on a pair of white satin shoes and she laced up my stays and put a great pad of wool for each breast and a padded belt on my hips; then came three petticoats, then a white muslin dress, made rather high in the neck, and with short sleeves; then she placed a real rose in my bosom, ruthlessly ran a great needle through both my ears and hung in a pair of superb emerald earrings, flung a necklace of pearl round my neck, which, with my face, she powdered, and then, handing me a pair of white kid gloves, she pronounced me perfect. I glanced at the mirror again. It was truly wonderful! Then she began to dress herself, I assisting her and kissing her lovely back and shoulders and breasts all the while. She had got on her chemise and was lacing her stays when there came another rap at the door; she ran and opened it. It was B-.
'Sorry to disturb you, my pet,' said he, 'but are you girls coming with me in the carriage, or do you take the palankeens?'
She opened the door wide enough to let him see me as I stood with my back to the door, and then said, carelessly, 'Why, no dear. I shan't be dressed for some time yet — you see I'm halfnaked — so I won't keep you waiting, poor old boy; but keep places for us at the theatre, near you, you know! Ta, ta!' and she shut and locked the door again.
When we had heard the carriage drive off, I said, 'Why did you open the door and let him see me! what an imprudence.'
'Little simpleton, not at all! he only saw your back, and he saw that my companion was really a young lady.'
'Yes,' said I, 'and he saw that muslin dress, and will recognise it on the stage, and will know that I am not a young lady.'
'For which reason we will change it, my dear, put on this lilac silk, your figure is so slight it will fit you I'm sure.'
'If you're going to take this muslin dress off me, I know what I shall do before you put the other one on.'
'Now, now, naughty.'
'Yes, dear Ellen, do, do.'
'Well, be quick then,' and she unfastened the dress; it was off in a moment, and we were on the bed in a trice. What a rapturous fuck it was!
When we had a little recovered ourselves I said, 'But there is yet a difficulty to be overcome. It is clear if I act the part of Laura in this lilac silk, I must change it ere I take the part of Miss Jermyn in the ballroom; spite of my mask and your fair protection, I should be detected by the dress, which would spoil all.'
'For which reason,' said the clever little woman, 'you will be brought back here by my bearers, and you will tell my ayah [maid], that you don't feel very well, that you will be down for half an hour, and then go to the ballroom; you will then lock that door and change your dress again, substituting the muslin and rose for the lilac silk and brooch. She will not see the lilac silk at all, as I shall lend you my white capote which will envelope you from head to foot; when you have got the lilac dress off, you will fold it up carefully and put it into that drawer, and lay the muslin one over a chair; at the expiration of half an hour, call my ayah, and let her help you on with the muslin dress, telling her that you took it off before lying down, fearing you might tumble it.'
'Why, I declare!' said I looking at her with admiration, 'you have a real genius for intrigue.'
'You flatter me.'
'I — not at all; you are a buttercup; kiss me darling!'
She did so.
'Well now we're ready, let's be off,' and away we went.
My palankeen deposited me at the stage door, her's took her to the dress circle.
'What have you done with your fair companion, my love?' said her husband as he made room for her beside him.
'Oh, isn't it tiresome,' said she, 'she does not feel well, and is obliged to be down, poor dear; she won't be able to come to the play, but she has promised to join me afterwards at the ball.'
The curtain drew up, and the farce commenced. I was well up in my part, but having to appear at the window of a romantic-looking cottage, and respond to the enamoured strains of my gay Lothario, as the devil would have it, I made a sad mistake, for be it known that the reverse side of that romantic cottage was a mass of whitewashed boards and dirty cobwebs, and against this ricketty erection was placed an equally ricketty ladder, on which I, poor Laura, was standing, in imminent peril of my neck; when, therefore, Lothario, falling on his knees, exclaimed, 'Allow me to salute you a la militaire!' I was so flabbergastered that I quite forgot what pretty reply I ought to make; whereupon the prompter, Captain P-, gave me a tremendous pinch in the calf, exclaiming, 'Damn it, why don't you answer,' this in a whisper. But I, feeling the pinch, and forgetting my character, shouted out,
'Damn it, don't pinch so.'
To hear the lovely Laura use such an expression at such a sentimental moment, of course, set the house in a roar of laughter, while ironical bravos saluted my ear on every side; as for poor Lothario, he looked ridiculous enough still kneeling before the cottage.
Silence being at length restored, Captain P- went on the stage and thus addressed the audience: 'Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Laura begs to offer her humble apologies for the slip of the tongue of which she was guilty and promises not to offend in future, if you will allow the piece to proceed.'
The play then went on, and the curtain fell at length amidst loud applause. Laura was called before the curtain, was loudly cheered, made her bow and hooked it.
Strictly following the directions of Mrs B-, I lay down for half an hour then called the ayah, and by and by appeared in the ballroom in the muslin dress and masked like the rest. I seated myself near Mrs B-; her husband was standing by.
'How do you feel now dear?' said she.
'Thank you very much, I am better now, my headache is gone, and I feel pretty well.'
'I'm so glad, dear.'
'Shall you dance tonight, dear Mrs B-?' said I.
'No, my love, I think not! but here comes Mr F-, he's so fond of dancing.' F- advanced rather timidly and bowed.
'Why Mr F- where have you been this last week? I have not seen you for an age,' said she, giving her husband a droll look.
"Gad I've called a good many times on you, my dear Mrs B-, but you were always denied to me.'
'Really, how sorry I am!'
'Perhaps you'll make a fellar amends by dancing with him?' said the lout.
'Couldn't do it my good man, I am quite tired, I merely intend to look on; but here is my friend
— Miss J-, Cornet F-; Cornet F-, Miss J-. She will be happy I'm sure.'
'Vewy prowd, miss, I'm sure,' said F-, with an awkward bow.
'Oh, I love dancing,' said I, with a languishing air.
We stood up; I danced eight sets with him and two waltzes, and never parted with him an instant. At four in the morning he took me in to supper, I devoured nearly a whole chicken, four slices of tongue, and drank nearly two bottles of champagne. F- regarded me with a sort of grotesque horror, and I heard him whisper to a friend,