The Vatican Rip

Possibly they had two houses, and her husband had some business out of the city.

Our drive through the rain took maybe an hour or just a little less. We pulled in to the gateway of a villa. It was lit by an outside ornamental lantern so presumably somebody was home and waiting up for her. Lights of a couple of other villas were visible not too far off. I couldn't see for rain and dark, but gained an impression of palms and paths leading off a patio into a garden.

I waited, thinking, now what do we do? It was a hell of a way back, and by now so late I doubted if a taxi would make the journey out this far.

'You'll have to come in,' she said. 'No sense in sitting here.'

We ran up the few marble steps into the shelter of the porch. Dashing in the rain always makes me smile. I noticed she used keys instead of ringing. I stood feeling full of doubts while she clicked the door open and went in shaking her hair like they do.

She had hall lights on before she realized I was still dithering in the porch. Her shoulders drooped as if with exasperation.

'Lovejoy.' She didn't even turn round.

'Yes, signora?'

'You now come in.'

'Erm, thank you.' I stepped inside. She still hadn't turned.

'And now you close the door behind you.“

'Right.' I did as she said, feeling a twerp. 'Look, signora,' I said doubtfully. 'About my, erm, getting back

She turned then. I couldn't tell whether she was laughing or crying. 'Lovejoy,' she said.

'I don't believe you're real.'

* * *

She said the same thing again during the night. It must have been about three o'clock in the morning. I was across in the bathroom. She came from the bedroom and stood wobbling sleepily in the doorway.

'Lovejoy. What are you doing?'

'Washing my socks.' I'd done my singlet and underpants and was hanging them on the heated rails.

'You are what?'

'I've only one lot.' It was all right for her. I'd never seen her in the same clothes twice.

A set of heated drying pipes was not to be sneezed at. 'Finished.'

She came against me, apparently snuffling with laughter. I was glad, because I was stark naked. So was she for that matter, but nude women don't look stupid like we do.

A woman like her could make a man forget Maria.

'I told Fabio to get you fitted out.'

'He must have forgotten.'

'I'll make sure he remembers.'

'Mind, signora,' I warned. 'My hands are wet.'

It was then she said it again. 'Lovejoy,' she breathed against my neck, her hands about me. 'I don't believe you're real.'

Her saying that was getting on my nerves. 'What are you on about?'

'I mean you call me Adriana now. Come back to bed.'

She meant cretino.

CHAPTER 19

Next morning was a right scramble. It shouldn't have been, but for some reason Adriana was anxious to make a proper breakfast for us, warbling in the kitchen with me gaping at the loveliest of views over a valley. I had her point the places out on the map and was delighted to learn we were near the Tivoli Fountains at the Villa D'Esté. She said we would go one day.

She drove quite expertly and probably twice as well as me. Women are mostly better drivers than us. I've noticed that. I was thankful, because there was a snarl-up on the main road into the city. We had delayed getting off the bed as well, which didn't help.

She dropped me with money for a taxi.

Anna had not left for the day's work. We had a brief skirmish, but that was practically par for the course nowadays. She was at her make-up when I came in and she rounded on me. Of course I had no reason to feel guilty but women always put you in the wrong.

'I suppose you've been with that posh whore? The grand signora.'

'No,' I lied. 'If you must know I've been looking around.'

'The rip?' she breathed, unbending.

'Yes.'

'I'm glad, Lovejoy.' She gave a half-smile. 'One of us messing it up's bad enough.'

She was apologizing for that business with the police. I felt a heel but quickly suppressed it. There were too many people not on my side for me to go over and join them.

'I want you to do something. Can you get hold of a camera? They took theirs back.' And asked all sorts of awkward questions when I couldn't produce any photographs.

'I'll get one.'

I warned, 'Legitimate, no stealing. Make sure you get a film that fits. Have somebody do it for you if you're uncertain. Then photograph the Colosseum.'

'All of it?'

'No. Go in to the right. The terrace ends about half way round, where the ancient Romans had a sort of elevator. There are great blocks of stone—'

'I know the place. Where the masons work?'

'Photograph the stones, the recess, everything.' I didn't say that was where Marcello died. 'From every angle you can think of. It's vital, so do it properly.'

'I'll do it, Lovejoy.' She looked at me through the mirror, doing her mouth. 'And thanks.'

'What for?' I'd just given her a monumental load of work to do, one my life would depend on.

'Just thanks.' I let it go. I don't understand birds sometimes.

She came to close the door after me. 'Lovejoy. I've had news. Carlo comes out of hospital tomorrow.'

'About time,' I said as levelly as I could. It had had to come. 'Tell him I want the ambulance on standby in three days. 'Morning, Anna.'

'Morning, Lovejoy.'

I started making the winch that morning.

* * *

Maybe my timing was a bit unfortunate, knowing what I now knew of Piero and Adriana, but I was on a tight schedule. You can't keep Vaticans waiting. So while I was drying out some glued pieces after weighting them down I went into the yard to measure up for the beam, a plain girder with a pulley.

'What are you doing, Lovejoy? Who said you could start on that?'

Good old Piero had come to check on me. He did this about twice an hour usually.

Never said much, just gave a long glance, then went back in. This time he was inquisitive and suspicious.

'Well, nobody, but—'

'You were told your winch idea's off. Listen.' He came closer, casual as anything. I glimpsed Fabio's delighted face at the rear window. 'Your job here is to take orders.

Understand?'

'I know that. But it's daft to waste—'

'Piero.'

Adriana was standing at the top of the showroom's back steps. An entirely new outfit.

Lemon was today's colour, a graceful suit and chiffon scarf. No gold, just enough silver to bend the bullion market. Her hair was lustrous. She looked straight out of Imperial Rome, a real blinder.

'Eh?' I realized she had asked a question, what was going on? 'Oh. I thought I'd start measuring up—'

'For a winch for the top floor,' Piero said. He never took his eyes off me. If Adriana hadn't arrived we'd have been having harsher words than this.

I shrugged. 'If we can't use it for upstairs, it'll do for the showroom. A kid could use it to lift the heaviest furniture right into the ground-floor showroom. For God's sake,' I said, making out I was getting tired of it. 'Even the ancient Romans had lifting devices.

Go to the Colosseum. The mason there lifted those great blocks all day long with one finger, and we hump wardrobes and cabinets up and down those stupid steps, into the loading yard. Daft.'

'Then he can make it for the showroom,' Adriana told the middle distance. 'Will it be safe?'

'Perfectly.' I smiled at her but not at Piero.

And I thought, like hell it will.

Fabio spent a contented morning after that, pouring oil on troubled fires. He took great pleasure in calling me into the showroom, innocently asking my advice on this or that antique. Twice I told him the stuff he was asking about was gunge, modern fakery, and each time he simpered with pleasure. It was only when I saw Piero's thunderous expression that I realized what game Fabio was playing. They were 'antiques' Piero had bought in. Hey ho.