He seemed half mad with sensual rapture, and as well as his physical efforts would permit, kept up a running fire of expressions of admiration; in which his blind adoration mingled with good qualities of his mistress's mind and body together, in a most incongruous manner.
He went on, in what would have been under any other circumstances, a most ridiculous way about her loving nature and her plump thighs, about her loving disposition and her delicious cunt; about her perfect taste in dress and her glorious buttocks, and finally referring to the delicious operation he was performing, declared that in all his experience he had never known such exquisite and complete enjoyment.
A good deal of this pleasure was, doubtless to be attributed to his lovely friend, who naturally flattered at hearing such enthusiasm exhibited with regard to her person, endeavoured to return the compliment by exerting herself as well as she could under what, to her, were rather unusual circumstances. All she could do was to straddle her legs as far apart as she was conveniently able, and to shove her rump out to meet her lover's long shoves. This she was the better able to do, as he did not perform nearly as quickly as she had been accustomed to be fucked when lying on her back, or in any posture with her belly up. On the contrary, he worked his prick in and out, as if he were desirous of protracting his treat, as there is no reason to doubt he really was. But he could not continue forever; and at last the interesting incident occurred, which called forth the remark from Eliza, about her 'bowels' and 'warm oil', and etc., etc. Nor was this all, for when he withdrew his comely weapon from its charming sheath, and prepared to stow the much subdued implement away in the sanctuary of his trousers, Eliza remarked: 'Be quick, dearest Alfred, and get away with you, for to speak plain English, I want to make use of this little house in a necessary point of view.'
Indeed, before the gallant Captain could get himself buttoned up, nature compelled Miss Bonham, greatly against her ideas of delicacy, to lift the seat she had just been stooping over and again baring her beautiful bottom, to put the temple of refuge to its legitimate use.
All this the Captain viewed with the utmost complacency; in fact, he rather expected it, as a natural consequence, and was cool enough about the matter to hand his cousin some soft paper which he happened to have in his pocket. And there is not the slightest doubt that he would have waited in attendance on his fair lady, until she had finished her business, had not the prudent Eliza suggested the propriety of his absenting himself, for fear Mr. Bonham should find him in or near the temple, which with Eliza inside, must have looked very suspicious.
So the gallant commander, lighting a cigar, took himself off and paraded a neighbouring walk, until such time as Mr. Bonham should make his appearance, or his daughter should emerge from her lurking place. The former event took place first, and Mr. Bonham's approach was made known by his heavy footsteps, and his blowing his nose after the manner of a trumpet, heralding his advent.
'Ha! Alfred my boy, all by yourself! What have you done with Eliza?'
'Miss Bonham, Uncle, left me a few minutes ago, I don't know exactly where she has gone but I have no doubt she will return directly.'
The answer was made with the greatest coolness and most commendable gravity, and certainly without leaving the elderly gentleman room to suppose that anything uncommon had taken place during the last twenty minutes or thereabouts.
'Eliza is a charming girl, though I am her father and perhaps should not say so,' remarked the old gentleman, as they walked along. To this, the younger one gave ready assent.
'And as good as she looks,' continued Mr. Bonham.
'You should be no stranger to my opinion of my cousin Eliza's charms, by this time sir,' replied the young officer. 'I consider her to be all perfection, both in her mind and person (I wonder what the old boy would say if he knew how intimately I am acquainted with all parts of her beautiful body, both back and front.)'
This last remark, as may be imagined, he made to himself.
'Well, Alfred,' his uncle resumed, 'as soon as you get your step, I do not see any particular objection to your being married. What with your private property, your pay and Eliza's money-ahem! — you ought to be able to do very well, and I'll look and see what cash on hand I have at my bankers. I am not sorry to hear that your Major is about to leave your corps. I have heard a very bad character of him.'
'Indeed sir!' was the reply, 'I am surprised to hear that. Major Pobjoy is considered a very respectable man, rather pious indeed, and very discreet.'
'Pobjoy wasn't the name mentioned to me, but I heard of the affair this day, as I passed through Rutshole, and very hurriedly. A respectable tenant of mine, or rather the wife of a tenant,' (Mrs. Fielding, I'll bet a sovereign, muttered Alfred)-'told me some hardly credible stories about a certain Major named Ringdove, or Stifftail or some such name as that.'
'By Gad, she's very sharp about it!' muttered Torrant, and then said out aloud: 'I don't know any officer of that name, sir, but pray, what has the culprit been doing?'
'Why my dear boy, I hardly like mentioning such indecent subjects; but I believe he had connection with a young lady of the Reverend Stiggins' congregation, in the chapel, under that faithful shepherd's very nose!'
'Pray, uncle, did the lady enjoy being fucked?'
'Why no, I can't say that I understood she did,' replied Mr. Bonham, completely taken back both by the question and the straightforward way in which it was asked. 'But the scandal does not stop there, for on the sainted pastor proceeding to the barracks next day to reprove the man of sin, and entreat him to flee from the wrath to come, Major Dovetail, or whatever his name is, accused the apostle of having been detected in the criminal action of having connection with a swine, and kicked him out of the barracks.'
'Had Mr. Stiggins been discovered poking a pig?' asked Captain Torrant, with an air of great interest, not as if the incident was at all unlikely.
'Great Providence, nephew, no! Why Stiggins is next door but one to one of the holy apostles and-'
'But he may have buggered the pig for all that,' stubbornly insisted Captain Torrant, 'at least it is as likely as any part of the story. There is no Major Ringdove or Stiff tail, or any such name in our regiment. One of the lambs of the fold may have got rogered, in the fear of the Lord, and in the middle of the sermon-very likely-and Stiggins may have been kicked out of the barracks, and may be again, if he goes there on any of his stinking errands. The pig copulation I know nothing about-I wasn't there so didn't see it. But here comes my fair cousin, so perhaps we had better defer our discussion until some other time.'
'I think so, indeed, Alfred,' was the reply, 'but I see that I have been imposed upon, and I should like to hear a little more from you on the subject, so instead of returning tonight, suppose you stay here and we will talk over matters in general, and your future prospects, matrimonial and otherwise. Here comes Eliza; let us walk together to the stables, and countermand your horses…'
So saying the trio walked off in the direction of the yard, Miss Bonham not at all displeased to hear her dear cousin's consent to pass the night at Rutsden Lodge.
CHAPTER 4
If Mr. Bonham fancied when he asked Captain Torrant to pass the night in his hospitable mansion, that this gallant officer would content himself with the solitary wretchedness of what was generally known as the bachelor's room, we believe him to have been very considerably mistaken. Indeed Miss Bonham, by virtue of her position as mistress of the establishment, took the first step with regard to her cousin's comfort in ordering the best bedroom to be prepared for him. This the reader will recollect our noticing as being adjacent to her room.