Moreover three or four of the gentlemen present undertook to walk in the same direction, in small but separate parties, so as to watch the result; and also to give aid to the countryman, in case of his conveyance or its interesting freight being interfered with by impertinently curious people, or any such disagreeable interlopers.
Then Stiggins was borne forth and deposited in his chariot: the conductor thereof upon being questioned as to whether the load of sanctity would not be rather too much for him, replied in the negative, asserting that he had harrowed many a heap of 'mook' as doubtless he had, and in the same barrow too-very lately.
'So,' as Mrs. Herman's says, 'the stately march went on.'
Torrant and Larkyns were about twenty yards ahead on the side path; then, in the middle of the road came the body of their victim, watched by Tom, walking carelessly along the path abreast the barrow; then two more officers.
Robert begged his master to let him take part in the procession, but it was considered dangerous.
When Rutshole was reached, these precautions showed the wisdom of the prudent young men who had adopted them. For the vedettes, if we may use the expression, encountered a policeman, who was staring with some curiosity at the conveyance moving slowly along the High Street. He was immediately collared by Larkyns and Torrant, humbugged by an impromptu story of a lost pocketbook by Larkyns, and escorted to the Red Lion to talk about the matter, over a glass of brandy and water. So the coast was clear, and the two gentlemen of the rear guard arriving immediately reported that the barrow was in the act of depositing its precious freight.
Immediately there was a rush made for the door, when the conductor was seen bowling his empty machine down the street on his homeward journey at a devil of a rate.
Simultaneously there arose from the opposite side of the street a shrill scream. The policeman and the officers immediately hurried across to render what assistance they could, most probably-and also perhaps to see the fun.
There they found Miss Larcher, her waiter and two housemaids in agonies of screaming at a prostrate figure, the upper half of which was enveloped in a sack, which the animal inside whatever it might be, was endeavouring to get rid of-but in vain. We are bound to say that the two young officers upon arriving at the scene of action, did not devote their first attention to the writhing tenant of the sack. They knew all about that kind of thing-but Julius nudged Torrent, saying: 'I say, Al, is that Miss Larcher? I thought she was an elderly piece of goods.'
'Well,' said his friend, critically, 'so she is, certainly, one of the hasbeens!
I should say: forty or nearly so, but still I agree with you, she is a fine well-made sort of an old girl, well kept too, I shouldn't wonder.
Devilish good fetlocks, she has got!'
This interesting comment referred, as the reader will perceive, to the general appearance of Miss Larcher, who was by no means the starched old maid that Miss Bonham, in her conversation with her cousin implied her to be. She had decided remains of former good looks, and, as Alfred's acute eye had remarked, very neat ankles, judiciously clothed in neat kid slippers and black silk stockings.
'Toss you lip for her, Alfred!' suggested Captain Larkyns, in as commonplace a sort of way as if it was a bottle of wine that was in question.
'Oh, no, my dear fellow,' replied his friend, 'you are quite welcome to try your luck.'
'Then don't you interfere,' said Julius.
'On the contrary, my dear fellow, I shall be happy to assist your virtuous endeavours in any way that I possibly can. Shall I curry favour with the lady by ordering a couple of gallons of coffee, and a bushel of buttered muffins? That's the sort of thing to do her I suppose?'
'Ha, ha,' laughed Julius, 'in half-an-hour's time, if I have any luck, you may have either a buttered muffin or bun if you like!'
While this confidential interlude was going on, the policeman, assisted by the waiter, had been dragging at the sack. This was removed at last with some difficulty to the operators, and more pain to the patient, as some of his glued-on plumage came off in the operation. Still there remained enough to make him look 'a thing of beauty,' which one of our poets remarked, 'is a joy forever.'
We presume that it was from some deficiency of poetical temperament that none of the spectators, always excepting our military friends, could see the adornment of the Stiggins mug in this light. At any rate, Miss Larcher screamed, and her maids yelled. The little waiter stood in speechless awe, and the policeman remarked in a musing tone: 'Well, I've seen a good many rummy stares but this beats all I ever did see. Suppose 'e must a been an' got drunk, an' slept in a 'en roost.'
'Drunk, the disgusting brute is certainly,' interposed Captain Larkyns, who was a three-bottle man.
'But he must not lie here, disgracing a respectable lady's house,' said Alfred, backing up his friend.
'Then I shall get a stretcher,' said Bobby, 'and have him taken to the station.'
'No, don't do that,' said the considerate Julius, 'or else Miss Larcher will have to appear-as a witness before the magistrate-most disagreeable position for a young lady to be placed in.'
'You are always right, Larkyns,' replied his faithful friend. 'I say, Officer, never mind saying anything at the station. Take the degraded beast across the street to the Red Lion and tell the boots from me to find some sort of a bed somewhere. I'll pay for it. He can be turned out when he's sober, you know, and there'll be no trouble to you, and no nuisance to Miss Larcher.'
That lady simpered and smiled, and expressed her sense of the polite consideration of the two gentlemen, and finally asked them to step in and refresh themselves. This being exactly what Julius wanted, the two friends were preparing to enter, when all of a sudden Captain Torrant pretended to discover that the object of their united disgust had a folded paper in his hand. This he extricated from between his finger and thumb, not dreaming however of severing the ligature that bound them together. And then gravely addressing Miss Larcher he remarked: 'By an extraordinary coincidence, this note seems to be addressed to you.'
'To me!' exclaimed the lady in great surprise, tearing it open, and in the first instance looking at the signature: 'Seth Stiggins! Why it can never be! Yes, but it is though-oh my, what a state for a babe of grace, a minister of the word!' Then, looking into the contents, she continued: 'Oh, the nasty, filthy wretch, take him awayout of my sight-such an insult! Into the nearest horse-pond with him,' and so on, in a high state of wrathful excitement.
Here the policeman returned with a couple of men and a stretcher; and Captain Torrant paid them all three for their trouble, while reiterating his commands to have the culprit conveyed to the Red Lion.
In the meantime, Julius was accompanying Miss Larcher to the house, begging her most earnestly and affectionately not to agitate herself.
'Indeed sir, you are very kind and polite,' replied the lady, 'but to think of that wretch, whom I have so long considered one of the elect, coming to my house in a filthy state of intoxication, and with a face like a badly stuffed owl, and to deliver me such a note-oh, I shall die of shame and horror!!'
'Not at all, my dear Miss Larcher,' replied Julius tenderly, 'we cannot afford to lose you on account of any such a wretch as that. Pray what is in his vile scrawl that should agitate you so deeply?'
'Indeed sir, I am almost ashamed to show it to you, but here it is. It would have been bad enough if he had written it while tipsy, but he had been sober enough when he wrote it, and that makes it more insulting, I know his handwriting.'