Abby realized she was fuzzier on the facts than she had ever known.
She hadn’t paid much attention at the time. Even later, through all the years, she had tended to avoid listening to any discussions about it, because it brought up her own unhappy memories.
Maybe everybody else didn’t have some facts wrong; maybe just she did.
That made more sense to her, and yet…
She felt uneasy, without even knowing precisely why.
Feeling as if the fog had followed her home, Abby walked over to her coffeepot to pour out the dregs of her first pot of the morning and make a fresh one so that Patrick wouldn’t have to drink sludge when he got out of his shower.
She and Patrick had been seeing each other for three months. It had taken him almost that long to get her to go out with him at all, and she thought that if there had been one other available man to date in town, she never would have. His own brother didn’t approve. Her friends didn’t like it. But what was she supposed to do? Move to a city where there were more men? Sit home all her life?
As Patrick took his shower, Abby put the other matter out of her mind for the time being. And anyway, it was all too easy to find another subject, such as Patrick, to obsess about. She berated herself for having given in to the unfair torture of being thirty-three years old, unmarried, with no good prospects, living in an impossibly small town, and horny.
On the other hand, he could make her laugh.
Suddenly she ran back into her bedroom and then over to the door of her bathroom. She opened it and called in to him in the shower.
“Patrick! You say you want to marry me. Do you love me?”
“I could!” he yelled back at her, over the sound of the water running.
There, she thought. It was things he said-like that-that made her smile and shake her head over him, regardless of everything else. At least he was honest in his way. Or maybe “blunt” was a better word for it. Infuriating and blunt. He was also really good looking, if you liked them a little tough. Good in the sack. There was that, there was definitely that. And, yes, sometimes he was fun to be with, in an adolescent kind of way. But marry Patrick Shellenberger, a man who had a hell of a wild reputation to rehabilitate, if he could ever do it at all?
Rex would kill her if she ever did such a stupid thing. She’d have to be really desperate to ever think of marrying Patrick.
One more time, she yelled at him. “Why do you want to rehabilitate yourself, Patrick? What’s in it for you?”
From the shower, he started singing, “Mandy” at the top of his lungs.
When he came back into the kitchen, smelling fresh and clean even though he’d had to put on yesterday’s clothes, he accepted a mug of black coffee from her and said, “That thing about me being home that night? When we found the girl? How long have you known about that?”
“I don’t know,” she equivocated, with a little shrug.
“Who else knows?”
“Beats me.”
“Well, keep it quiet, okay?”
“Why isn’t anybody supposed to know, Patrick?”
He gave her a crooked, charming smile. “Because yours truly had just flunked out of K-State, that’s why I was home.”
“I didn’t know you flunked out of K-State!”
“Exactly.” He grinned. “My parents were ashamed of me. My dad was ready to kill me. Hell, I wasn’t all that proud of it myself. Everybody was supposed to think I left because I didn’t like it.”
“Okay. My lips are sealed,” she told him.
He pressed his mouth against hers. “Now they are,” he murmured, and then he backed away and sat down in a kitchen chair to finish dressing.
He reached for one of his boots and started to pull it on.
“Goddammit!”
Abby whirled around from where she had begun to chop fresh fruit at the sink. “What?”
One of his brown boots dangled from his right hand. “They did it again! Your goddamn birds shit in my boots again!” He looked furious enough to wring somebody’s neck, either hers or her birds. “Look at this!”
He turned the boot so she could see a river of white down the inside of it.
Somebody had obviously perched on the edge of it and then let loose.
“Oh, Patrick, I’m sorry,” she said, and tried hard not to laugh.
“It’s not funny, goddammit! Your birds hate me, Abby.”
She would have tried to deny it, but it was so obviously true. Her gray conure, her peach-faced South African lovebird, and her South American parrot all hated Patrick with a loathing that in another species might have been called venom. They screamed whenever he appeared, unless they were in their cages covered by sheets. They bit him if he got close enough to nip. And they shit on his belongings every chance they got.
“That’s it,” he said, staring grimly at her. “I can’t take it anymore.”
“Oh, come on, Patrick. Those boots have seen more cow shit than the inside of a barn. Give it to me. I’ll clean it up.”
He handed her the boot and she washed it out with paper towels. But when she gave it back to him, he said, “Those birds have got to go.”
“What?”
“I mean it, Abby. It’s them or me.”
“Oh, really?” She narrowed her eyes at him, and matched his ominous tone. “Well, then, don’t let their cage doors hit you on your way out, Patrick!”
“I’m going to kill those birds one of these days.”
He wasn’t joking and she didn’t laugh. This was the other Patrick, the Patrick she didn’t like, and never had, the one she remembered from when he was Rex’s hateful, sarcastic, older brother who had often teased her until she cried. Every now and then, that Patrick surfaced again, and she couldn’t stand him. Not only that, but she felt afraid of him, the way she had when she was six and he was ten, and for a lot of years after that. He had gone away that Patrick, and returned a nicer guy. But not always. And she knew that he hated the birds every bit as much as they hated him. “You ever touch them,” she said in a low, warning tone, “and I’ll have your ass in a cage.”
He glared at her, then grabbed his boots and stomped heavily out of the kitchen and onto the porch at the side of it, hurrying past the big covered cage where the three birds spent their nights. Before she heard the screen door slam, she heard him mutter hatefully to her covered pets, “Fried chicken! Chicken cacciatore! Duck l’orange!”
She couldn’t help it, she had to laugh again. It was the duck l’orange that did it.
Abby realized full well that there was a not-very-hidden violence in Patrick. The couple of nights he’d spent in jail when he was younger had been because of fighting, after too many beers. If he hadn’t had a sheriff for a father there might even have been more than those couple of nights behind bars. That streak of his had always been there, as long as she could remember. But it was hard to take seriously when he said things like “chicken cacciatore”-things he knew would make her laugh.
Abby ran after him, her bare feet picking up birdseed from the floor of the porch as she hurried to fling open the screen door. “Patrick!” she yelled at his departing back. “Don’t forget to bring me those bales of hay you promised me!”
Patrick didn’t turn around, but he did raise an arm to indicate he’d heard her.
When he didn’t also raise a third finger, Abby grinned, and took it to mean, “Okay.”
From under the cover, harsh squawks grabbed her attention.
With coos of greeting she lifted the covers off the spacious cage where her birds, J.D., Lovey, and Gracie spent their nights. When Abby had added two more birds to her menagerie, long after she stole J.D. from the Newquists, she found that it helped people to remember which was which if she called them something that sounded like the kind of bird they were. So the little gray conure was Gracie and the multicolored little lovebird was Lovey. Her customers got a kick out of seeing the birds on her porch in warm weather and often ran over to tap on the screens and chat with them.