Not graduating with his class? Not coming back?
Feeling pressure from her, afraid she’d get pregnant to trap him?
That was impossible! It was a joke. They were playing a cruel joke on her. They were all inside, behind the curtains, laughing at her. It couldn’t be true! No matter how serious Mitch’s mom had looked, no matter how much her voice had quavered with anger, no matter how deep the contempt in her eyes, it just couldn’t be true.
Is this really my fault? Abby backed away from the Newquist house.
For a long time, she stood in the snow, staring at the house that wouldn’t let her in. Was this really happening because of what she had wanted to do last night? Were they trying to keep Mitch and her apart?
She couldn’t believe Mitch had ever said those things, or felt those ways about her.
Abby ran to the back door and pounded on it again.
“Please! Whatever I did, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Please don’t send Mitch away! Please don’t send him-”
Her voice trailed off, and she finally began to cry.
When her mother found her there ten minutes later, Margie put her arms around her sobbing daughter.
“How did you know where to find me?” Abby wept into her shoulder.
Her mother looked as if she had run all the way through the snow. She had on a jacket, but it wasn’t even zipped, and she wasn’t wearing gloves, hat, or boots. With her feet clad in nothing but loafers and socks, Abby’s mother stood in the deep snow and held her.
“Nadine called, and told me to come get you.” Margie tightened her grip on her younger child, and whispered back with a tearful vehemence that turned her vow to a hiss, “I’ll kill her for hurting you like this!” She stroked the back of Abby’s head with one hand, and wiped her own tears with her other hand. Pulling back just enough to be able to look into her daughter’s brimming eyes, she said, “Come on, let’s get out of here. Let’s go home, sweetheart.”
Chapter Six
When Rex staggered down to breakfast that same morning, he found his mother seated at the kitchen table with her head in her hands, instead of cooking breakfast as she usually did. No wonder he’d come down late, he thought; there had been no smell of bacon frying to lure him out of bed. The whole house felt cold and looked dreary, even though the snow had finally stopped and bright sunshine was coming through the windows.
He dragged himself up out of his own misery enough to say, “You okay, Mom?” When she looked up, he saw that she wasn’t. “You look awful!”
“I feel even worse than I look, and please don’t comment on that.”
“Where’s Pat?”
“Asleep.”
“You want me to fix you something?”
She shook her head, but winced as if it hurt. “Your dad needs to see you in the barn.”
“When?”
“He said, as soon as you got up.”
“Have you talked to Doc Reynolds?” he asked her.
She looked startled at his question, but then seemed to realize that what he had meant was simply, “Did you call your doctor?”
“I’m afraid he’ll send me to Emporia, Rex. To the hospital. I think I have pneumonia.”
“Mom! If you don’t call him, I will.”
“I’ll do it. Go to the barn.” But before he could leave the house, she stopped him. “Rex? You asked if I’m okay, but I didn’t ask if-”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
He wasn’t anywhere near fine, “fine” was a distant country he was sure he’d never see again, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it, either, although he couldn’t stop. He was surprised he had slept at all, and he felt as if he hadn’t. His hand was definitely broken, no doubt about it. It was swollen to twice the size of his other hand, fluorescently discolored, and it hurt like holy hell. It was an indication of how rotten his mother felt, Rex knew, that she hadn’t even asked about it. He was careful to keep it hidden behind him, so she wouldn’t be reminded of it, and feel she needed to do something about it. And anyway, his hand was nothing. It didn’t hurt at all, compared to the way his heart felt. It, too, felt swollen, bruised, broken.
The snow had stopped falling, leaving more than two feet of white covering everything. That was two feet that would be multiplied by the many square feet that Rex figured he was going to have to plow and shovel before the morning got much further along. How he was going to manage to do that with a broken fist was just something else he wanted to avoid thinking about. Everything felt like an insurmountable task. He was so exhausted that he felt like there ought to be a warning label attached to his body: Do not allow to operate large machinery. His brain was foggy with stress and lack of sleep, and he felt as forgetful as if he had never done chores before, never fed horses or mucked out a stall. He felt as if somebody was going to have to take him by the hand-the one that didn’t hurt-and lead him from one place to another on this day of no school. How was he going to know where to go next, with no bells to ring in the hallways every forty minutes?
Clumsily, with his good hand, he slid open one side of the barn door, stepped into the warm, fragrant space, and then closed the door behind him.
“Dad?”
His father was in a stall where they had placed one of the cows with her newborn, and he was feeding the calf a supplemental bottle. When Nathan glanced up, and bestowed a tight, tired smile on his son, the unexpected warmth of it nearly undid Rex. Tears sprang to his eyes, and his throat filled. He had a suddenly overwhelming desire to confide his feelings to his dad, just as he had to his mom the night before, but long habit stilled his tongue.
“Won’t she take the teat?” Rex said, and then cleared his throat.
“Yeah, she will. I’m just making sure she gets through the first twenty-four hours.” His father pulled a long rubber nipple out of the baby’s mouth, and the calf tried to follow it. Foamy white formula dripped from her pink tongue, and more formula from the big plastic bottle dripped onto the hay at his father’s feet. Behind the calf, the young mother seemed to take it all in bovine stride.
“Sit down, Rex,” his father said, pointing to a hay bale across the way.
When Nathan finished with the calf, he went over to the big metal sink they had in the barn, washed out the nipple and bottle, and set them on a counter to dry. Then he sat down near Rex on a second bale of hay, letting out a deep sigh as he settled his weight. Rex rested his wounded hand so that his father couldn’t see it. His mother would be worried, but his father would be pissed at the stupid way he’d broken it.
Rex sucked air when his hand touched straw.
“What’s the matter?” his father asked instantly.
The question made Rex wonder if his mother had talked to his father at all.
“Nothing.” To take his mind off that pain he touched another one-his sore tongue. “Sorry I didn’t get up in time to feed the calves.”
His father waved it off. “I never got to sleep. Thought I might as well work.”
“Where did you take…her?”
“To Quentin’s office. Nothing else I could do.” He paused a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts. “Son, do you trust me?”
“What?”
“I said, do you trust me?” It came out gruff, impatient, but Rex put that down to the fact that his father looked embarrassed to be saying the words.