“Do you?”
“I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Well, sure. They’re nice.”
“What kind of guy wouldn’t like that set?”
Colin didn’t respond.
“Maybe a queer wouldn’t like them,” Roy said.
“I like them,” Colin said thinly.
“What do you like?”
“Did you forget what we’re talking about?”
“I want to hear you say it.”
“I said it already. I like them.”
“What do you like?” Roy persisted.
On the screen: erect nipples.
“What’s wrong with you?” Colin said.
“Nothing’s wrong with me.”
“You’re weird, Roy.”
“You’re the one who’s afraid to say it.”
“Say what?”
“What do you call them?”
“Jeez.”
“What do you call them?”
“Okay, okay. If it’ll make you shut up, I’ll say it.”
“So say it.”
“I like her set,” Colin said. “There. Happy now?”
Colin was blushing like crazy. He was glad it was dark.
“Give me another word,” Roy said.
“Huh?”
“Something besides ‘set.’ ”
“Will you buzz off?”
On the screen: breasts wet with saliva.
Roy put a hand on his arm and squeezed, hurting him a little. “Another word.”
“You say it. You seem to know all the words.”
“And you’ve got to learn them.”
“What’s such a big deal about talking dirty?”
“Is little Colin afraid his mommy will hear him and wash out his mouth with soap?”
“Don’t be absurd,” Colin said, struggling to hold on to his dignity.
“So if you aren’t afraid of Mommy, give me another word. Look up there at that screen and tell me what you see that you like.”
Colin nervously cleared his throat. “Well… I like her breasts.”
“Breasts? Jesus, Colin! Breasts are what you find on a chicken!”
“Well, a woman’s are called that, too,” Colin said defensively.
“By doctors maybe.”
“By everyone.”
Roy tightened his grip on Colin’s arm, dug his sharp fingernails into the flesh.
“Dammit, let go!” Colin said. “You’re hurting me.”
He tried to pull away but couldn’t free himself. Roy was very strong.
Roy’s face was only partly visible in the frosty moonlight, but Colin didn’t like what little he was able to see. The eyes were wide, piercing, fevered; Colin imagined he could feel heat radiating from them. Roy’s lips were drawn back in a mirthless grin, as if he were going to snarl like an attack dog.
Because of something extraordinary in those eyes, something eerie and powerful but indefinable, and because of the intensity with which the other boy spoke, Colin realized that this bizarre conversation held tremendous importance for Roy. He was not just teasing Colin; he was challenging him. This was a battle of wills, and in some way that Colin could not grasp, the outcome would determine their future together. He also sensed, without truly understanding why, that if he didn’t win this contest he would live to regret it with all his heart.
Roy squeezed harder.
Colin said, “Ahhhh, Jeez. Please let go.”
“Give me another word.”
“What’s the point?”
“Give me another word.”
“Roy, you’re hurting me.”
“Give me another word and I’ll let go.”
“I thought you were my friend.”
“I’m the best friend you’ll ever have.”
“If you were my friend you wouldn’t hurt me,” Colin said between clenched teeth.
“If you were my friend, you’d say the word. What the hell does it cost you to say it?”
“And what does it cost you if I don’t say it?”
“I thought you said I could trust you, that you’d do anything I wanted, like a friend should do. Now you won’t even talk with me about this lousy movie.”
“Okay, okay,” Colin said. And he actually felt a little guilty because it was such a small thing that Roy wanted from him.
“Say ‘tits’ for me.”
“Tits,” Colin said thickly.
“Say ‘knockers’ for me.”
“Knockers.”
“Say ‘boobs.’ ” “
“Boobs.”
“Tell me you like her tits.”
“I like her tits.”
Roy let go. “Was that so difficult?”
Colin gingerly massaged his arm.
“Hey,” Roy said, “wouldn’t you like to wear her tits for earmuffs?”
“You’re gross.”
Roy laughed. “Thank you.”
“I think you drew blood.”
“Don’t be a baby. I just squeezed a little. Wow! Look at the screen!”
The man had pulled off the bottom half of the girl’s bikini. He was caressing her bare buttocks, which were very white against her tan back and thighs, so white that they looked like the plump halves of a pale nut surrounded by soft brown shell.
“I could eat ten pounds of that ass for breakfast,” Roy said.
The man on the screen was naked, too. He stretched out on his back, and the girl straddled him.
“They won’t show us the good part,” Roy said. “Not at the Fairmont. They won’t show her getting it.”
The camera concentrated on her bouncing breasts and on her gorgeous face, which was contorted with feigned ecstasy.
“Does that make you stiff?” Roy asked.
“Huh?”
“Does it give you a hard-on?”
“You’re weird.”
“You afraid of that word, too?”
“I’m not afraid of any words.”
“So say it.”
“jeez.”
“Say it.”
“Hard-on.”
“You got one?”
Colin was almost sick with embarrassment.
“You got a hard-on, good buddy?”
“Yeah.”
“Know what it’s called?”
“Marvin.”
Roy laughed. “That’s funny. Real quick. I like that.”
The other boy’s approval was a palliative. Colin’s fear subsided just a bit.
“Do you really know what it’s called?” Roy asked.
“A penis.”
“That’s as bad as ‘breast.”’
Colin said nothing.
“Say ‘cock’ for me.”
Colin said it.
“Very good,” Roy said. “Excellent. Before this movie’s over, you’ll know all the words, and you’ll feel comfortable with them, just like I do. Stick with me, kid, and I’ll bring you up right. Hey, look! Look what he’s doing to her now! Look, Colin! What a popper! Look!”
Colin felt as if he were on a skateboard, rocketing down a long, steep hill, totally out of control. But he looked.
8
They got back to Santa Leona at ten forty-five and stopped at a service station on Broadway. The place was closed for the night; the only light was in the soft-drink machine.
Roy fished in his pocket for change. “What do you want? I’m buying.”
“I have some money,” Colin said.
“You bought supper.”
“Well … okay. I’ll have grape.”
They were silent for a while, chugging their drinks.
Finally Roy said, “This is a great night, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“You having fun?”
“Sure.”
“I’m having one hell of a good time, and you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because you’re here,” Roy said.
“Yeah,” Colin said, heavy on the self-deprecation, “I’m always the life of the party.”
“I mean it,” Roy said. “A guy couldn’t ask for a better friend than you.”
This time, the cause of Colin’s blush was as much pride as embarrassment.
“In fact,” Roy said, “you’re the only friend I have, and the only friend I need.”