“She faked her own death to get Kacey and Travis together. Believe me, this is exactly the type of thing she’d do.”
“Here it is!” Blanche showed up with a cake topper that looked perfectly normal. It was a couple who looked like Kacey and Travis, dancing in each other’s arms.
“Not bad.” Jake looked at Blanche. “What’s wrong with it?”
Blanche held up her hand and picked up the stand from the box then set the glass figurine down inside it.
The stand said, “Tits Forever.”
“Holy hell.” Jake swore under his breath. “We can’t take that to the wedding!”
Char covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing, then cleared her throat. “Is um, is there any way we can do it without the stand?”
Blanche looked horrified that she would even suggest it. “Without the stand?”
Char nodded.
“Without the stand?” Blanche’s eyes flared.
“Just back up slowly,” Jake whispered, grabbing Char’s hand and shielding her with his body.
“It needs the stand!” Blanche shouted. “Every figurine has a specifically made stand to sit on the cake; otherwise it sinks through. Do you want to ruin this wedding? What type of a bride are you?”
“Oh.” Char peaked around Jake’s body. “I’m not the bride.”
Blanche’s eyes narrowed. “But you’re picking up your cake topper.”
“Maid of honor.” Char raised her hand.
Blanche looked to Jake.
“I, uh,” he stuttered. “I’m the brother. Best man.”
“And you let this happen? You let them order a cake topping with the wrong spelling?” Blanche walked slowly around the counter and faced them. “What type of friends are you?”
“Bad ones,” Jake agreed. “Terrible ones.”
Blanche shook her head. “When’s the wedding?”
“Next week,” Char piped up.
“Well then, good luck telling them you won’t have a cake topper.”
“We’ll take it!” Char shouted from behind Jake.
He swung around. “It says Tits forever. No way in hell is that going on the wedding cake.”
“They need a topper!” Char argued. “You’re a guy. Can’t you just build something for the cake, so we can still use the topper they ordered? It’s really pretty. I mean when you take the ‘Tits’ out.”
Jake cracked a smile.
Char looked away again.
“Damn it.” He pulled out his credit card. “We’ll take it. Stand and all.”
“Lovely.” Blanche smiled. “I’m sure the bride and groom will love it. And if you ever need another cake topper, please be sure to keep Tops R Us in mind.”
“Over my dead body,” Jake mumbled and handed the receipt to Char while he grabbed the box and made his way out the door.
Char followed mindlessly.
They got into the car.
And laughed.
“We really shouldn’t be in charge of things,” Char finally said when she stopped laughing.
“What the hell are we going to do? If that’s the one Kacey ordered she’s going to flip if it’s wrong.”
Char shrugged. “Well, we’ll figure something out. Now let’s finish everything up. We have to leave tomorrow night.”
“Right.”
“Oh, and here.” She handed him the receipt and buckled her seatbelt.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jake swore fluently and crumpled the receipt in his hand before throwing it against the floor.
“Something wrong?”
“Yeah, that cake topper cost two grand.”
“What?” Char shrieked.
Jake smirked. “Tits sure are expensive these days.”
Char covered her face with her hands and laughed. She froze, however, when she felt Jake reach around and touch the back of her seat to back up. His hand grazed her neck. An involuntary shiver ran through her body.
“Um.” She leaned forward and grabbed the list. “Okay, now we just have to pick up Grandma’s gift.”
“Where to?”
Char squinted. “That’s weird.”
“What?”
“It’s just an address?”
Jake shrugged. “What is it? I’ll put it in the navigation.”
Char read off the address. Luckily, wherever they were going was only a few blocks away from downtown, closer to the college as well as to Queen Anne Hill.
After they turned down the right street Jake added, “I wouldn’t put it past Grandma to get them something inappropriate; just a fair warning.”
“Please.” Char rolled her eyes. “How bad could it be?”
Chapter Twenty-six
Jake realized that it could be that bad and worse when they pulled up to a drugstore. “I don’t get it. This is the address she gave us?”
He looked at the paper again and then at his watch. It was getting late and as much as he didn’t mind being with Char, there was no chance in hell was he going to actually spend late into the evening with her, not with the way his body was acting. He’d ruin everything. Wow, so now he was turning into a runner. Never thought he’d see that day.
“So should we just leave?” Char asked.
“I’ll call her.” Jake pulled out his phone and dialed Grandma’s number. She answered on the second ring.
“What?”
“We’re at the drugstore. Did you give us the wrong address for the gift?”
“No.”
Damn, the woman could try the patience of a priest. “Right. So is it in the drugstore?”
“Yes, they are.”
“They?”
Grandma yelled something and covered the phone and then cleared her throat. “Yes, just go in and tell them you’re there to pick up the things for Jake Titus.”
“Why’d you put it under my name?”
Grandma paused and then laughed. “Oh, I’ll be right there!”
“Huh?”
“Not you.” She giggled. “It’s under your name because you’re picking everything up. Now just go introduce yourself to the nice manager. He should be working tonight, and he’s expecting you.”
“Grandma, I hate to ask—”
“Then don’t!” The phone went dead.
Jake cursed and put it in his front pocket. “Something tells me we shouldn’t go in.”
Ignoring him, Char opened the door. “Come on, grow a pair. It’s just a drug store. She could have gotten them a gift card or something and needed us to pick it up.”
Jake thought he should really learn to listen to that inner voice. You know, the one that screams May Day! or Red Alert! when you’re walking into a trap. Everything about going into the drug store screamed trap.
Instead of listening to his inner voice, he ignored it altogether, mainly because Char was walking in front of him and he found himself hypnotized by the sway of her hips. He could do nothing less than follow.
But he really should have stayed where he was.
He knew that the minute they walked into the store and he introduced himself.
“Oh!” Bob, the manager, held out his hand. “We’ve been waiting for you! Now I think I have everything your grandmother needed right here for that wedding night!” He winked.
Jake cringed.
Char looked into the basket.
She really shouldn’t have.
Bob, thinking she couldn’t see, dumped the contents of the basket onto the counter.
“Now.” Bob cleared his throat. “Your grandmother has expressed interest in grandchildren. This is the top of the line fertility test. It will of course show when the lovely lady…” he waved at Char, then looked back at Jake, “will be ovulating. Do you know how to use one of these, miss?”
Char’s eyes widened with horror. Her mouth opened and closed.
Jake laughed nervously. “She uh, I mean we will… figure it out.”