Her smile was tight as she took his hand.
“Both of you stand just here.” He pushed them together.
Char almost stumbled into Jake’s hard chest. His eyes were distant, as if he was shutting her out from his world. She could almost see his abs through his tight black t-shirt. Lowering her gaze didn’t help because then she had a full view of his distressed designer jeans, and his Marc Nason boots that had probably cost more than her car.
“Dearly beloved…” Jim began reciting the welcome and the prayer. “Now we are going to move on to the vows. Take each other’s hands and repeat after me.”
“I, Jake Titus…” Jim started.
Jake cleared his throat. His hands were so warm as they held Char’s. “I, Jake Titus.” his voice had a husky drawl to it as he continued to talk. “Take you, Char Lynn, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” His voice caught in his throat as his eyes burned into hers. “To love and to cherish, to treasure, to be my best friend, from this day forth until my last breath leaves my body—I will be yours, as long as we both shall live.”
Char had to bite her lip to keep from crying. It was everything she’d always wanted to hear him say.
Jake closed his eyes when he was finished.
“Now, Char.” Jim cleared his throat. “Repeat after me. I, Char Lynn…” Char repeated the same vow. Halfway through her hands started shaking. Jake opened his eyes and mouthed It’s okay, so she kept going.
By the time she was finished, her heart was pounding so hard she would swear Jake could hear it. He smiled sadly when they had to release each other’s hands.
Jim addressed the nonexistent guests. “Travis and Kacey, or in this case Jake and Char, both expressed interest in writing personal vows to each other. We will hear them now.”
He handed the microphone to Jake. Clueless, Jake handed it back. Jim shook his head. “No, no, Nadine needs to hear your voice. I doubt you’ll have trouble talking about a pretty girl like Char.”
Holy crap. He was going to humiliate her in front of everyone.
“I’ve always liked pretty girls.” Jake laughed into the microphone, ruining Char’s brief moment of happiness. “And I can honestly say, Char’s the prettiest I’ve ever come across.”
The bridesmaids sighed behind him.
“Too bad she’s crazy.” He winked. “I mean really crazy. She’s threatened me more times than I care to admit. Don’t even get me started on wedding gifts and drug stores. Some of my happiest moments have been with her, some of my worst moments, too.” He paused. “Maybe that’s what love’s all about. You share the good and the bad, and hope to God that in the end the person will still be waiting for you on the other side. Marriage is a complete and total leap of faith—I’ve always thought of myself as a risk taker. The greatest risk of all is pursuing someone with your entire heart, knowing that it’s completely possible they won’t want you back.”
Char wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry.
Everyone was silent.
A car turned into the driveway. It was Kacey and Travis.
Grandma blew her whistle. “Finish the ceremony, Jim.”
Char shook her head. “But—”
“Finish it!” Grandma yelled as she made her way down the driveway.
“Do you take her?” Jim asked Jake.
“Uh, yes?”
“Do you take him?”
Char felt her eyes narrow as she gave a jerky nod.
“You have to say it.” Jim laughed nervously.
“Fine. Yes. I take him.”
“Then with the power vested in me by the state of Oregon, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!”
Everyone clapped lamely, until Jake stepped forward and pulled Char in for a mind-altering kiss that melted every defense she had erected that morning.
“Looks like I married the shrew.” He winked.
“Better than marrying the harem-possessing whore!” Char fumed, pushing against his chest.
Pastor Jim tried to separate them but they were already nose to nose.
“Is that jealousy I hear?” Jake snorted.
“Jealousy?” Char repeated, then threw back her head and laughed. “Yes, I’m so jealous of all the women who’ve shared your bed! At least I’m only one notch on your bedpost.”
“Two.” Jake smirked. “You’re two; you know why.”
Char lunged for his throat but Jim stood in the way.
“Smile and laugh all you want, Jake, but ten years from now, when I’m married with kids and living a happy life, you’re going to be nothing but a lonely bachelor.”
She couldn’t stop the words from coming. It was as if all the hurt inside her bubbled up and finally forced their way out into the open. Jake’s rejection had re-opened so many old wounds, wounds she’d kept packed away for so long.
His smile fell. “Better a bachelor than a bitch.”
The entire wedding party fell silent.
Travis walked up, shoving his hands into his pockets. “So what did we miss?”
Pastor Jim still stood between Char and Jake, his face a deep shade of red. “A blessed union.”
Jake swore and walked off.
Kacey came up alongside Travis; her gaze followed Jake’s disappearing form. “What happened?”
“What always happens with Jake?” Char shrugged. “He’s walking away.”
Chapter Forty-three
He couldn’t drink away his problems, he couldn’t whore them away. It was as if every step he took toward Char, he had to take a step back. Yes, he was still pissed about the fact that she had planned to sell out his family for her job, but the more he thought about it the more he respected her for saying no to her boss.
She needed a job.
Unlike him.
He could waste away the rest of his life and still have more money than he knew what to do with. Char, however, didn’t have a trust fund to fall back on; she didn’t have a multi-million-dollar house she could sell, or her pick of at least ten foreign cars.
The girl had to eat and pay bills, things Jake had never worried about, ever.
He’d had it all planned in his head. He’d joke around with her a bit to break the ice, and then he would apologize for snapping at her the night before.
Except then they’d had to stand in for the damn wedding ceremony and things had become so unbelievably real that he’d started to shake when he held Char’s hands. When he’d said those vows, he wanted to mean them. For the first time in his life he’d wanted the commitment to be real. Damn, but he wanted her to see past the façade he put on and just accept him.
In that moment, when he’d held her hands, when he’d looked into her blue eyes, his heart begged for her to see more than everyone else before. He though if anyone could see past his insecurities, it was Char.
But instead of seeing past it…
She’d exposed him, like a live wire, for the world to see. And for the first time in his life he had nothing he could say to make it better. He’d called her a bitch and walked away; again, he’d walked away. Was that how he was dealing with things now? Walking away and sulking? He didn’t want to be that guy anymore, the one that ignored all of his emotions, stuffed them into the farthest part of his brain and got drunk in order to forget he had them in the first place.
The problem with finally dealing with his past demons was that they’d been a part of him for so long that they’d almost become a comfort, or to him, a crutch.
He still had issues with Kacey’s parents’ deaths—never getting over the fact that they were taken from both him and Kacey. And then never feeling like he could live up to his dad’s strict standards of what a Titus should be. Then finally, his own belief that in the end, he wasn’t capable of loving someone the way they deserved to be loved.