I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I jumped. Cal.
“The dogs are ready to go, Dad,” Cal said. I stepped towards Joseph and let Cal’s slimy palm slip from my shoulder. Joseph folded me into his spare arm. I turned to his chest and helped him with the remaining buttons on his shirt, looking up and fake-smiling thinly. I was never good at acting different to how I felt. I swear I could almost feel Cal’s eyes boring into the back of my head. Maybe kissing an unconscious girl meant something different to him than it did to me.
Everyone was talking at once, giving orders or asking questions, the room crowded with bodies and opinions. I felt like a child trying to get attention, having to stand on my toes just to put my head in the cloud of clashing voices and ideas.
I was done being quiet.
“Excuse me,” I shouted, but no one was listening. I put my fingers in my mouth and whistled shrilly. Everyone stopped for a second, which was long enough. Wiping my hands on the back of my jeans, I said, “What’s going on?”
Cal spoke, I wish he hadn’t, even his voice gave me the creeps now. He directed his speech towards me, sending it on a dark, grey sloth of a cloud, his words hitting my face like wet mud. “The Woodland soldiers are doubling back. Surveillance shows they will be here in approximately two hours. We need to evacuate. Now.” He sounded all soldiery. He reached his hand out to me like he expected me to take it so he could pull me out the door. I glared at him, willing him to spontaneously burst in flames. Poof! Into dust! I imagined a swirl of Cal ash being sucked up into the air-conditioning vents. Sadly, no luck. He just stood there blinking, clueless.
Joseph’s arm gripped me a little tighter. I happily dissolved into his chest.
Everyone stared at me now, but I didn’t have the effect Joseph did. They looked at me like I was an annoying interruption. It was times like this I wished I was taller. “What do we need to do?” I asked, already feeling the adrenaline of flight taking over. This is what we do. We run.
Gus spoke this time. He was all business, which suited me fine. “Pack your possessions and meet us at the dog room. We’ll fit you out and show you what to do.”
Throughout the commotion, Apella looked shell-shocked frightened, her big blue eyes wide, her tiny body shaking. I walked to her and took her hand. Her eyes were glassy, vacant. She wasn’t doing so well. “Apella, look at me.” She stared right through me. “It’s all right. Look at me. I need your help.” I considered slapping her, my hand kind of aching to slap someone. Instead, I took Orry from Joseph and placed him gently in her lap. If I gave her something to do, maybe she would snap out of it or at least be distracted. “Can you look after him for me?” She tipped her chin ever so slightly. “You packed up?” I asked Alexei. He nodded. “Ok. I’ll meet you down there. I need to get something.”
People filed out of the room quietly. Now that we knew what we were doing, the arguing was over. Then it was just Joseph and me. Cal turned back and gave me a lingering, wounded look as the door closed. I wished it had hit him in the face.
Joseph swayed a little and sat down on the bed. I rushed to him. He was still a little weak. He pulled his hair from his face and searched my eyes. I gulped. Holding out his hand, he pulled me towards him. He laced his fingers in mine, heat running through them. If I closed my eyes, it would be so easy to forget everything that had just happened and fall into a pond of golden warmth. “What’s going on?” he said.
“You heard them—we need to get moving,” I said, avoiding eye contact as I started throwing things in the pack we were given. I was vibrating. My heart not settling to a rhythm, fast, slow, beat one, beat one, two, three…
He held me still and put his hands to my face, turning it slowly against my resistance to meet his eyes. “I have two questions. One…” he leaned down and kissed my top lip, sparks dancing in our eyes, “why are you and Apella so chummy all of a sudden? And two…” he moved in again, his mouth pulling at my bottom lip, those sparks igniting into flame, “why were you staring at that boy like you were trying to saw him in half with your eyes?”
Lie, I thought. I bit my lip, blinking, stalling. I was trying to come up with a decent lie, anything. Putting my hands in my pockets, all I could fish out was lint and a ball of paper that had been through the wash so many times, it had become a solid ball. I didn’t want to answer either of those questions.
“For your information, I was trying to make him spontaneously combust!” I said.
He let his hands fall but didn’t break eye contact. He rested his forehead against mine.
We didn’t have time for this. “He kissed me,” I blurted. His eyes dropped down, hurt, angry—I don’t know. I put my finger under his chin, trying to lift it but it was like he was made of stone. Even in a weaker state, he was too strong for me.
“And what did you do?” he muttered softly, still staring at the floor.
I was indignant. What did he think I did? Jumped on him and had my way with him in front of the sled dogs? “I kicked him,” I said, standing back with my hands on my hips.
I could see his brows rise beneath the curtain of blond curls. He pounded his hand in his fist. “Where is he? I’ll kill him.” I felt panicked. The last thing we needed was a fight. I looked at him, bewildered.
He lifted his head, his eyes gleaming. He chuckled.
“It’s not funny!” But I was smiling. It was ridiculous. Only I could manage to get myself in this much trouble already. I threw a coat over his shoulders and started dressing myself. Everything they gave us was pure white.
Pulling on the thick, padded boots, I paused, something occurring to me. “Why aren’t you angry, or at least surprised?”
He shook his head, laughing a little. “Rosa, I’m not an idiot. You’re a beautiful girl. You don’t think men might try and take advantage of you?” I snorted. He was an idiot. Was he serious? “But I also know you can take care of yourself.” His confidence in me was startling and probably unwarranted. I blushed, covering it by throwing him the boots and a hat, which he caught easily. He put the boots on and stood. I walked up to him and pulled the hat down over his ears, giggling. He looked hilarious. His hair was poking out at all angles under the white, wool cap. But his eyes, his eyes looked amazing, the white providing the crispest backdrop for the green. I tried not to get sucked into them and show how easily I could lose myself.
I cocked my head to the side like I was listening for something. “Is that why you like me, because you think I’m beautiful?” I hated that my heart was tripping over itself. That it mattered at all. It was a stupid question. No answer he gave me would be a good one.
He looked down at me and put his hands on my shoulders, like he was going to give me a stern talking to.
“No,” he said, finitely. I shouldn’t have been hurt. I had asked for it. I stared at the floor. My white outfit made me look like a giant marshmallow. “I love you because you’re beautiful and you don’t seem to realize it.”
At this I laughed, waving my hand in the air as I took a step back from him. “You know, you should write this stuff down. You could make a pamphlet and hand it out to inept boys who have trouble talking to girls.”
He smirked, irresistibly. “Well, honestly, you already think you’re right all the time. You’re pushy. I can’t imagine what you would be like if you were vain too.”
“Nice,” I said sarcastically.
He pulled my hat down over my ears, as I had done to him, and kissed me softly. “We need to go,” he whispered.
“I’ll meet you there.”
“You can’t go,” he said, his voice laced with worry. “I’ll come with you.” He determinedly stepped towards the door.