“Can you stop staring at yourself and come over here?” Deshi yelled.
I used my hands to guide myself to the end of it, feeling reverse blindness—a seeing person in an invisible world. I found the group of Survivors talking close to the other entrance of the tunnel. Although, I guess they were the survivors of the Survivors now. Alexei and Apella were positioned against the wall behind them. He was trying to coax Apella out of the sled, to no avail.
There were seven of them left. Only seven. I expected them to be grieving or angry but they were busy discussing the next move.
Gus spoke first. “We should wait until nightfall and take the spinners.” Cal was standing right next to him. When I peeked around the corner, his eyes lit up like I was on fire or something. Standing next to his father, it was surprising how alike they were. Same height, same hair, even their faces were almost identical in shape. I wondered if Gus went around kissing people without their permission. I grimaced at the thought of that thick, scratchy-looking beard anywhere near my face.
Joseph was listening, stroking his chin and swaying from side to side with Orry in his other arm. I tried not to gaze at the golden facial hair he had grown in his coma, adorable little brushstrokes of pure, spun gold, catching the light. His expression was stern. “I need to know your names and what your intentions are before any decisions are made,” he said flatly. Apart from Matthew, everyone was looking up at him. The way he spoke, no one was going to argue.
Gus walked over to him and shook his hand, introducing himself as the coordinator of the group. We already knew Matthew. Gus introduced Cal as his son and a contributor. Coordinator, contributor, these were words we didn’t understand the meanings of. Joseph shook his hand also. I saw Cal smirk as he approached and then wince when they shook, Joseph squeezing his hand too hard. I didn’t think that was necessary. Cal was still pumping his sore hand behind his back when Matthew introduced two other men and two women. “This is Gwen, Elisha, Bataar, and Hally,” He motioned to a tall, young woman, the woman who had ridden with us, and two dark men, similar in age to Gus, their skin leathery and wrinkled like raisins, muscular and gruff. We nodded in greeting.
“As for our intentions… we could ask you the same thing,” Gus stated, his dark brows knotted in conversation with each other.
I scoffed. “We don’t have any intentions; we’re just trying to survive.”
He shot me a disapproving stare at the same time as a cold wind shot through the tunnel. It swirled around us, shrieking, drowning out my irritation. Memories knocked me back like the wind was trying to dig icy fingers into my arms and drag me backwards through time. Back there, Clara would die all over again. I felt an arm on my shoulder, light and shaky. Alexei.
“I think what Rosa is trying to say is… we appreciate everything you have done for us but we need to know that we can trust you,” Alexei stuttered, dragging Apella by the arm into the circle. “Everything has happened so fast.”
“You’ve been through a lot, I know, and it is hard to trust people, people different from you. But you can, trust us, I mean,” Matthew said clumsily. He seemed somewhat unsure of himself, which was unlike him.
The woman, Gwen, interrupted. “We don’t have time for this!”
She was right.
The two groups stood opposite each other, like warring tribes. Lines drawn and redrawn. It dawned on me that we were no longer part of any tribe or group. We were only part of each other and those bonds were loose and fraying at best.
Joseph stood up tall. “Look, I am just trying to protect my family.”
My shoulders pulled together at the words. I had the urge to make an excuse and creep away, slide along the wall like a thief and run into the woods. Instead, I took a few steps into the middle of the group. “If we need to go, then let’s just go. But we need answers. Whoever is willing to give them can ride with me.” I scanned the group. Cal went to step forward but I shook my head. He was a worm I wanted to crush under my foot. Anyone but him. I wanted it to be Matthew but he was avoiding my eyes.
Gwen stepped forward. “I don’t know why we’re making such a fuss. We have nothing to hide. I’ll answer any questions you like,” she said, her voice like a whip, tight and lashing. I didn’t recognize it from the conversation in the bathroom and was a little disappointed I couldn’t use what I had heard to catch them out. Gus looked like he was going to object but she glared at him and he turned away. Right then, I liked her.
Everyone pushed their things into the remarkable carriages. Piles of crisp white sharper still against the blaring purple and dusty blue. Tracing the shape when the door was open, they were like giant marbles with a second sphere floating inside them. I heard Alexei exclaiming that they must be electromagnetic, whatever that meant. I squinted at the edge of the door, trying to decipher how they worked, but dogs barking distracted me and we were told to get in. Dogs and sleds went in the rear carriages with Bataar, and the rest settled in to wait for cover of dark.
We took off our suits and piled in. Our entire original group squished into one carriage with Gwen, who sat cross-legged on the floor, staring up at us. She was athletic looking, her limbs svelte under the thin leggings and a cotton top she had on underneath her suit. She was much taller than me, and tanned. She was like a cricket, with strong upper thighs and spindly thin calves. I imagined she could jump very high. Her hair was long, black, and plaited down her back. She played with her fingers as we tried to get comfortable, chewing on her nails and spitting them on the floor. My guess was she was not much older than us, maybe mid-twenties.
She scrunched up her face, creating dimples high up on her cheeks. “What do you want to know?”
“What, er, how did you build this amazing train?” Alexei asked. I wanted to slap him. That wasn’t important right now.
Gwen looked amused. “Borrowed technology. Next.” She flicked a nail upwards and it landed on the table in front of Apella. Disgusted, but at least showing a tiny sign of life, Apella used her pinky finger to flick it off.
“Yes but the reflections or absorptions…” Alexei stuttered.
Rage was boiling up—could he ever focus on what was important? Joseph took my hand, lacing his fingers with mine, Orry sleeping comfortably in the crook of his arm. I rolled my eyes; he would have to put that baby down eventually.
“Alexei, can you save those questions for later, please?” I said, trying not to sound too annoyed. I was trying to simmer it down to the one most pertinent question. All the questions mixed together in a whirlpool as the temperature rose and some floated away with the steam. Why had they rescued us? Why did they help us? Where were they taking us? What was expected of us when we got there? No. What was it?
Simple.
“Who are you?” I asked plainly, realizing I should have asked this about six weeks ago. Staring into her dark eyes, they looked like fiery black coals. I identified with that kind of attitude.
She raised her eyebrows and gave me a quick smile. Then her face turned serious. “I am a survivor. I live beyond the wall. I give shelter to those that need it. I am not chosen but I choose to live.”
A shiver ran through me, icier than the frozen land surrounding us.