Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I sang loudly.
Denis’ long leg slipped inside the door, followed by the rest of him. He eyed me and touched his finger to his forehead, rubbing it back and forth. “You ready for this?” he asked evenly. “It’s not going to be easy.”
I nodded, pulling my toes under my feet nervously.
He loped towards me and held out his elbow, casting his eyes up to the broken camera. “It will be fixed by the time you return, you know.”
“I’ll break it again,” I muttered.
“Mhm.”
I took his elbow to steady myself and followed him to breakfast.
The rest of the family was already seated when we arrived.
Judith looked up and huffed in my direction, “Why does she get to wear pajamas to breakfast?” she whined.
I steeled myself for the reaction, watching Grant carefully exhale through his nostrils like a horse that had just galloped a mile. There was heat in his eyes when he glared at me.
“She doesn’t. Rosa, return to your room and change into appropriate attire.”
I let go of Denis’ elbow and collapsed in my chair. “I can’t. My clothes are… er… damaged.”
Grant ignored my comment and took a deep, impatient breath. “Why do you refuse to wear the contacts you were given? You are my guest and are expected to adhere to my rules and traditions.”
Regression. All of my childhood was coming out to dance with me today. I covered my brown eye, letting the blue one gaze at the table. “Is this better?”
Grant frowned so hard his lips were close to leaving his face. His arms pushed back from the table. I smiled at him, big and toothy, still holding my hand over my brown eye, truly hoping that Denis was right. That the minute Grant thought he’d won, he would kill me. That this was the only way to survive.
I could almost hear Grant gnashing his teeth as I rubbed my hands together and said, “Food smells great!” I smacked my lips, grabbing forkfuls of bacon and piling it onto my plate. His anger was swirling around me in fronds. Any minute now, he was going to explode. The other members were glancing at each other nervously. Camille dabbed at her mouth with her napkin and cleared her throat.
“Coffee?” she asked, lifting the pot towards my cup.
I put my hand over my mug. “Ew! No thanks. That stuff tastes like crap!” I watched my hand vibrating, so shaky over the delicate porcelain cup ringed with silver, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to lift the food to my mouth. Keep it together. Don’t let him see how scared you are.
Denis let out a short laugh, covering it by taking a sip of his drink. And I started to wonder if this was a trick.
Grant picked up the bell next to his plate and rang it once.
Harry appeared in the doorway, his horrified expression showing what he thought of my behavior. “Sir?”
“Harry, please escort Rosa back to her room.”
I grabbed a handful of bacon. “Some for the road.” I smirked, winking at Judith, who looked like she might actually dissolve into a puddle of shock right in front of me, her mouth agape like she could swallow her whole plate in one gulp.
Harry ripped me from my chair, pieces of bacon flying through the air and landing in a greasy pile on the carpet.
“Ha! Whoops, sorry,” I managed with my mouth full of fatty pork. I saluted the rest of them as I walked backwards out of the room with a fake grin plastered on my face.
As soon as the door closed, I started to shake.
Strength, find me. I know I’m not built for obedience, but this goes against what seems like the smart thing to do. I can’t revel in this because I’m too scared.
Harry rattled me by my arm like he was trying to see what was loose inside. Everything. Everything.
“Not that I care, but what were you doing in there?” He was trying to sound angry but wasn’t quite pulling it off. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
I sucked in my lip and scrunched my eyes, trying to decide if it was worth answering. But there was no one else. My words, my resolve, didn’t mean much if no one heard me or believed me.
“No. I’m trying to live.”
He let out an exasperated sigh and held me to his hip like a laundry basket while he punched in the code to my door. When it opened, he threw me to the floor and dusted his hands off like they were contaminated.
“If you keep this up, you won’t,” he warned as he slammed the door shut.
I swallowed, hoping he was wrong.
I shuffled backwards until I was leaning against the bed, but I didn’t get up. I just sat there and swirled my finger through the plush carpet. Red like blood. I wrote my name and stared at it, then swept it away. Then I wrote down the names of all my family, ending with Orry. Twelve names. Twelve people who loved me and were counting on me to survive this hell.
There was no knock this time. The door swung open, and the edge of black rubber wheels appeared. I stayed where I was.
Grant wheeled into the room; his sinister expression, a lesson he was about to teach me.
“It didn’t last long, did it, Rosa?” He waved his hands around the room. “I tried to be civil, tried to be charitable…” He paused, gazing down at me. “I like you there on the floor. It’s where people like you belong.”
I shrunk back, but something was pushing out of me. “Well, it must be rare for you to be able to look down on people from your reduced height,” I quipped, my chin proud.
He slammed his fist down on the arm of his chair hard. “That’s enough!” he yelled. Spit flew from his mouth, his eyes wild with rage. “You can’t beat me, child.”
Anger pressed out of me from every angle. He was trying to carve me away until I was small enough, weak enough, to crush. I had to resist.
“Why don’t you walk over here and do something about it?” I challenged. “Oh that’s right, you can’t.”
He combed his hair back with his hand, menacingly slow. “I will get what I need from you. And I will walk. You’ll see me walk and once I have what I need, I will stand over you as you are executed.”
I breathed in and felt the threat wrap around my chest and tighten, squeezing insolent words out of me like wood glue. “Can’t wait!” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
He laughed in a small, mean way. “Oh, me neither.”
When he was gone, calm left me. I breathed too fast and too hard until pain spread throughout my rib cage, and I thought my heart might stop.
I ran to the bathroom and retched, the panic flooding my body. Gripping the sink, I waited for it to pass. I needed to claw my way out of this if I was going to make it, but at the moment, it was hard to see a way through. I splashed some water on my face and promised just to get through the next day. Tomorrow could be a year away.
A knock at the door signaled the next part was starting.
“Miss Rosa, I have to take you downstairs.”
JOSEPH
With every movement, my wounds grazed their loose dressings like I was wrapped in sandpaper. I touched my fingers to the edges of the tape, checking for heat in my skin. The last thing I needed was an infection. My skin was reassuringly cool. I pulled the blanket up, the cold eating at my fingers.
Elise appeared beside me when she noticed I was awake, running her hand over the old scar on my forearm. Her touch was light, a doctor’s touch. Her eyebrows rose at the slightly caved in look of it. I never noticed it anymore, but every now and then, I’d catch Rosa looking at it, her eyes distant. I knew she was playing an image in her mind of me collapsing in front of her, dead, and was beyond my reach. I wondered whether history did repeat itself or we were just unlucky. I wanted to believe it was luck, and that it would change.