‘He’s already offered you half the value of the house. But that’s only the opening gambit. A bit of bull-shit. It’s you who probably have the handle on that one. Unless, as I said before, you intend to move out. The upkeep is going to be fairly steep.’
‘My business is starting to roll,’ she said. ‘With his payments and my extra income, that should do it.’
He shook his head and smiled.
‘You didn’t understand the implication.’ She wondered suddenly why she hadn’t consulted a woman attorney. Surely a woman would have been more understanding, more tactful. They are all in it together, she decided, gathering a cloak of caution around her, remembering Peggy’s words: ‘It’s that goddamned cock of theirs. All their brains are there. Never mind palm reading. Reading the ridges of their cocks. You can really tell a man’s character from that.’
Suddenly the drawbridge over the moat went up. What she detested most was Thurmont’s posturing and superiority, as if he were the possessor of some special knowledge.
‘He offered you half the value of the house and its possessions. Not the house. Not what you have inside it. The value. Which means that an independent appraiser will look things over and determine what the real market value is. Then Oliver will probably go out and borrow the money and make one big settlement. As near as I can figure without the inventory, you might walk away with, say, between four or five hundred thou after fees. It’s a heavy wad. Should get you through the long, hard winter.’
He stood up and walked toward her, leaving his cigar in the ashtray. She saw his shadow loom close and caught the whiff of his musky cologne. For a moment she felt herself bracing for a physical onslaught. For some reason, she was certain, he had decided to make a pass. He didn’t, merely standing over her, looking down, underlining her helplessness.
‘I don’t think that’s fair,’ she said.
‘Fair?’ He stopped abruptly and she wondered if she had headed him off. She was annoyed that he had not made a pass. Maybe being fair game is what she really wanted, a real declaration of independence. With the exception of Josh and Oliver, she had no idea of what other men really looked like, felt like. That, too, wasn’t fair.
‘Are you going to lecture me about "fair"?’ he said.
‘I can’t lecture you about something that doesn’t exist.’ She enjoyed her jab at him. He offered a wry half smile, a broad hint of his arrogance. She was not intimidated.
‘You think it’s fair for me to have devoted nearly twenty years to his career, his needs, his wants, his desires, his security. I gave up my schooling for him. I had his children. And I devoted a hell of a lot more time to that house than he did. Besides, the house is all I have to show for it. I can’t match his earning power. Hell, in a few years he’ll be able to replace its value. I’ll just have cash. Well, that’s not good enough. I want the house. I want all of it. It’s not only a house. It’s a symbol of a life-style. And I intend to keep it that way. That’s fair.’
During the outburst his eyes had never wavered from her face and when she was through he offered her an unmistakably approving smile.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘we have here a live one.’ He bent down and whispered in her ear, ‘Do you mean it? Or is it merely indignation talking? In the real world indignation collapses first.’
‘It’s real as shit,’ she hissed, surprised at the extent of her firmness, wondering if it was really the way she felt inside. Was it possible that her resentment had been so deep? In the night, especially that first night, the guilt had come charging up at her, blocking out everything but her own imagined perfidy. She had called her mother in Boston and that hadn’t helped one bit.
‘I don’t understand what you’re saying,’ her mother had exclaimed after what Barbara knew was a long, garbled explanation. Hell, I don’t need her approval, she had told herself. Of course they would think her mad. Everyone, including her children, might think her mad. In the cavern of her empty bed, she wasn’t quite sure. All the resentment seemed to get screened through the lonely darkness and all that crawled into her mind was what one might call the good things. Oliver had been so supportive of her desire to get out and do something. Anything. He had been the principal motivator behind the kitchen, urging her on to the pursuit of the commercial possibilities of what she once believed was merely her pedestrian housewife talent. So he must think that he has created a monster. He was always someone to lean on, to be protected by, steady and sure and knowing and handy and decent and loving. A good provider. A good father. A good son. So, then, why was she doing this to him? She had barely been able to get her doubts through the night. The next night she took a Valium and things were better. Last night it had been still better. She was beginning to agree with herself again.
‘Up to now, Barbara,’ Thurmont said, intruding on her thoughts, ‘I would have thought you’d be the usual twenty-four-karat cliche, the I-just-want-out syndrome. The sad bleat of the unfulfilled woman. The beaches are strewn with their bloated corpses. They left home with empty purses, hot crotches, and high hopes. Fools. The lot of them. They didn’t have to leave home empty-handed. They didn’t even have to leave home.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘It’s possible, Barbara. We might be able to pull it off. But that will depend on you. He’ll buck, of course. It’ll be one hell of a mess. Dog eat dog.’
‘I won’t move. I want it all.’
‘It will mean time. My time. Your time. Pain. Arguments. Anguish. Inconvenience. Is it worth the candle?’
‘Damned straight.’
Thurmont looked at her with satisfaction. ‘You’ve got pluck, lady.’ he said happily, relighting his cigar.
In his words she read: I love messy divorces.
‘It’s my house. I worked my ass off for it,’ she said.
11
That morning he had started to pack, filling a suitcase in fits and starts. He went down to the library and fondly touched his Staffordshire figures, lifting a Littie Red Riding Hood, a Garibaldi, a Napoleon, caressing them fondly as he replaced them on the mantel. Then his fingers lovingly slid over the intricate carving of the armoire. He remembered how happy he had been when it was delivered to the house.
In the foyer he opened the case of the face of the long clock, and as he had done every morning for more than five years, he cranked the winding key and, checking the time against his Piaget, moved the minute hand forward by two minutes. He loved the familiar click of the pendulum on its relendess journey through time and patted the smooth mahogany of the case.
Then he looked at the familiar figures of Cribb and Molineaux and, quickly, his eyes misted.
Not today, he decided. It hurts too much. Leaving his packed suitcase in the guest room, he walked swiftly to his office. Miss Harlow had his coffee and doughnut waiting. The first bite stuck in his throat.
How can I leave my own house? he asked himself, feeling for the first time that justice, morality, decency, and fairness were on his side.
An hour later, Goldstein told him the news.
Oliver looked at Goldstein in disbelief, but he saw no relief in the man’s sad eyes, the hooded lids droopy with the weight of the world’s sins.
‘You’re lying to me,’ Oliver cried, his voice rising, the words reverberating in his mind as if it were a wind tunnel.
‘You can’t blame the bad news on the messenger.’
‘The dirty bitch.’