‘And the kids?’
‘Believe me, I intend to fully discharge my responsibilities.’ She frowned. ‘Now who’s using the kids?’
‘It’s just not clear, Barbara. If I understood it, maybe I could be more tolerant.’
‘I know,’ Barbara said, with what seemed like a hint of compassion. She bit her lip, a normal gesture for her when she was troubled. ‘I’m changed, that’s all. Not the old me. Any explanation sounds cruel. I don’t want to be cruel.’
‘ "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." ’
‘That’s one of them. One of the things I detest so much in you, Oliver. All those literary allusions that forced me to ask for explanations, as if they were a proof of your superiority.’
‘Pardon me for having lived.’
‘Now you’re getting hostile.’
I need you, Goldstein, he shouted to himself, brushing his hands through the air as if that would dispel the conversation. Goldstein had warned him not to deal with her directly. But how could he avoid her, living under the same roof?’
‘Did you truly expect any other response?’ he said quietly.
‘It won’t matter. I have to think of the long pull for myself.’ She stood up and again wiped her hands on her apron. ‘I’m sorry, Oliver. I know it seems selfish. But I have to protect my future.’
‘You’re inhuman,’ he snapped.
‘I can’t help your perception.’
He turned to the library entrance and paused, emptying his mind of false hopes.
‘I don’t intend to leave this house. I don’t intend to give it up. I do intend to fight you every foot of the way, regardless of expense in dollars or emotions. I want this house and everything in it. And I do not intend to lose.’
‘It’s not going to be that simple,’ she said quietly. He marched up the stairs and into the guest room.
As he closed the door, snapping the thumb lock, he decided to put in a better lock, complete with key. From here on in, he told himself, reveling in his belligerence, this is company headquarters.
12
The house was staked out like a battlefield. Ann tried desperately to maintain a scrupulous neutrality lest it affect her own circumstances, although she did not know how long she could hold on in the midst of the unbearable tension.
Barbara and Oliver had installed locks on their respective bedrooms. At first that seemed to Ann unnecessary until she began to observe the extent of their growing hostility. They had separate phones installed as well, leaving one of the original lines intact for the children. The kitchen was hers. He apparently had given up all rights to both the food and the facilities, although she saw a little carton of orange juice on the ledge of the side window of the guest room, conveying an utterly incongruous boarding-house look. He never took his meals at home, and he maintained Benny from a stock of dry dog food he kept in his room. Benny spent the day poking about the neighborhood, continuing his endless service to the local bitches, and returning home by instinct so that he could spend the night sleeping at the foot of Oliver’s bed.
Oliver also retained rights to the maintenance of his orchids. And he continued to spend a great deal of time in his workroom. By silent consent, it was considered his domain. It was there that he generally met with the children and, at times, with Ann, who used the most transparent pretexts to visit. The Ferrari’s special place in the garage was his domain, as well. Sometimes, when feeling very down, he would strip away the Ferrari’s
cover, remove its fiberglass top, and take it out for a brief spin, or he would spend hours tuning it and polishing its body. Allowing him such pursuits required no sacrifice on Barbara’s part. Besides, she was literally working herself at double time to build her catering business. The house was constantly filled with the aroma of her cooking.
Ann was fully aware of her unrequited feelings for Oliver, which prompted even more caution on her part. It was, she knew, downright dangerous to poke one’s head above the shell holes of no-man’s-land. Even the humor of it, the sheer illogic of the process, paled as the days wore on. By force of will, she maintained an observer’s distance, while inside she seethed with a profound and exasperating curiosity.
Every movement in the house became a signpost, every unguarded look a nuance, every stray word a symbol of some impending action. At night she would go over what she had observed during the day, attributing motives, calculating advances or retreats.
She wondered if they observed her inspection and when she felt anxious about this, she retreated further into her pose of indifference. Even the children seemed to have given up. At first they had been slyly trying to effect a reconciliation, but that had quickly dissipated in the face of their parents’ obvious unrelenting hostility and they assumed an air of grudging acceptance and, finally, tolerance.
‘My parents have simply gone crazy,’ Eve told her one night. The announcement seemed in the nature of an epiphany and Ann noted that Eve was spending more time with her friends, less time under her scrutiny. It was pointiess, she decided, to attempt to maintain a more rigid discipline over the children at a time of such trial. Josh found solace in basketball and other sports and, since he had not lost contact with his father, he seemed to be maintaining a business-as-usual equilibrium.
Sometimes she felt uncomfortable about her inspector’s role. It took effort and concentration. And, of course, she had to hide her own interest. Was it possible for Oliver to see in her an alternative? The question gnawed at her and filled her with guilt.
‘You’re awfully quiet,’ Barbara remarked one day.
‘I hadn’t realized,’ Ann responded.
‘I suppose I can’t really blame you. The way things have altered around here.’
It was her first real attempt at self-justification to Ann, who listened quietly, deliberately averting her eyes so they would not betray her. ‘Who can possibly understand but another woman who has undergone the same experiences? You can never really transfer your outrage. The house, in my opinion, is fair compensation. He can have another one just like it in a few short years. Maybe sooner. I can never have it again unless I marry. Then the whole cycle starts again.’
Although she was working harder, she seemed more beautiful than ever, glowing, in fact; a quality totally incongruous, considering her "plight."
‘I’m not competent to judge,’ Ann replied, remembering the undeclared war of her own parents’ married life. She had rarely seen even the most primitive gestures of respect between them. They seemed to survive on a diet of mutual hate. ‘I’m not a good one to ask about married life. My background is very traditional,’ she lied.
‘I know. The husband pulls down a paycheck and the wife cooks, cleans, and fucks.’ Ann had also detected that Barbara had gotten harder, more vocal and intransigent.
Between Oliver and Barbara communication was, in the early days of the new arrangement, nonexistent. Sometimes it was unavoidable, and Ann would hear scraps of conversation that always disintegrated into a rising crescendo of vituperation.
‘I’ll pay all electric and gas bills that can be attributed to normal household operations. Not to your business activities. Those you pay for.’ He had confronted her in the kitchen late one evening. Ann, who was helping to baste a roasting goose while Barbara prepared a batch of baking dough, quickly faded from the scene, far enough to be out of their vision but close enough to hear.
‘How can you calculate the difference?’ Barbara asked sarcastically.
‘I’m having a man come in from the electric and gas companies. If necessary, we’ll put in separate meters.’
‘What about the power from your workroom and the sauna?’