“It is difficult for any man to know the mind of a woman,” Tammad smiled, and the power of his personality was so strong that the captain found himself smiling in return. “It is fortunate that upon Rimilia, all things are as men will them. Are you now able to return us there?”
“Certainly.” The captain nodded, still smiling. “I’ll get immediate clearance for departure.”
This time he kept going when he turned away, pretending not to hear my shout of “Wait!” as he strode toward the corridor that would take him to the command deck. I was furious all over again, furious that the captain refused to hear me—and furious at Tammad’s amusement. He looked down at me where I stood beside him, his blue eyes nearly twinkling, and reached a hand out to touch my hair.
“It is now time to delve into the question of what disturbs you, lama,” he murmured. “But first we must dry ourselves from the rain we passed through.”
“I don’t want to dry myself!” I snapped, knocking his hand away from the sopping string’s of my hair. “And don’t you dare use that word to me! I am not your lama!”
“Not my beloved?” he echoed, surprised and amused. “If you are not my beloved, then what might you be to me?”
“Nothing but a tool,” I answered harshly, feeling the stab of pain again. “A tool you can use to get what you want. If I hadn’t been a Prime, would you have left everything on Rimilia to come chasing after me?”
He started to answer immediately, undoubtedly in the affirmative, but I could sense the hesitation in his mind. If he hadn’t needed me to complete his plans on Rimilia, the thought of coming after me would never have entered his head. I turned away fast to hide my grief, and suddenly came face-to-face with Garth. He stood off to one side of the common area, leaning against a wall to ease his twisted ankle, and the accusation in my stare must have been stronger than I thought. He flinched visibly, as though I’d struck him, and then Tammad’s hand was on my arm again.
“Had you not been a Prime, I would not have had to release you to begin with,” he said, pulling me around to face him again. “Would any have asked my word to release you had you been a wenda of no consequence? Would your people have denied me whatever woman I fancied?”
He stared down at me fiercely, willing me, with his anger, to believe what he said. It was a good show—for someone who couldn’t tell what he really felt.
“No, my people wouldn’t have denied you,” I ground out, shaking my head at him. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t have come after me if I weren’t a Prime. Well, you’ve wasted your time after all. I won’t help you ever again and you have my word on that. And if I’ve learned anything from you, it’s how to keep my word.”
A tremor of frustration ran through him, the sort of impatient anger I’d learned to know so well, an emotion that rarely ever reached his face. He took a breath to immediately calm the feeling, then drew me closer to him.
“You are mistaken in all you have said,” he told me softly, letting his calm patience flow toward me. “You are indeed my beloved, the woman I have ever sought, and I shall not release you. Perhaps some day I will find the means to make you believe this.”
“And while I wait for that day, you think I can be talked into helping you anyway.” I ignored the fluttering inside me he had so purposefully produced. “If that’s what you’re counting on, you might as well forget it. You can’t fool me that way a second time.”
His face and eyes lost their soft, patient look and a breath of vexation hissed out between his teeth.
“Truly, I had forgotten how stubborn a female you are,” he muttered, fighting to cool the anger inside him. “First I will see us both dry, then we may discuss this thing further. I will know what has made your mistrust so great.”
With his band still on my arm, he headed for one of the cabins around the periphery of the common area, naturally pulling me along with him. I wasn’t feeling nearly as brave as my words had suggested, but what else could I have done? He had made a fool of me once; could I have let him do it a second time?
The cabin we entered was no different from any other transport cabin. The large bed was bolted to the deck, as were the two chairs. The drawers of a dresser mew out of a wall, and the floor was covered with a tan and green car pet. Tammad closed the door behind us, finally let my arm go, and walked toward a wall cabinet which usually held towels, beginning to remove his haddin as he went. Beneath the swordbelt, his brown body-cloth was as wet as my suit, and it didn’t take him long to get rid of it. He unstrapped his leather wrist bands, put them on the chair with his swordbelt, then reached for a towel.
“There is at times great comfort to be found in off-wonder possessions,” he said, appreciating the softness of the large towel against his skin. “We on Rimilia have not such cloth as this. Why have you not yet begun to remove your clothing?”
“I told you, I don’t want to,” I muttered, turning away from the sight of him. His bare body was as magnificent as I remembered it, tall and broad, muscles moving silkily beneath the tan of his skin. His blond hair, darkened by tile rain, was as shaggy as ever, but on him it was as appealing as custom styling would be on a man of Central. I couldn’t bear to look at him, let alone imagine his hands on me, but a minute later imagination was unnecessary.
“Have you forgotten so soon?” he murmured, his hand suddenly on my neck beneath my hair. “Must I fetch a switch to remind you of the obedience due him to whom you belong? Remove the clothing and dry yourself.”
“I don’t want to!” I screamed without turning to look at him, then pulled away from his hand and ran to the far corner of the cabin to throw myself to my knees on the carpeting. My head bent to my hands as the sobs shook me again in abject desolation. I didn’t want to take my clothing off, and it didn’t take him long to understand why. n
“Do you truly believe your clothing will keep me from you?” he asked from very near, having followed me across the cabin. His amusement was back, and a strange, unexplained elation. “You have said you do not care for me. If this is so, why do you strive to keep me from you? You have known my use many times before, and surely must have grown used to it.”
“I hate you,” I choked out, really meaning it. I could feel him standing behind me, tall and strong and impossible to deny. I’d wanted him so desperately, had so much wanted to be his, but all he wanted was a Prime.
Then I felt his hands on me again and I screamed, “Not Don’t touch me!” but it didn’t do any good. The scream would have stopped a man from Central, but the barbarian had nothing in common with men from Central. His hand’s loosened my clothing and slowly pulled it off me, while he ignored the fact that my eyes were closed tight, refusing to look at him. I lay on the carpeting in the corner, curled into a ball, shivering less from the coolness of the air recirculation system than from what he had done. He had refused to allow me my way, refused to consider my desires above his; he wanted me because I was a Prime, but he refused to treat me as one. I hated him, I knew I hated him, but that didn’t stop the shivering.
“We must take all the wetness from you,” he said, suddenly covering me with a towel. “I do not wish to see you fall ill again. Why do you continue to doubt my words when I have assured you of their truth?”
His hands were moving around on me above the towel, supposedly drying me, in reality setting me on fire. I hadn’t felt his hands in so long a time, as I was sure he was aware.
“Please don’t touch me,” I whimpered, finally forcing my eyes open to see him crouched so close above me. “Please don’t touch me.”
“Your flesh is as cold as death,” he said, using one hand to push my hair away from my face. “Beneath your clothing, you appear more slender than you were upon Rimilia. Are there none upon your world who concern themselves with your well-being? For one of such great importance, you seem ill cared for.”