“Your place will become more familiar to you as time passes,” he said over my sobs. “I shall do my best to teach you the—flavor of my world, The Murdock McKenzie has sent you writings which you are to study. Do so now”
He stepped away came back to drop a pile of report folders near me, then went to the other end of the bed and lay down. The sobs racked my body the pain of the beating burned at me unceasingly, yet I took the first folder and opened it. If I hadn’t, he might have beaten me again.
I was able to make out that the report dealt with the situation on Rimilia. Although I learned nothing I hadn’t already known, I read it all the way through, then went to the second report. I ached even without trying to move, and felt bewildered and afraid and all alone. For the first time in my life I’d been beaten, and it had been a horrible, alien experience.
The second report contained the statements of those who had gone to Rimilia, and it was their unanimous opinion that Tammad needed nothing more than some expert help in negotiation in order to deal with the other barbarian leaders. The conclusion almost set me sniffling again, because he hadn’t needed any help in dealing with me!
When I put the second report aside, Tammad abruptly stood up from the bed. “I would have my dimral now, woman,” he said with that same, unruffled calm. “You may finish those others later.”
I didn’t look at him, but raised myself painfully from the bed and followed along behind him to my kitchen. He stood aside as I went to the chef and dialed another portion of pimond, then he took the plate I handed him. I turned back to the chef for my own dinner, but his hand was on my arm.
“The writings have not been completed,” he told me. “Go you now and see to them.”
I stared at him for a minute, seeing the unyielding decision on his face, then went miserably back to my bedroom. He wasn’t angry any longer, but I wasn’t to be allowed to eat until I had his permission. The tears started again even before I lay down, making the third report one large blur. I cried and tried to stop crying, peered and tried to begin reading, but it was all too much. I cried and cried, then cried myself to sleep.
3
I opened my eyes to the comfort of my bedcovers around me, but wasn’t ready to get up yet. I shifted position onto my back—and gasped at the soreness. I remembered then what the barbarian had done to me, and I moved my head to look at him. He lay peacefully asleep beside me, his blond head unpillowed, just as though he were the most innocent being ever created. I realized that my clothes were gone again and my hair had been released from the clips that had held it in place, and knew whom I had to thank for the condition.
I shifted the other way onto my side, trying to come up with a positive course of action. The night before I’d been too shocked to do anything more than react, but something had to be done. He couldn’t be allowed to beat me and order me about as if I were his—belonging. I was a Prime, and had my pride to consider.
“Are you refreshed from your long sleep?” Tammad’s voice came suddenly from behind me. “You did not even stir when I placed you beneath the coverings.”
So he was awake now, too. “Beatings are well known for curing insomnia,” I told him coldly keeping my eyes on the lace wall dress. “Perhaps some day you’d care to try it yourself.”
“What need have I of an aid to sleep?” He chuckled, then pulled me around to face him. When I stiffened in his arms, he frowned at me, almost as though he were confused. “I had thought you were now pleased by my touch,” he said, looking down at me. “Why do you again resist me?”
“I haven’t stopped resisting you!” I told him, hands flat against his broad chest. “And how am I supposed to know what your mood is? Am I to welcome you with open arms, only to be greeted with that branch again?”
“You seem to learn very slowly” He sighed, moving me closer to him to stroke my hair. “You were beaten at the end of the last sun for disobeying my word. If you do not disobey me, you will not be beaten. Is this now clear to you?”
“No, it is not!” I answered hotly squirming against that unreasonable giant-strength of his. “You have no right to beat me for any reason! I’m a grown woman and a Prime, and I needn’t listen to anyone!”
“You must now listen to me.” He grinned, putting his hand beneath my hair onto my back. “I do not wish to see you die upon Rimilia, which is all too likely to occur if you fail to obey my word. Beginning with you then would be too late; therefore I have begun with you now. The switch will remind you should you ever forget.”
His hand on my back reached more than just my skin, making me frantic. Desperately I said, “If you ever touch me again—in any way—I won’t help you“ ‘ He was a barbarian and I feared his strength, but more than that I feared that his body would call to mine again. I hated him, hated everything he said and did, but my body didn’t hate his. He had bewitched me somehow, and I didn’t know how to break the spell. I watched him closely and his grin faded to a small smile.
“Then I will have the help of another,” he murmured, pulling me so close I could barely breathe. “You will merely return with me as a green-eyed woman I shall keep—or gift to a friend. Rimilia will then truly be yours.”
He wasn’t joking—I could see he wasn’t joking. I felt sick at the thought and closed my eyes to keep the tears from escaping, but they seeped out anyway and ran down my cheeks to his chest. I didn’t want to obey him, didn’t want to go to Rimilia with him, but if I didn’t obey him he would beat me, if I didn’t help him he would own me. It wasn’t fair, and I began screaming it out loud, beating against him with my fists, over and over, until the rage had evaporated and the tears were left by themselves, then he held me close again and let me cry against him. I cried a long time in the circle of his arms, and he didn’t begin to take me until the tears were gone, but then he took me so completely there was no longer opportunity for tears. His body gave mine what it so desperately wanted, but my exhaustion was so great afterward that I fell asleep again.
When I awoke the second time, I was alone in the bed. I squirmed comfortably in the wrinkled linen and thought about Tammad with a great deal of annoyance. He was so damned difficult to understand that it was almost more than one could be expected to bear. One minute he was beating me terribly, and the next minute he was comforting my tears. How was I supposed to deal with him if I didn’t know what to expect from him next?
And the way he treated me in bed! My body had begun to enjoy such treatment, had begun to demand it! He answered my demands so perfectly that I would likely be ruined forever because of it. Where would I ever find another barbarian on Central?
I sighed at the absurdity of the thought, then got up. Considering that the soreness of the beating and the barbarian’s “love-making” was still very much with me, I would never again seek the company of a barbarian for any reason. They were much too prone to wanting things their own way, which did not agree with my own outlook on life.
I waited for the tub to fill, then stepped into the water. My mirror had shown me my bruises, and I was not at all pleased. There were no breaks in the skin, but it hadn’t been for want of trying. The beast had applied the switch with a will, and I still flinched at the thought of it. If ever I had the opportunity to repay the favor, I would be sure to do so.