“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I tried calling and all I got was static. Then I called back and some guy answered.”
“Just now?” I asked, sitting on the couch. “I’ve been here the whole time.”
“Yeah. Said he was expecting you.”
I shivered in spite of myself. “Weird. What else did he say?”
“Nothing. The line cut out, so I called back and got you.”
For a brief moment, I wondered what it could have been. Was it just a wrong number or something else? But Bill changed the subject. “You know that guy you asked me about…”
My throat constricted. With everything that had been going on, I’d completely forgotten. “Damiel?”
“Yeah. I checked him out. He’s got no birth records, no school records. There aren’t even any death records for him. This guy is totally off the grid. Technically, he doesn’t exist.”
Of course he didn’t exist. He was a demon. A wave of panic pushed at me, but I fought to stay calm. “Wow,” I said. “You checked all that?”
“Yeah, of course.”
What if Damiel knew Bill was looking into him? I didn’t know all he was capable of, but I knew he was dangerous. “Can anyone tell that you did all that? I mean, you won’t get caught, will you?”
“Gee, paranoid much? Shouldn’t I be the one worrying about you?” I could hear the tapping of his fingers on the keyboard. Always multitasking. “Who is this guy?”
“Nobody. Forget about him.” The idea of Damiel getting anywhere near Bill terrified me. “Please?”
Bill stopped typing and when he spoke, he sounded worried. “Hey. He’s not bothering you, is he?”
“No,” I lied. “I’m fine.”
“Stay away from this guy, Mia. I mean it. He sounds like a scumbag.”
If he only knew. “I will,” I said. “I promise.”
A few minutes after Bill and I hung up, the doorbell rang, startling me. Still a little creeped out from my conversation about Damiel, I peeked out the kitchen window and saw Michael.
“Hi,” I said. Rushing to open the door and hug him, I buried my face against his chest and felt the softness of his light gray sweater against my cheek.
“Hey.” Caught off guard, he chuckled, but his body was stiff as he put an arm around me. Was he nervous? “I thought we could finish that walk we started last night. While the rain holds off.”
Chapter Fifteen
He took me to Alki Beach, partly because it was close and partly because it was one of the best places in the area to walk. I liked it there. I especially liked being there with him. By daylight, I could see out over Puget Sound, where the choppy gray water reflected the storm clouds above.
He was right about the rain. It looked as though it would come down any minute, and when I stepped from the car the cold air smelled of ocean, seaweed, and evergreens as it filled my nose. With the exception of a few joggers, the beach was deserted. The tide was low, and acres of rocks, teeming with marine life, stretched out along the shore.
Some of the nearby trees had already started to turn. Half-ochre, half-green, their leaves had dried around the edges, holding onto the memory of life. Others had fallen to the ground. As we walked, Michael seemed to notice them too.
“What was I like? You know…before?” I asked. “Was I different?”
When he turned to me, his eyes were the color of the Mediterranean Sea, and they had a way of looking at me that made me feel equally vast and deep. “What do you remember?”
I closed my eyes and recalled the house we lived in, the glow of sunrise along its walls. But mostly I remembered Michael. The way that being near him made me feel exactly the same as it did now. They were the same images and sensations over and over, no more than the night before, but no less.
I felt the heat of him and opened my eyes to find him standing only a foot away from me. Could he see what I saw?
As though catching himself, he stepped back. “Arielle suggested I spend time with you.”
The mention of her name gave me a twinge in my chest. Obviously they were close. “You saw her last night?”
“Of course. We check in,” he said. Turning, he headed toward the rugged shoreline.
I followed him, my sneakers crunching and slipping on the damp rocks. I had to watch my step. “Why did she suggest you do that?”
“She’s trying to help me.” A gust of wind blew his hair into his face and he lazily pushed it back. “When we first came here, many of us became sick and fell to one of the seven deadly sins—envy, pride, lust. It took me longer. I thought I was different, but I got caught up in it just like the others.”
“Caught up in what?”
“Lust,” he said and flashed me a sideways glance that was positively scorching. The effects rippled all the way down to my knees. As though sensing my reaction, he turned back to the white-capped waves crashing against the shore. “It wasn’t just about sex…” He checked my reaction again, as though expecting me to shy away from him. I didn’t. Hearing him use the words sex and lust made a shudder of want rise within me. “I forgot who and what I was.”
Instead of saying more, he brushed his fingertips along my cheek, and his halo glimmered. I could hear the waves slapping the rocks behind us, the wind driving them in. That same wind whipped against my skin, but the touch of his hand on my face was all I could think about. It sent a current through both of us and filled me with longing for something I wasn’t sure I understood.
“I’m sorry.” He stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets as the light around him faded. “You don’t know what it’s like. Being near you now, remembering those moments we had…” His hair blew into his eyes, but this time he didn’t move. I wanted to brush it back, but I didn’t know how he’d react. Would touching him be bad?
“You want to know who you were?” he asked. “You may look different, but you’re the same. I look into your eyes and see you.” He took in a deep breath, fixing his attention on the horizon. I’d seen and heard so much now that the logical part of my brain had long since given up arguing with me. I could feel what he was saying was true. All of it.
“What was my name?” I asked.
“Sajani.” When he spoke, his voice was a chord, and the sound of my name echoed through me like I was an instrument being strummed. “It means ‘beloved.’”
I drew in a deep, shaky breath, letting in a stream of emotion that practically drenched me. Very gently, he pulled me into a hug. The sound of his voice echoed through his chest as he spoke. “I’m supposed to let you go, but I can’t.”
“Then don’t.”
Placing a finger under my chin, he gazed into my eyes. His were filled with warning. “We can’t…I can’t be with you that way.”
“What way?”
He pressed his lips into my hair and I flushed as I realized what he meant. I wanted to ask why, but didn’t want to say anything that would interrupt this moment. His heartbeat pressed against my cheek as I breathed in the scent of his skin. Out of the corner of my eye, the sparkling glow of his halo surrounded us and a tingle of energy buzzed, stronger than anything I’d ever felt before. It awakened every cell in my body, and I thought if we could just do this, the feeling itself was incredible. Surely this would be enough.
“It’s okay,” I said, leaning to look up at him.
“It’s not really fair to you, to be with you and not be able…” A lock of hair had blown into my face. He tucked it gently behind my ear. “I can never be with you like that, Mia.”
“I don’t care,” I said. The heat of his touch lingered on my skin. “I don’t think I could never have this again and be okay.” My voice broke as I realized how much he meant to me, how much he had always meant.