You lie, he always grinned winningly when she said that. Allegra loved being with them. They were kind, intelligent, happy people, and they made everyone around them feel good.
I want a man like him, she had said once to Dr. Green, and then feared that Dr. Green would get all caught up in Freud, but surprisingly, she hadn't.
I'd say that's a pretty good decision, from what you've told me of your parents' marriage. Do you think you could attract a man like him? Dr. Green had asked her bluntly.
Sure, Allegra said easily, but they both knew she didn't mean it.
Allegra promised to call her mother about dinner on Friday night as soon as she knew her plans, and after that she thought about calling Nicole, and then decided against it. Joanie probably wouldn't like it. So instead, eating a half-eaten yogurt from the fridge, Allegra called Carmen. She sounded completely hysterical, as she always did, whenever a fresh story hit the tabloids. But even she had to agree that this one was silly. They claimed that she had attended an orgy in Las Vegas with her plastic surgeon. Supposedly he had given her a whole new face, new nose, new chin, breast implants, and liposuction.
How could I have done all that? she asked, aghast, still surprisingly naive, and always shocked to realize to what extent people were willing to lie about her. Like all celebrities, people claimed they'd gone to school with her, were best friends with her, had taken trips with her, and of course the number of men claiming to have slept with her were legion. Recently, even two women had made that claim, and Carmen had been reduced to tears over that too. It just seemed incredibly unfair to her that people were so willing to make up stories about her.
It's the price of success, Allegra always reminded her gently, finding it difficult to believe that she was only six years older than Carmen. The young star seemed so naive in so many ways, so unaware of the evil lurking everywhere, and surprised by the extent of the exploitation. She still wanted to believe that everyone was her friend, and no one wanted to hurt her. Except at two A.M., when she easily believed that half of Los Angeles was at her back door and about to break in and rape her. Allegra had hired a live-in housekeeper for her finally, and told Carmen to leave a light on outside her bedroom. She was afraid of the dark, and she was always scared to death of what she couldn't see just beyond her bedroom.
Listen. Allegra reassured her again about the article in Chatter. You're not old enough to have had all that work done.
Do you suppose anyone else will figure that out? All I did was have a mole removed on my forehead, she said miserably, blowing her nose again, thinking of all the things her grandmother had said when she called from Portland. She said that Carmen had shamed them all, and that God would never forgive her.
Of course they'll figure it out. Did you read the next page?
No, why? Carmen asked, stretching her perfect figure out on the couch, as she held the phone and talked to Allegra.
On the next page it probably says that a woman gave birth to identical quintuplets on Mars. And two pages after that a woman gave birth to a monkey on a UFO. If they believe that crap, then who cares if they say you had a face-lift at twenty-three? To hell with them, Carmen. You've got to toughen up a little bit, or they'll drive you crazy.
They are, she said forlornly. They talked for an hour, and finally Allegra hung up and went to take a shower, and by the time she got out and was drying her hair, Brandon pulled into the driveway.
She was at the door in a terry-cloth robe as he came up the walk, her hair was hanging down her back, wet, and her face was scrubbed clean of makeup. In some ways she was even more beautiful than when she was all done up, and he liked it when she looked natural and clean and sexy.
Wow! he said, and then kissed her hello, as he followed her inside and she locked the door behind them. It was ten o'clock at night, and he looked exhausted as he dropped his briefcase in the front hall and put his arms around her. This was definitely worth working late for, he said, kissing her, and slipping a hand inside the terry-cloth robe. She was naked beneath it.
Are you hungry? she asked him between kisses.
Starved, he answered, referring to her, not dinner.
What would you like? she asked, laughing at him, as she entwined her legs around his playfully, and took off his jacket.
Breast, I think ‘ or maybe leg’ . he said hoarsely, and then kissed her again, and a minute later they were sitting on her bed, as he unbuttoned his shirt and looked at her with eyes filled with desire. He looked tired, after his long day, but his spirits didn't seem to be dampened. He didn't even want to talk to her, he just wanted to devour her body.
She helped him take off his shirt, and he slipped out of his pants, and a few minutes later they were both naked, lying on her bed, and making love in the soft lights she had left on. He was totally enraptured with her, and an hour later they both lay spent and pleased, and as she started to drift off to sleep, she felt him get up, and it woke her.
Where are you going? she asked, rolling over and opening an eye to look at him in all his long, tall, blond splendor. They were well matched, and their looks were so similar that sometimes people thought they were brother and sister.
It's late, he said apologetically, slowly gathering up his clothes from the floor of her bedroom.
Are you going home? She looked surprised, as she sat up and stared at him. He seemed embarrassed when she asked him the question. They hadn't even talked to each other. All they'd done was make love, and fall asleep. And she didn't want him to leave her.
I thought ‘ I have to go in really early tomorrow, and I didn't want to wake you. He looked awkward, but anxious to leave. He did that often.
What difference does it make if you have to get up early? So do I. She seemed hurt by his defection. You have clean shirts here. I have to be up early too. It's nice when we sleep together. It was nice, and she knew he liked it, but she knew that he also liked going home to his own apartment. He liked his own space, his own things; he had told her several times over the past two years that he liked waking up in his own bed, and yet they seldom made love at his place. He always seemed to come here, to her house, but at least half the time he liked going back to his own apartment. In an odd way, it sometimes made her feel used, and discarded, and it was a particularly lonely feeling after he was gone and she was alone in her own house. For some odd reason, she had told her therapist, it made her feel abandoned. But she didn't like being put in the position of begging him, and she didn't want to push him now if he didn't want to stay. She was just very disappointed. I'd like it if you stayed, Brandon, she said quietly, but she didn't say anything more as he finally went to shower, and then came back to bed. To Brandon it seemed easier to stay the night than argue.
And as they lay together that night, Allegra smiled at him. There may have been some things to work out in their relationship, like his divorce and his preference for sleeping alone, but there was no doubt in her mind that she loved him.
Thanks for staying here, she said softly, as she lay in his arms, and he gently touched her cheek, and then kissed her. And a moment later, he was snoring.
Chapter 2
Allegra got up the next morning before the alarm went off at six-fifteen. That was the time Brandon had set it for. He got up and went to brush his teeth and shave, while she walked out to the kitchen naked, to make coffee.
He was at the breakfast table, fully dressed, by six forty-five, and she put two blueberry muffins in front of him, and a steaming cup of coffee.
Great service at this restaurant, he said, looking pleased. And I love what the servers wear, he said, admiring her body as she sat down across the table from him, still naked.
You look pretty good too, she said, admiring his dark gray suit. He bought everything he wore at Brooks Brothers, and every now and then she tried wandering him through Armani on Rodeo Drive, hoping to jazz him up a little. But that wasn't Brandon's look at all. He was pure Wall Street. I'd say you look pretty damn great for this hour of the morning. She grinned through a yawn, and poured herself a cup of coffee. She didn't have to be at her office till nine-thirty. What are we doing tonight, by the way? she asked. She'd been invited to a premiere, and she wasn't sure if he could go, with his trial to prepare. She doubted it, and she didn't really want to go either.