How did you ever stand it here, Jeff? She's not exactly open or warm, or easy to deal with.
She used to be, he tried to defend her, or at least a little bit more anyway. She got all closed up when my father died she was miserable without him. But Allegra could never imagine her much more open than she was now. She was a viper.
Weren't you lonely being with her? Allegra couldn't imagine how he stood it.
Sometimes. One gets used to it. Her whole family was like that. They're all gone now.
What did they do when they got together, make ice cubes?
She's not as bad as all that, he said, zipping up Allegra's black linen dress, just as his mother knocked, and he knew he shouldn't be there. He slipped into the bathroom after signaling Allegra not to give him away. And she opened the door to his mother, who had come to tell her dinner was served, and perhaps to atone for her earlier comments, she told Allegra she looked very pretty. The truth was she liked her much better now that she knew her real name wasn't Steinberg.
Allegra followed her downstairs to dinner, and Jeff seemed to appear from nowhere. And miraculously, they survived the dinner, mostly by staying on safe subjects, like art, and European travel, and opera. It was the most boring conversation Allegra thought she'd ever had, and fortunately after dinner, Mrs. Hamilton went to bed. That night they went out to the beach and swam, and then they lay on the sand, and he held her.
You haven't had much fun here, have you?
She rolled over on her back and sighed in the moonlight. Did he want her to be honest or not? She was quiet while she was deciding.
It was different. It was the most diplomatic thing she could think of.
Very different from your family, he acknowledged. He felt guilty now for having brought her, but she did have to meet his mother. Your family is so warm and affectionate and outgoing. Everyone's always talking and laughing, and telling some crazy story. I loved being with them from the first moment I met them. He looked ashamed now of his mother. Even he had to admit that she'd been awful to Allegra. But looking at him, seeing how badly he felt, she suddenly didn't mind it.
She reminds me a lot of my father. I don't mean that nastily. But it's that same Eastern, uptight, upper-class inability to feel or express or give. It's all about constant disapproval. He has never approved of me once in my entire life. And it used to kill me. Now I don't care. And she's the same way. I would have to fight and beg and crawl for her approval, if I wanted it, and I'd probably never get it. All the fun for those people is in the withholding. It's a special art. And she's got it down pat, just like he does.
She used to be hard on me too, but nothing like she was with you this weekend. I've never seen her like this, he confessed, miserable about how his mother had behaved with his fianc+¬e.
I'm a big threat, Allegra reminded him. I've stolen you away from New York, and now from her. She doesn't have much else. It was understandable, but it didn't make Allegra like her any better. Maybe she'll warm up later, she said, more to cheer Jeff up than because she believed it.
They slept in the pink guest room together again that night, but this time he set his alarm for seven-thirty, and went back to his own bedroom where he showered and dressed and then packed. And then he woke Allegra. Enough was enough. They had done what they came for. He had booked them on an early flight. And after he got Allegra down to breakfast in her seersucker pantsuit, he told both women that they were leaving. He said they had to be on a one-o'clock flight, which meant they had to leave Southampton at ten o'clock that morning. He explained to them that he had called the director and they were having trouble with the movie, so Jeff had to return early.
What's wrong? Allegra asked, looking upset for him. She had slept like a baby, and she felt resilient again, and able to take more abuse from his mother. But as soon as she left the room, Jeff whispered to Allegra that they were leaving because they'd been there long enough and they had done their duty. Even he couldn't stand it a moment longer.
Are you sure? she whispered, leaning over the cinnamon rolls, and he nodded. She didn't want to tear him away from his mother, but he was far more anxious to leave than she was.
As they left, Jeff gave his mother the wedding date again, and told her they were expecting to see her there. And Jeff hugged her tight, and she almost responded but not quite, and he gave a little bonus to Lizzie, and then Allegra almost fell over laughing when she saw the car come for them. He had ordered the longest limousine they had. It was long and white, and it had a bar, TV, and God only knew what else inside, and Mrs. Hamilton looked as though she wanted to die rather than have it in her driveway. But Jeff looked quite happy about it.
We use them all the time in California, Mom. We'll try and get you one for the wedding, he said with a straight face as he kissed her good-bye again. He handed their bags to the driver, and then they took off with a last wave, and she stood, looking like a tragic figure in her driveway. Allegra had understood correctly that she was the loneliest woman alive, but she was also the meanest. And to Allegra, she wasn't worth the trouble.
Jeff had a history with her, but Allegra knew she never would. And she also knew that after this weekend Jeff would never push her to it. They had done their best, they had paid their respects, but it was hopeless.
I was thinking, Jeff said quietly, as they drove back toward the expressway, maybe we should have yarmulkes at the wedding.
You're disgusting and irreverent. ‘ Will you stop? And how could you get this car? She laughed at him. Have you no respect for anything? She accused, but they were both laughing and he was kissing her, and he was dying to get her home and make love to her. Only his real sense of propriety kept him from making love to her in the outrageous white limo.
But they both acknowledged silently, by the way they clung to each other and the way they cuddled, that it had been a hideous weekend.
I'm sorry, Allegra. I don't know why I didn't realize what it would be like. I must have had denial. Maybe I should go to Dr. Green for a while, to pay penance.
I think it's remarkable you survived her for all these years, Allegra said admiringly. Mary Hamilton was the coldest woman she'd ever met. And Jeff was completely different.
I've never paid a lot of attention to her, and my father was a lot like Simon.
That must have saved you, she said matter-of-factly.
They talked about other things all the way back, and they both wanted to kneel and kiss the ground when they got back to California, not to mention when they got to Malibu. And the first thing they did was tear each other's clothes off. They never even made it into bed and wound up on the couch in the living room, and he had never made love to her with such fervor. The repressive atmosphere they'd been in for two days had almost driven them crazy. And Allegra had never been as happy in her life, to be home again, to be away from there, and for a while anyway, to have seen the last of his mother.
Chapter 17
On Monday morning, after their weekend in New York, Jeff left for the set at three A.M., as usual, and Allegra went through a stack of faxes and papers. They were both in high spirits and happy to be back, especially after the night before. But Allegra frowned when she came across an urgent fax from Carmen's producer. He said that she was so depressed she could barely function on the set. And on Friday, she had gone completely berserk over the story in the tabloids about the abortion.
It was six o'clock by the time Allegra read the fax, and she knew that Carmen would already be on the set by then, or was supposed to be, and Allegra decided to drive over and see her.