She had a pleasant waiting room with artistic prints all done in cheerful colors, and there were stacks of magazines. There were two kinds: World of Interiors, Parenting Magazine, Vogue, Connaissance des Arts, Town & Country, Architectural Digest for the prospective parents, and Seventeen, Rolling Stone, Elle, Young and Modern, and even Mad for the mothers. But neither Allegra nor Sam chose a magazine, they just sat there and waited. And five minutes later, the receptionist asked them to come in. The couple from Chicago were already with Miss Pearlman.
But as soon as Sam saw them, she knew she didn't like them. They were nervous around her, and they talked a lot about the trips they liked to go on, their skiing, and their last trip to Europe. She was a flight attendant, and he was in insurance, and covered a large block of the Midwest. They didn't have kids, and they had tried in vitro fertilization, but it was too expensive in the long run, and they were tired of trying. They were stories Sam had heard a lot now.
What are you going to do with the baby when you travel? Sam asked them with a look of curiosity.
Leave it with a baby-sitter, the husband said.
Hire a nanny, the wife offered.
Why adopt a baby? Sam went right to the point, not unlike her older sister, and Allegra smiled as she watched her.
I'm thirty-eight, Janet's thirty-five, we both think it's time, he said, as though they were talking about buying a car. All our friends have kids, we live in the suburbs. They lived in Naperville, but none of that appeared to be reason enough to Sam to give them her baby. They were anything but appealing.
But do you really want one? She pressed on, and she could see that they were getting really uncomfortable with her questions.
If we didn't, we wouldn't be here, Janet said, trying to warm up to the girl, but not getting very far. They didn't like Sam either. She looked like a valley girl to them, and she seemed really pushy with her questions.
We get free tickets from the airline. We came out here for nothing, Paul said, as Sam looked at Allegra.
Are there any other questions you'd like to ask? Suzanne asked Sam. She could see that the interview wasn't going well and that Sam didn't like them.
No, I think that's fine, Sam said politely, and they went to wait in her other office. A few minutes later Suzanne came in to talk candidly to Sam and Allegra.
I hate them, Sam said bluntly the minute Suzanne walked into the room.
No kidding, Suzanne said, and laughed, lightening the moment. I figured that out myself. Why? Although she knew that too, but she was just checking.
They don't want a baby. They should buy a dog. They want to travel all the time, they get free airline tickets, they're going to dump it at the babysitter's, and they just want a kid because everyone else in the suburbs has one. Why don't they just move into the city and forget it? She was sharp. There were a lot of people out there who thought they wanted babies and really didn't. They wanted a sense of completion, or fulfillment; they wanted to put their marriage back together, or feel young again. They wanted a lot of things, but not a baby. And for them, having a baby or adopting one should not be the answer.
I won't give my baby to them, Sam said definitely, and Allegra flinched as she listened. Sam's pregnancy had suddenly become her baby. It was far more real now, and she was deeply attached to it, even if she pretended she wasn't.
I understand that, Suzanne said calmly. What about the Whitmans in Santa Barbara? They're very interested in you, Sam. They'd really like to pursue it.
I like them the best so far, she admitted, but I'm still thinking. It was like trying to put together a major movie deal with a seventeen-year-old producer, sometimes fifteen or even fourteen. Allegra was suddenly glad this wasn't her line of business.
What are you thinking about? Suzanne asked her.
I'm trying to decide if I really like them.
Why are you hesitating? This was what Suzanne was so good at. The mix and match of relinquishing mothers and adoptive parents.
I don't know, they're kind of old, Sam said honestly. They were both in their late thirties and they had never been able to have children.
They've had a lot of bad luck, Suzanne explained, more for Allegra's sake than Sam's. Sam knew this. She had come alone with her mother last time. Although Allegra usually tried to come with her, Blaire had come twice, and Simon hadn't come at all. He just couldn't do it. The prospect of his baby having one, and then giving it up on top of it, just broke his heart. He didn't want to hear it. Just seeing her right now was hard enough. She looked so swollen, like a little grape, and yet at the same time she was still so pretty, in some ways more so. Her face had filled out a little bit, and there was a softness to it that really made her look lovely.
The Whitmans are an unusual couple, Suzanne went on to explain in detail. They've had more bad luck than any adopting couple I've ever heard of. They tried to adopt two babies who were reclaimed by their natural parents before the adoptions were official. That was over ten years ago, and they decided not to try again. And then with the new technologies, they tried to get pregnant again. She's had fourteen miscarriages, and a stillbirth. Now they want to adopt again, and I really have to give them credit. But after all that, they're not quite as young as some of our adopting parents are, Sam. Maybe that's not such a terrible thing. Personally, I really like them. I think they've got an awful lot of spirit. But they were the kind of people Suzanne particularly did not want to play with. She didn't want to offer people like that babies whom mothers might eventually take back. That's why she had asked Allegra, right at the beginning, if Sam was sure about giving up her baby. But Sam was definite about it now. She had talked to Jimmy about it too. And she felt she had no other options.
Jimmy was still around a lot these days. But in her current state, her parents saw no objection to it. Sam needed friends, and Jimmy was a nice, solid boy who offered her nothing more than his friendship. He thought it was really sad that she had to give up the baby, and he said so.
What about the Whitmans then? Would you like to see them again?
Maybe. Sam was noncommittal. She had her dark glasses high on her head, and she looked like a chubby little princess. Her stomach was large and round, her legs and arms were still rail thin, and despite the bulge, she was still very graceful.
Katherine Whitman would like to be at the delivery with you, if you choose them.
Why? Sam thought that sounded disgusting.
Because she wants to see the baby born, and bond with it immediately. A lot of couples like to do that. Would you object to having John there too? He said he'd like it, but for him, it's an option. It made Allegra uncomfortable to listen to all these deals and conditions. It really was a business.
I don't want him there. I'll think about her.
John could be up near your head, where he won't see anything. She pressed just a little too hard and Sam snapped at her.
No! I don't want him there. I told you.
Okay. No problem. So who have we narrowed it down to then? It exhausted Allegra emotionally just to listen.
I think just the Whitmans, Sam said sadly. She hated coming here. It was so depressing. There was just no way out. She had to give them the baby. The only thing to decide now were the details.
Are you going to the doctor regularly? Suzanne went down her checklist. Sam hated that part too, but she understood it. Taking your vitamins? Not taking drugs? Have you had sex recently? Sam glared at her, but answered all the appropriate questions. She went to the doctor, took her vitamins, had never taken drugs, did not drink currently, not even beer or wine, and had not had sex since she'd gotten pregnant. She was every adoptive parent's dream. And Suzanne didn't tell her, because she didn't want to pressure her, but the Whitmans were desperate for her baby. She thought there was a better chance of things going well for them, if they played it low-key with Sam. She wasn't the kind of girl who responded well to pressure. Suzanne never pushed her. She let her come to it by herself, and make all her own decisions. And she had told the Whitmans that they had to be patient and wait for Sam's decision. She even encouraged them to pursue some other avenues, and talk to some other girls, so they wouldn't be disappointed if Sam chose other parents. Sam was clearly not enthused at their being older.