Of course. Just listening to him, she felt her whole body go tense. Jeff had just walked into the room, and when he saw her face, he couldn't help wondering who had called her. For an odd instant, he wondered if it was Brandon. He had sent her a little note a few weeks before, implying that he would have married her eventually, and making a point of telling her that he'd finally divorced Joanie. He even had the nerve to tell her to call him for lunch sometime, and after showing it to Jeff, she had tossed it in the garbage.
Something wrong? he asked, concerned, but she shook her head, and he went back to do some work in his office.
Do you still want me to come out? her father asked. She didn't remember asking him, but she knew she probably had in her letter. She thought she had just told him she was getting married.
I don't imagine it would mean anything to you, she said, explaining her letter to him. It's not as though we have much contact with each other anymore. It was partially a reproach, and in part just a statement.
You're still my daughter, Allegra. I'm taking a little time off here, and I was thinking about it the other day. If you'd like me to, I could come out for your wedding. She didn't like him to, and she couldn't see the point of it, but she had asked him almost three months before. She wished she hadn't. She wished she had never told him at all. And she wanted to ask why he wanted to come to her wedding now. After all these years, after all his criticism of them, all his rejection of her, what difference did it make if she was getting married?
You're sure it's not too much trouble? she said awkwardly, feeling years drop away from her. He always made her feel like the rejected child she had been.
Not at all. It's not every day I get the opportunity to walk my daughter down the aisle. After all, you're my only child. As she listened to him, her mouth almost dropped open. What had she said to him? How could he possibly have interpreted it that way? She had no intention of walking down the aisle with him. He had never been there for her. Ever. And she was walking down the aisle with Simon, who had been.
I ‘ uh ‘ Words failed her, and she couldn't bring herself to tell him that she didn't expect him to walk her down the aisle, but before she could say anything, he told her that he'd be arriving from Boston sometime Friday afternoon, the day of the rehearsal dinner. He was going to stay at the Bel Air. Shit, she muttered to herself as she hung up, and dialed her mother frantically. The whole wedding ordeal had been an agony and she couldn't believe what had just happened. She had two fathers expecting to walk her down the aisle, one of whom she hated.
Simon answered the phone on the second ring, and he sounded strangely calm. Allegra knew that voice, and it usually meant something was seriously wrong, but she had had her own problems that night, and she didn't pick up on it. She just hastily asked to talk to her mother.
She's busy just now, he said very quietly. Can she call you back?
No. I need to talk to her right now. Allie, she can't, he said, sounding firm, and then suddenly she noticed the tone of his voice. It was scary.
Is something wrong, Dad? Is she sick? That was all she needed now, her mother gravely ill before this nightmare wedding they'd forced on her, with that freak, Delilah, flapping around instead of her mother. Where is she?
She's right here, he said, patting his wife's arm. She's a little upset, he said gently. She'd been crying for the last hour, and he raised an eyebrow at her, asking if it was all right to tell, and she nodded. It would be easier, in fact, for him to tell them all. We just got a call from Tony Garcia at the network an hour ago. They're going to cancel your mother's show. They're going to do a big finale and run it in a few weeks, and then they're off the air. After nearly ten years, it was a huge blow to Blaire. She felt as though she had lost an old friend, and she had been crying since she heard it.
Poor Mom, Allegra said. How's she taking it?
Pretty hard. Simon was honest.
Can I talk to her? she asked hesitantly, but when he consulted with Blaire, she said she'd call Allegra later.
Allegra hung up, looking pensive, and thinking of her mother. She had worked so hard, and had had so many victories with that show. It had been a real accomplishment for a long time, and now it was over. She could just imagine how her mother felt, and her heart went out to her.
Something wrong? Jeff had drifted by and seen the look on her face. She looked like she'd had bad news, and he stopped to ask her about it.
They just canceled my mother's show. It was a somber announcement, and in some ways it hadn't sunk in yet. Buddies was so much a part of her mother's life, she couldn't even imagine her without it. And now she would have to rush to make the last episode. It was terrible timing, with Allegra's wedding.
I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff said sympathetically. She's looked preoccupied for a while; I wonder if she knew.
It's funny, Allegra said. I thought she looked better for the past few weeks. And in fact she had, since her rapprochement with Simon. She seemed happier and less distracted. Maybe she wasn't feeling well. Anyway, Dad says she's really taking it hard. Maybe I should go over to see her. And then she told him about the call from her father, about his unexpected appearance at her wedding. She hadn't even expected to hear from him anymore. She had forgotten all about her letter. He's actually expecting to walk me down the aisle. Can you believe that? After all these years, he really thinks I'd let him do that. He must think I'm incredibly stupid.
Maybe he thinks that's what you expect of him. Maybe he doesn't know how to act with you anymore either. It could be that he's changed. You should give him a chance, and at least talk to him while he's out here. Like Simon, Jeff always tried to be fair, but Allegra was outraged by his suggestion.
Are you kidding? When do you think I'm going to have time for a talk like that, two days before our wedding?
Maybe it's worth it for you to make time. He had a major impact on your life, Allegra. And in a way, on their marriage. Jeff thought acknowledging that was important.
It's not worth my while even seeing him, Jeff. I'm sorry I ever wrote him. She was steaming at Jeff for suggesting she should give him a chance, and at her father for being so presumptuous.
You're awfully hard on the guy, Jeff said quietly. He is coming out, and you invited him. It sounds like he's trying.
Trying to do what? It's too late anyway. I'm thirty years old, and I don't need a father.
You must, or you wouldn't have written to him in the first place. Don't you think it's time you resolved things between you? I think this is as good a time as any, kind of an end and a beginning.
You don't know anything about it, she exploded at him, storming across the room as she paced. She couldn't believe he was telling her to give her father a chance, after he'd always been a bastard to her. You have no idea what it was like after my brother died, the way he drank, the way he slapped my mother around, the way he treated us after we left and came to California. He never forgave my mother for leaving him, and he took it out on me all my life. He hated me. He was probably sorry I didn't die instead of Patrick. Paddy would probably have been a doctor like him. She was sobbing as he came to her, all her fears and inadequacies and terrors hanging all over her, like laundry on a clothesline.
Maybe that's what you need to talk to him about, Jeff suggested gently as he approached her. What was he like before your brother died, if you can remember?
Okay, but he was always kind of cold, and he was very busy. He reminds me a lot of your mother, unable to open up and reach out and relate to anyone else, not very human, she said candidly, and then looked at him in embarrassment. Although they both acknowledged that the weekend in Southampton had been horrible, she had never openly criticized his mother to him.