His eyes kindled. ‘Didn’t it?’
‘Hey, it’s been four years. How long can a woman live like a nun? You’re an attractive man. OK, I was tempted. Haven’t you ever been tempted even while one part of your mind was saying, Better not?’
‘Oh, yes,’ he said ironically. ‘That just about describes my state of mind since the day we met. You’ve had “better not” written all over you, but I like risks.’
‘So you took one, and it was nice, but now we’ve both come to our senses-’
‘Have we?’ he asked raggedly.
‘Well, unless you want to be marched up the aisle at the point of Netta’s shotgun-’ A thought seemed to occur to her. ‘Oh, Luke, I’m sorry. Are you saying you want to marry me? I never thought-’
‘Of course not,’ he said quickly. ‘That is-I don’t mean to be rude but-’
‘Neither do I, but!’ she broke in quickly. ‘That’s the whole point, isn’t it? But! Two people kiss and it doesn’t mean anything. Let’s keep it that way. I just hope-’
With a convincing air of sudden alarm she dashed to the window to check the curtains.
‘Lucky they were drawn,’ she said. ‘Nobody can have looked in. Just a moment-’
She made a play of opening the front door and looking out on to the staircase.
‘Nobody there,’ she said, returning and locking the door. ‘We’ve got away with it. Our secret is safe.’
She turned out her hands with a bright air, as if saying, You see?
‘Well, thank goodness for that,’ Luke said, rallying and matching her apparent mood. ‘Thanks for warning me.’
Hell would freeze over before he let her suspect how far he felt from laughing.
After that they were both glad to bring the evening to an end. They smiled and assured each other that it was all a good joke, and escaped each other as soon as possible.
Luke sat up for a long time, brooding in the darkness, wondering if his pain-killers were to blame for what was happening. They were strong, and he sometimes felt that they caused his thoughts to go astray. What else could account for the sudden blazing moment of illumination that had come on him with the discovery of Netta’s plan?
He didn’t want to laugh. He wanted to say that Netta was the wisest woman in the world. He wanted to seize Minnie’s hand and jump into the deep end with her at once.
But, as a sensible man, he would resist this craziness, and hope that a night’s sleep would return him to normal.
When Netta learned that she was to have a new boiler the upshot was predictable. Overjoyed, she immediately announced a party.
‘Why not wait until the boiler’s installed?’ Minnie asked.
‘Silly girl, we’ll have another party then,’ Netta chided her.
‘Of course, I should have thought of that.’
‘Yes, you should,’ Luke agreed. ‘Even I could see that coming.’
Netta drew Minnie out on to the staircase, well out of earshot, to ask, ‘How is everything going?’
‘It isn’t,’ Minnie said, adding defiantly, ‘we’re like brother and sister.’
Netta was horrified. ‘He hasn’t-?’
‘No, he hasn’t.’
‘Then you’re not trying hard enough,’ Netta declared, and departed in high dudgeon.
Minnie didn’t immediately return inside. To have told Netta the truth would have been impossible. She was no green girl but a woman who’d experienced years of passionate love. Yet that one kiss had left her thunderstruck. It might have been the first kiss of her life, so disorientated had it make her feel.
Everything about Luke that antagonised her at other times-his power, his determination and masculine forcefulness-had been transmuted into fierce excitement the moment his lips had touched hers. It was like dealing with two men, one who could drive her to a passion of anger and opposition, and one who could thrill her to the depths, making her yearn to become one with him.
But they weren’t two men. They were one. And the confusion was driving her crazy.
In desperation she’d revealed Netta’s plan so that they could laugh about it together. It had partly worked, but it did nothing to help the feelings that coursed through her at the thought of him, especially at night.
Darkness had fallen. All over the courtyard, lights glowed out of the windows on to the geraniums, illuminating flashes of colour. Looking up, she saw the building winding upward until it seemed to reach a disc of sky where stars wheeled and circled before vanishing into infinity.
How often, after Gianni’s death, had she looked wistfully at that infinity? Now it merely seemed cold and bleak, and she hurried back inside to where Luke was waiting, maddening and impossible, but somehow comforting.
The party was the following evening, and the first hour went as she had expected, with Luke being hailed as everyone’s saviour. He grinned at her.
‘Try not to look as though you’ve swallowed a hedgehog,’ he murmured.
‘Don’t be so unfair. You’ve earned this, and I don’t grudge you a moment of your popularity.’
‘Liar,’ he murmured in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her neck.
But soon after this she began to realise that something was wrong with him. His mouth had grown tense and his forehead was wet. Moving quietly, she slid beside him, firmly dislodging the young female who was flirting with him.
‘Time to go home,’ she murmured.
‘Nonsense, I’m fine.’
‘You’re not fine, you’re in pain. And like a good mother hen I’m going to take you home.’
He nodded and didn’t try to argue any more. Minnie said a word to Netta, then guided him firmly out of the room and down the stairs to home.
‘You know what they’re saying back there now, don’t you?’ he asked with grim humour.
‘After seeing us leave early, you mean?’
‘Yes. Netta will expect an announcement tomorrow. What will you say to her?’
‘Nothing, I’ll just smile enigmatically. It’ll drive her mad.’
He gave a grunt of laughter and indicated his bandaged right hand and arm. ‘Look at me. How does she imagine that I could-?’
‘Like a hedgehog, very carefully.’
He laughed again and winced at the effort. When they were safely in the flat he collapsed on to the sofa.
‘Why didn’t you say you were in pain?’ she demanded.
‘Damn fool pride, I suppose. I’ve been practising exercises with my arm. I may have overdone it a bit.’
‘More than a bit. Have you taken your pain-killers?’
‘No, I thought it was time I tried to manage without them.’
‘Damn fool pride is right. Let the doctors decide that.’
She brought him a glass of mineral water and two of his pills, which he swallowed gratefully.
‘I think you should go to bed,’ she said. ‘Come on, I’ll help you.’
He put an arm around her shoulders and together they went into the bedroom. With impersonal hands she undressed him down to his shorts, helped to ease him on to the pillows, and drew the duvet up over him.
‘Sorry,’ he said with a sigh.
‘Don’t be silly,’ she said, sitting on the bed beside him. ‘It’s partly my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go to that party.’
‘Think you could have stopped me?’
‘I could have knocked you out.’
‘Nah! Never repeat yourself.’
She smiled at his game attempt at humour. ‘Shall I go away and let you sleep?’
‘No, stay and talk to me,’ he whispered.
‘What about?’
‘Did you really say it?’
‘Say what?’ she asked, puzzled.
He was silent and she thought he must have fallen asleep, but then, still with his eyes closed, he said, ‘Not again!’
‘Luke-?’
He opened his eyes.
‘You said, “Oh, God, not again!” Or did I dream that? I was pretty much out of it, but I thought I heard you.’
Now she knew what he meant. In the shock of seeing him lying on the floor, covered in blood, she’d gathered him in her arms and had felt herself wrenched back to that other time. For a terrible moment she hadn’t known which of them she held.