‘I knew you’d seen me, with the truth written all over me, and I hated you for it.’
‘Don’t hate me,’ he begged. ‘Minnie don’t-don’t, please-’
‘How can I ever hate you? I’ve trusted you with something that nobody else in the world knows, and I still don’t understand why.’
She spoke like a puzzled child and he knew a sudden surge of protectiveness.
‘Because you know in your heart that you can trust me,’ he said. ‘I’m your friend, and I won’t let you down. I’m here to take care of you.’
‘It’s supposed to be me looking after you,’ she said, changing her position so that she could prop herself on her elbows and look directly at him.
Her face was still ravaged, and running with tears that she no longer seemed to notice. He stroked his fingers tentatively over her cheeks.
‘We’ll have to look after each other,’ he said fondly, ‘in different ways.’
‘Can I get you anything before you settle down for the night?’ she asked. She gave a little choke and tried to pull herself together.
‘No, I’m all right. The pills are working now. But what about you? I don’t think you’re all right.’
‘I’m fine, honestly. Sorry I made such a fuss.’
‘You’re not making a fuss. Your whole life is going to be ruined if we can’t make this go away.’
‘It’ll never go away,’ she said simply. ‘It’ll always be there, and the only way I can cope is to live with it.’
‘But live with it how? By being overwhelmed with guilt? Minnie, you can’t spend your life atoning for something that wasn’t your fault.’
‘Why not? His life was taken away from him because of me. What right do I have to a life?’
‘Or to happiness?’ he asked angrily. ‘Or to love? His life was his life, and it’s over. You can’t prolong it by sacrificing the rest of yours.’
She shook her head and tried to pull away, but he held on to her.
‘Minnie-’
‘Let me go, I shouldn’t have told you.’
‘Yes, you should, because I’m the one person who can let the light of day into this. Trust me, Minnie!’
His voice was commanding and imploring at the same time, because something told him they were at a turning point and everything hung on this moment. She had turned to him but now she was turning away, and he knew he mustn’t let it happen.
Suddenly she went limp, as though all the fight had gone out of her, and he was able to draw her against him again.
‘Stay here,’ he said, commanding now. ‘You don’t need to fetch me anything, so stay with me.’
‘All right,’ she said in a muffled voice. ‘Just for a few minutes.’
He could feel her body relaxing against him, as though she’d just found something she was waiting for, and in another moment she was asleep.
For a while he listened to her steady breathing, scarcely daring to hope that she had finally found a little peace. He wished he could see her face, but it was enough that she lay there, content and unafraid, in his arms.
He could almost have laughed to think how he’d yearned to have her in his bed, her body pressed against his. Now he had his wish, while at the same time being further away from it than ever. Yet he’d been granted something else, infinitely more sweet and precious, and full of hope.
His good arm ached from being trapped in one position, but nothing would have made him move and disturb her. So he stayed as he was, drifting slowly off to sleep, until he awoke in the small hours to find that the arm was numb, and she hadn’t moved by so much as an inch.
Minnie’s first sight on waking was the window of her bedroom, just as it had always been. But as memory came back she realised that she was in the wrong place. She should be sleeping in the spare room.
Only then did she become aware of Luke’s body pressed against hers, his warmth reaching her through the thickness of the duvet that was between them, his good arm beneath her, his bad arm covering her protectively.
Moving carefully, she raised herself and turned, to find him regarding her from sleepy eyes, just as she’d last seen him before she’d fallen asleep. It was as though he hadn’t slept at all, but had spent the night watching over her.
‘Are you all right?’ were his first words.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said, realising that it was true. ‘Goodness, is that the time?’
It was seven in the morning. Reluctantly, she disentangled herself and rose from the bed, wandering out of the room, too preoccupied to think where she was going. She realised that she was still fully dressed, and memories of the night before began to come back to her.
She had brought him home to look after him, but somehow he’d ended up looking after her. He’d done what nobody else could do, had drawn her agonising secret from her into the light of day, had given her a feeling of peace and strength that she hadn’t known for four years.
But it was more than that. In his arms she’d slept like a baby, with no dreams, and this morning she felt well and strong. A healing had begun in her, and that it should be Luke, of all people, who’d brought it about, filled her with wonder.
Most wondrous of all was the fact that he’d held her all night without making a single move that couldn’t have been made by a brother, or a nurse. She’d been deeply asleep, but instinct told her that she’d been safe and protected in his arms.
He didn’t try to make love to me, she thought, smiling. That’s the best thing of all, but nobody else would understand.
He’d said, ‘Your whole life is going to be ruined if we can’t make this go away.’
We! Not you, but we-the two of us, acting together as friends and allies.
She went to look out of the window on to the staircase where there were already signs of life. Behind her she could hear Luke moving about until he finally joined her. He was moving his left arm gingerly.
‘I’m sorry. Did I keep it trapped all night?’ she said fondly.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll regain the use of it one day soon.’
They laughed together, and the warmth she felt was quite different from the sensual excitement of kissing him. It was the warmth of safety, and it made her realise anew how long she’d been without it.
Over breakfast he said, ‘I wish you didn’t have to go out today.’
It was a casual friendly remark, but it carried a new meaning now. She, too, was reluctant to step outside the magic circle they had created.
‘I wish I didn’t, too. But I’ve got a big trial coming up. I’m defending someone in a case that should never have been brought in the first place. It’s a try-on. They’re hoping to scare him into paying them off, and I’m not going to let them.’
‘So you’re going into battle?’ he said.
‘That’s right. And I may not be very good company when I’m here, so-’
‘Minnie, it’s all right,’ he said quickly. ‘You’ve promised to defend this man and you should give it all you’ve got.’
Her smile was full of relief, and it hurt him to see it.
He used her absence to make some urgent calls, several to the bank and one to a man the bank had found for him. His name was Eduardo Viccini. He called on Luke that afternoon, and they spent several hours going through papers and discussing tactics.
He had expected Minnie to be late following her day in court, but she was home for supper, and only just missed the visitor by minutes. Luke breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t ready for Minnie to meet Eduardo Viccini.
She came in smiling, carrying a heavy bag, which she dumped on to the sofa, and followed it, bouncing up and down gleefully.
‘You look like a kid let out of school,’ he said with a grin.
‘That’s how I feel. Free! Free!’
‘Your case can’t be over already.’
‘But it is. The other side backed down. They thought we were going to crack but we didn’t, and they withdrew. I told you it was a try on. My client will get his costs, the other side gets a great big debt that they’ve run up with their lawyers, and it serves them right. And I get a holiday because I set aside time for a trial that isn’t going to take place. Free!’