‘There’s got to be a whole fascinating history behind that remark,’ Olympia said.
‘There is,’ Minnie assured her.
There were more introductions, but Franco was clearly too full of jet lag to take in many details, and he wanted to talk to his mother.
Minnie found an unexpected ally in young Mark, Justin’s thirteen year old son, who turned out to come from the same part of London where she’d once lived with her mother. They had a good time saying, ‘Do you know that place where-?’ until Evie, his step-mother, came to join in.
As soon as dinner was over Minnie said quietly to Luke, ‘I’ll say goodnight now.’
‘So soon?’
‘I don’t mean to be impolite, but I’m really in the way here. Your mother wants to be with her family, and I should catch up with my emails. I brought my laptop.’
‘Do you take work everywhere you go?’ he asked, appalled.
‘It’s always useful.’
She said goodnight to Hope, excusing herself on the grounds of catching up on her lost sleep of the night before.
In her room she connected the laptop and tried to concentrate on work, but it was strangely hard. From below she could heard the hum of a happy family, and it increased the sense of isolation that had swept over her.
I don’t belong here, she thought. I should get back to Naples and ‘my’ family, who need me.
Then she wondered at herself for feeling this way. Since Gianni’s death she’d taught herself to be self-sufficient, as content alone as in a crowd, and it was natural that she should be an outsider here. But she felt as though she’d been separated from Luke at the very moment that her heart wanted to draw nearer to him.
Jealousy, she thought, mocking herself. Jealousy at this late date.
And fear lest she lose him, a feeling she’d known so little that it had taken her time to recognise it.
She worked for a couple of hours, subconsciously listening to the house grow quiet about her. Then she shut down the computer, showered and got ready for bed. When the light was out she went to the window and stood looking out over the garden, where coloured lights hung between the trees.
A few yards along from her she could see a staircase leading down to the garden, and suddenly she needed to be down there. There was nobody in the corridor when she looked out, and she hurried along to where a door led out on to a balcony, from where the stairs descended. In a moment she’d run down on to the lawn, hurrying to get between the trees.
Here there was fresh sea air to be breathed in, and a sense of release. She stood looking down at the bay, taking deep breaths, feeling herself relax after the nervous strains of the last two days. Passionately she longed for Luke to be here with her, but strangely she also longed to get away from here, back to Rome, back to the life she knew and where she belonged, back to the time before she’d met Luke.
She wanted him, yet he threatened something in her, and part of her wanted to flee, all the more because she sensed that he was as wary of her as she was of him.
‘Are you there?’
She whirled around to see him coming towards her between the trees, and her own flash of happiness was like a warning. Get away from him now.
‘Yes, I’m here,’ she called back softly.
He reached out and drew her into the shadows with him.
‘I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again tonight. Did you come out to find me?’
‘No, I just-well, maybe I did-’
Hadn’t that been in her mind all the time? she wondered.
‘I wanted to talk to you all evening,’ he murmured, ‘but I couldn’t get close to you. This place is too crowded. I wish I could come back to Rome with you, but I can’t leave just yet.’
She made a wry grimace. ‘The flat is going to feel awfully empty without you.’
‘Yes, you won’t have anyone to tell you the answers in the game shows,’ he agreed.
‘Or help me with the crossword puzzles.’
‘You’ve got to admit, I have my uses,’ he said with a wry attempt at humour.
‘Oh, yes-Luke-Luke-’
Minnie reached up to take his face between her hands, looking at him intently, torn by two powerful emotions, full of confusion.
‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘Which of us are you looking at?’
‘Luke-don’t-’
‘Who is it, Minnie? Him or me?’
This time it was she who drew him close. ‘Not now,’ she whispered.
He wanted to protest that it mattered, but the sweet scent of her was in his nostrils. He’d been strong for her sake, but now it was she who wanted him to be weak and that was harder to fight.
When her lips brushed against his he knew that resisting her wasn’t going to be hard, but impossible. The passion he’d thought under control welled up now, so that she was flame in his arms, burning and igniting him, driving him to kiss her with a kind of ruthlessness.
And at once he felt her response to that ruthlessness. She was no green girl but a woman who’d experienced passionate love, but had then lived celibate while desire built in her, waiting to be triggered by the right man. It was all there in the heated movements of her mouth, the sensuality that made her press closer to him, the hot breath that mingled with his.
She offered no resistance when his lips trailed down her neck to the base of her throat, then further to the swell of her breasts. He could feel the pounding of her heart, hear the soft groan that broke from her and everything in him urged him on to what could be a blissful conclusion.
Or disaster.
‘Minnie-’ He seemed to hear himself say her name as if from a distance. ‘Minnie-wait-’
Using all the strength he could find, he drew away and held her at arm’s length.
‘Wait-’ he said again. ‘Not like this.’
‘What?’ she whispered.
‘Look at me,’ he said urgently. ‘Look at me.’
Her face was upturned to him but he saw with alarm that her eyes were unfocused.
‘Where are you, Minnie? You’re not here with me. Where are you?’ And who’s there with you? he wanted to add.
‘Why do you worry about things now?’ she whispered.
‘Because I want you too much to risk what we could have,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Or maybe I’m fooling myself and we could never have it-’
‘No, you’re not fooling yourself but… So much has happened. Luke-if you want me-’
‘I do. I want you as much as any man has ever wanted any woman, but not like this.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Where is Gianni? Can you tell me that?’
There was a stunned look in her eyes, as though she were pulling herself together with an effort.
‘He’s here, isn’t he?’ Luke raged. ‘He’s here because he’s always here, but that’s not good enough. I want you to come to me, me, not some fantasy figure that’s half me and half the man you really love.’
He gave a little shake. ‘Get rid him,’ he growled. ‘Or tell me how to get rid of him.’
‘I don’t know how.’ It was a cry of pain.
‘You must, if there’s ever to be anything for us. I want to make love to you. God knows how much I want that, but only when I come first with you. Until then-’
A tremor shook him, made up of thwarted desire and rage.
‘Until then there’s nothing between us,’ he managed to say before thrusting her from him and walking away.
It felt brutal, but he had to do it while he still had the strength.
He got as far away from her as possible, but then turned back. He wanted to tire himself, even though he knew it was no cure for what was raging through him. There was only one cure for that, and he began to think he would never find it.
Looking up, he saw a light in Minnie’s window. He longed to go up to her room, beg her to forget what had passed tonight, say he would accept anything if only he could find a home in her bed, in her heart.