'We'll get the answer. If we go out, we'll get the answer.
'Another thing. said the senator. 'Has it occurred to you that humanity might be capable of sending you out, of making it possible for you to go out in space to hunt for your answer, even if we knew we would not benefit? Knowing that somewhere in the universe there'd be some intelligence to which your data and your answer would be useful.
'I hadn't thought of that, said Blake, 'and I'm not sure that I believe it.
'You're bitter towards us, aren't you.
'I'm not sure, said Blake. 'I don't know what I feel. A man who has come home again and is not allowed to stay. Who is kicked out almost the moment he arrives.
'You don't have to go, of course. I had thought you wanted to. But if you want to stay…
'Stay for what? cried Blake. 'To be cooped up in a pretty cage in full official kindness? To be stared and pointed at? To have fools kneel outside your cage as they knelt and prayed on that hillside back in Willow Grove?
'It would be rather pointless, I suppose, said Horton. 'Staying here, I mean. Out in space you'd have at least a job to do and…
'That's another thing, said Blake. 'How come you know so much about me? How did you dig it out? How did you figure out what was actually involved?
'I understand, said Horton, 'that it was a matter of basic deduction, based on intensive observation and research. But we'd not have got anywhere without the Brownies' help.
So that was it, thought Blake. The Brownies once again.
'They were interested in you, said Horton. 'They're interested, it seems, in everything alive. Meadow mice, insects, porcupines — even human beings. I suppose you could call them psychologists. Although that's not the proper word. Their ability goes far beyond psychology.
'It wasn't me, of course, said Blake. 'Not Andrew Blake, I mean.
'No. As Andrew Blake, you were just another human. But they sensed the three of you — long before we knew about the three of you, although we eventually would have known. They spent a lot of time with Thinker. Just squatting there and looking at him, although I suspect they were doing more than looking.
'So between the two of you, the humans and the Brownies, you got the basic facts.
'Not all of them. said Horton, 'but enough to know the abilities you possessed and what you could do with them. We realized those capabilities must not be wasted. You had to have a chance to use them. And we suspected, too, that you could not use them here on Earth. That's when Space decided to let you have the ship.
'So it boils down to this, said Blake. 'I have a job to do. Whether I want to or not, there's a job to do.
Horton said, a little stiffly: 'I suppose it's up to you…
'It was not a job I asked for.
'No, Horton agreed. 'No, I guess you didn't. But there must be some satisfaction in its magnitude.
They sat for a moment, silent, both of them uneasy at how the talk had turned. Horton finished the brandy and set the glass aside. Blake reached for the bottle.
Horton shook his head. 'No. thank you. I must be going soon. But before I go, there is a question. It's this: What do you expect to find out there? What do you know already?
'As to what we expect, said Blake, 'I have no idea. As to what we know — a lot of things that add up to nothing.
'No hint? No idea of what it might all add up to? No pattern starting to emerge?
'There's one indication. Not too strong, but there. A universal mind.
'You mean a mind that operates the universe — that pushes all the necessary buttons?
'Maybe, said Blake. 'Maybe something like that. Horton let out his breath. 'Oh, my God' he said. 'Yes — oh, my God, said Blake, not mocking, but very close to mockery.
Horton rose stiffly. 'I must go, he said. 'Thank you for the drink.
'Senator, said Blake, 'I sent a message to Elaine and there was no answer. I tried to telephone.
'Yes. said Horton, 'I am aware of that.
'I must see her, sir. Before I go. There are certain things I want to say to…
'Mr Blake, said Horton, 'my daughter does not wish to see you, nor to speak with you.
Blake rose slowly to face him. 'But what is the reason? Can you tell me why?
'I should think, said Horton, 'even to you, the reason must be obvious.
34
The shadows crept into the room and Blake still sat upon the couch, unstirring, his brain still beating its weary circle about the one uncompromising fact.
She did not want to see or talk with him — and it had been the memory of her face that had finally brought him surging up out of the darkness and the quiet. If what the senator had said was true, then all the longing and the effort had been for nothing. He might better have stayed where he was until Thinker had finished with his cogitation and his calculation, lying there and healing.
But had the senator spoken the truth? Did he harbour some resentment for the part that Blake had played in the defeat of the bioengineering project? Had he taken this way to pay back, at least in part, the disappointment he had suffered?
This did not seem too likely, Blake told himself, for the senator surely knew enough of politics to have realized that the bioengineering business had been a gamble at the best. And there was something strange about it all. To start with, Horton had been affable and had brushed off mention of the referendum, then suddenly had turned brusque and cold. Almost as if he had been playing a part well thought out beforehand, although such a thing as that simply made no sense.
— You are taking it most excellently, said Thinker. No pulling of the hair, no gnashing of the teeth, no moaning.
— Oh, shut up! snapped Quester. Leave the man alone.
— I but sought to pay a compliment, persisted Thinker, and to offer moral support. He approaches it on a high, cerebral level, without emotional outburst. That is the only way to bring solution to a problem such as this.
Thinker gave a mental sigh.
— Although, he said, I must admit I cannot untangle the importance of this problem.
— Don't pay attention to him, Quester said to Blake. Any decision that you come to will be OK with me. If you wish to remain on this planet for a time, I would not mind at all. We could manage it.
— Oh, surely. Thinker said. There would be no problem. What is one human lifetime? You would not want to stay more than one human lifetime, would you?
'Sir, asked the Room, 'shall I turn on the lights?
'No, said Blake. 'Not yet.
'But it is becoming dark, sir.
'I do not mind the dark, said Blake.
'Would you care for supper, then?
'Not at the moment, thank you.
'Kitchen could make whatever you might like.
'In a while, said Blake. 'I am not hungry yet.
They had said that they would not mind if he should want to stay on Earth, if he should decide to have a try at becoming human, but what would be the use?
— You could try, said Quester. The female human might decide to change her mind.
— I don't think she will, said Blake.
And that, of course, was the worst of it, that he could understand why she wouldn't change her mind, why she should want nothing to do with a being such as he.
But it was not Elaine only, although she was, he knew, the greater part of it. It was, as well, the matter of cutting the final tie with these people to whom he could claim a kinship, the hankering for the home that he had never had, but that the humanity which was in him cried out should be his, of being forced to give up a birthright before he had a chance to claim it. And that was it, he told himself — the home, the birthright, and the kinfolk were the more precious to him because, deep within his heart, he knew that he could not have them.