I smacked my son on the back of his head and said, “I can’t wait to see you doing this. I’ll laugh my ass off!” I turned back to Bucky and answered, “They are all here. Your bride is waiting for this whole mess to start and looks gorgeous.” I looked over at Tusker. “Is he going to make it, or do we need to get a crash cart in here to revive him?”
“I don’t recall being that nervous when I got married.”
“At least he’s not bringing his children to the wedding,” I retorted.
Tusker barked out a laugh. “Oh, that is cold, buddy, that is cold!”
Bucky breathed easier on hearing his fiancé was there. Charlie asked, “Why aren’t you with the girls?”
“Because the guests are still arriving and because a pack of half a dozen women would drive a saint crazy, let alone me! If I’m in here, your mother can’t tell me to behave!”
He snorted out a laugh, and then reached into his jacket and pulled out a silver flask. “I can help your problem, you know.”
I gave him a wry look. “I thought I told you to keep him sober.”
“Hey, he’s sober, and so am I. We’ve been behaving all night long.” He waved the flask under my nose. “Hmmm?”
“Screw it, why not.” I took it from him and took a swig, and then handed it to my soon-to-be son-in-law. I swallowed my drink with a bit of a grimace. “That’s right, you like bourbon, don’t you?” I might not like it, but I did get that familiar warming feeling as it went down. I also knew that if we sat around drinking it long enough, I’d learn to like it, too.
Charlie grinned and took a sip and passed it to Tusker. “As opposed to that sissy stuff you drink from Canada and Ireland. I’m surprised your party hasn’t censured you for that already.”
“My party! The Republicans? Please, don’t ruin my day and tell me you’re a Democrat! It’s bad enough with your mother and sisters, but I was hoping that you at least actually had hair on your balls!” I took back the flask and took a second sip.
They all laughed at me, and they took another sip again, and then I took the flask from them, put the cap back on it, and slipped it into my pocket. “You’ll get this after the I do part,” I told them. Charlie lightheartedly protested as Tusker and I left and headed back to the womenfolk. I waved at several people and shook a few hands on the way, and we found the bridal party trying to sort themselves into the proper order. Tusker went over to Tessa and gave her a hug.
I looked at Marilyn and asked, “How’s it all going in here?”
“Remarkably well. Molly’s good. Isn’t she gorgeous?!” She pulled my youngest over to stand in front of me, and sandwiched her with her sister on the other side.
I had to smile at that. Molly was wearing white, with an off-the-shoulder brocaded bodice and Chantilly lace everywhere else. It also had a long train, but when I had asked about that earlier, I was assured it could be removed for dancing later. She also had a white veil and a circlet on her head, but that was pushed up and out of the way for the moment. The other members of the wedding party were all in rose gowns, each one different, including the mothers of the bride and groom. Marilyn was wearing a calf length dress with a bustier top and a matching jacket; Holly’s dress was a slim fitting sheath with spaghetti straps.
I stepped back and eyed the trio thoughtfully. “Gorgeous! Molly, you are almost as beautiful as your mother was when we got married.”
Marilyn blushed and smiled, and Molly grinned. “Nice one, Dad!”
Holly added, “Dad’s just trying to get lucky later.”
Tusker heard that one and began to cough. I looked over at him and said, “At least you only had boys! It could have been so much worse!”
One of the agents knocked on the door and entered. He smiled and said, “I was told to tell you that the guests are all here and you can get started whenever you want.”
I looked at Molly. “Ready?”
Molly answered, “Ready!”
“Last chance. No cold feet?”
“No cold feet, Dad. Are you ready?”
I chuckled at that. “Baby, I’m not going to walk you down the aisle, I’m going to run you down the aisle, and when I get to Bucky, I’m going to say, ‘Here! She’s your problem now!’”
“Daddy!”
“Wait!” cried Holly, who reached up and pulled the veil back down over her sister’s face, and then she and Tessa straightened it out. “Okay, ready!”
We began to file out of the room. I hung back with my wife for a second, and whispered in her ear, “I’ve been informed that weddings are good places to pick up chicks for later, that women at weddings get all sorts of wild and crazy ideas.”
She grinned at me and whispered back, “You never know. Just how wild and crazy were you hoping to get?”
I waggled my eyebrows at her and she laughed, and then went to her place in the lineup. I moved back to stand next to Molly. As I went out the door, I handed my cane to one of the agents. “Do me a favor and hold onto that. I may be old and decrepit, but I think I can hold myself together long enough to walk my daughter down the aisle.”
The agent was one of the guys who worked out with me some mornings. “Yes, sir. I’ll put it with your wheelchair, right next to the walker,” he laughed.
“Good idea. Thank you.”
I took my place at the end of the line with Molly, as her sister straightened the train out behind her, and then the music started up and we simply had to wait for everybody in front of us to move on out. We had the groom’s parents, then Marilyn, then the ushers and bridesmaids, and then Holly. Finally it was just Molly and me, so I tucked her arm inside mine and as the processional began, we slowly moved down the aisle. My knee was really beginning to bother me these days, but I was all smiles as I escorted my baby. Down at the front I carefully lifted her veil off her face, and kissed her on the forehead. No, I didn’t make any smart or snarky remarks to either one of them. Marilyn would have killed me. Then I moved back to the pew next to Marilyn. I glanced across the aisle, and Tusker gave me a thumbs up, which I returned. (That photo ended up in Business Week in an article on Tusk Cycle.)
Really, when it comes down to it, isn’t all that any of us want out of life is to see our kids married off and doing well? What more is there, in the final analysis? One down, two to go.
I smiled at the two people sitting in the pew with us, our still single children’s dates. We went through the ceremony and the Mass just fine. Marilyn had ordered that her children were going to be married in a church with a proper Mass. During the wedding plans discussion this had been uttered in an imperious tone that had the rest of us nervously stepping back a pace and going, “Sure thing, whatever you say!” When the time came for communion, I just stayed in my seat, since I wasn’t Catholic, and let the others go past me. Jerry stayed seated; Megan stood and took communion with the others. I was sure that would please Marilyn.
And thus my baby got married. They didn’t do any silly homemade wedding vows. It was all pretty conventional, but that works for most of us. Marilyn cried appropriately, and I just hugged her with an arm around the shoulders. Then we all marched back down the aisle and got sprinkled with soap bubbles from those little plastic bottles that everybody got. After a bit, with everybody and their brother shaking hands and congratulating each other, the wedding party headed back inside for photos while everybody else made their way over to the White House. If you didn’t have your own limo, we provided, and if that wasn’t enough, we had luxury coach buses available for the short drive. Since everybody was going to get into the booze before we made it back, I pulled out the flask I had confiscated and we passed that around until we finished it off — about one swig each! Luckily, it wasn’t the only flask around.