“Christ!” I finished my glass and poured another, topping Frank’s off as well. “I’m the ungrateful son? My father disowns me and doesn’t even have the decency to tell me he’s doing it! Were you aware that I only discovered it during the legal wrangling after I killed my brother? He disowned me on the orders of my mother, the psycho bitch! Did you know she bought the knife my brother had on him, and loaned him her car to stalk us with?”
“I don’t know what to say, Mister President. I just can’t imagine it.”
“You want to know the crazy thing? For years now I have had armchair psychologists, none of whom have ever actually met me or talked to me or my family, explain my success. I am overcompensating and trying to win my father’s approval, and when that fails, I am forced to do something even greater. You want to know the funny part? I’ve known since I was a kid that my family thought I was a failure. I’ve known it all my life. The only thing I ever wanted from my father was permission to move out!” I told him. I was just musing loudly at that point. “Frank, were you ever in the Cub Scouts or Boy Scouts?”
“Yes, sir, both.”
I nodded. “Remember that first camping trip, how all the little boys were scared or homesick?”
He nodded and smiled. “I was one of them. You get over it, and then it becomes a big adventure.”
“Exactly. Still, that first time, you miss home. Home is safety and security and people who love you and take care of you. Here’s something to think about. I never got homesick, not even a little. For me, home wasn’t any of those things. Home was just a house I lived in.”
Frank just sat there and nodded. What could he say to me, after all?
I thought about it, and said, “If we have to say anything, just say that it’s a private family matter and the President requests that the Buckman family’s privacy be respected. They won’t, of course. Just watch. There will be reporters and camera crews at the church and the graveside, hoping to film me attending, and hoping for some fireworks when I meet my long estranged family. When I don’t show up, they’ll start interviewing everybody. I wonder if my mother will show up. I bet she’ll give a great interview! Probably blame everything on me and then have another nervous breakdown!”
Frank capped the bottle and put it back in the sideboard. “Neither one of us needs any more of this, and you don’t need to be hanging around the office if you have any more.”
“True enough. I’ll be known as the American Boris Yeltsin! I’ll be fine, Frank. I just think I need to go upstairs and forget about the day. I need to tell Marilyn and the kids the news. Did you know my daughters have never met my parents? Charlie did, once, when he was still in diapers, but he doesn’t remember them. Marilyn refused to allow my parents to even touch him! They’ve never met any of my aunts or uncles or cousins. How screwed up is that?”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mister President.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Frank, and I won’t be hung over, either, I promise.”
“Good night, sir.”
I told Marilyn, and she told the kids. Afterwards we ate dinner and watched television silently. The images simply flickered across my vision, however. My mind was on my history, my life on the first go and on this one. Was there ever a way to have kept a relationship with any of my family? Mom was crazy, but not Dad. Dad was weak. Did I still miss him after thirty years? Or did I miss some fictional version of my father that I had never really known?
The story came out, and Will issued the ‘private family matter’ response. It made the national evening news but didn’t get more than about 30 seconds. Some of the tabloids tried for more, and managed to snag a few interviews from cousins who had written me off back in the old days and had since come to the realization that they had also written off potential megabucks. Only one of my cousins had ever tried to contact me, and that was for money for a business. I dumped it on Jake Junior at the time and told him to apply our standard methods to evaluate it for investment. It failed the test and I had Jake inform him. I never heard from any of them since that.
Suzie called and gave me a report after the funeral. It turned out that Dad was buried next to Hamilton, and that Mom still had a plot next to Dad. The nuclear family from Hell.
Chapter 172: Campaign 2008
There wasn’t going to be a whole lot of grand legislation going on in 2008. This was an election year, and it was going to be a big one. We would start off with the primaries, which would take up most of the late winter and early spring. After that we would have a brief lull through the summer, and then go into the conventions. After the conventions it would be full out bloody warfare. This was on top of the regular fun and games. Every House seat was up for election, as were one in three Senate seats. The chance of actually accomplishing anything was remote at best.
That wasn’t to say nothing would get passed. Both the Democrats who ran the Senate and the Republicans who controlled the House could be counted on to pass some bills that had absolutely zero chance of ever getting through because they would never be passed by the other house. It didn’t matter what the bill was for, the real purpose was to attach a name to a bill or to a vote against a bill. “Congressman Blathermouth voted against food stamps for hungry children! It’s time to fire Congressman Blathermouth!” Well, that’s not really what happened. The bill that was voted on was actually about raising taxes in Congressman Blathermouth’s district, so when he voted that down, he also voted down the food stamp increase rider. Both sides played this game. Congressman Blathermouth would take the same vote and trumpet about how he held the line on taxes, so re-elect him so he can continue leading the fight.
I did expect to get some legislation passed, but it would be mostly bills supplemental to other bills that were already in place. For instance, last year I had pushed through a five year extension on some major infrastructure spending bills — bridges, highways, water and sewer improvements, canal locks, and such — and this year we would need to pass the proper budget and spending bills. How much that was going to cost in special appropriations and earmarks in order to buy recalcitrant politicians I wasn’t sure yet.
It was amusing in a way. Every year you had various Congressional leaders who would hoot and holler about the pernicious effects of earmarks, and how they were nothing but bribery using the taxpayers’ money. They would promise to ban all earmarks, and make all government spending more transparent. God save us if that ever actually happens! If a little bribery is needed to pass a piece of important legislation, then pay the damn bribe! For my money, politics was the art of the possible, and some appropriately spread around cash made a lot of stuff much more possible.
You actually don’t use the earmarks to line anybody’s pocket. That would be illegal. Instead you use the money to fund a project or lower a tax for somebody back in your district. If the thankful citizens and businesses in your district wish to reward your outstanding performance with a campaign contribution, well that that’s just peachy!
America has the best government money can buy. As for efficiency, well, that’s a different matter.
In 2004 I ran for re-election, and as far as the Republican Party was concerned, I ran unopposed. Ron Paul tried to run against me, but I don’t remember him getting a single vote. Now, in 2008, we actually had a race. John McCain was the front runner, and the presumptive winner. Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee were the only other major players in the game. Everybody else, and there were probably another half dozen candidates running in Iowa and New Hampshire, was praying for a miracle.