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Still fuming after both Frank and Marty told me how predictable I was, I went up to the Residence and asked Marilyn about it. Rather than denying Frank’s report, she said, “They weren’t supposed to tell you!”

“You mean it’s true!? You really are betting twenty bucks on when I get bored and unretired!? Marilyn!”

“Oh, you behave. Yes. You’ll go nuts sitting around all day! After a few weeks of vacation, a month at best, you’ll get your knee replaced, and as soon as that’s over, you’ll just be stewing around the house. Mindy told me she was going to start scouting Washington office space in the spring, for whatever you call your new venture.”

I was sitting down, and I harrumphed at her. Marilyn just rolled her eyes at me and then bent down and kissed me on my bald spot, which made me swat at her. A bunch of smart asses, the lot of them!

After lunch I went back down to the Oval Office. I met President-Elect McCain in the hallway. “Find out how long your wife is betting on you?” he asked.

I stared at him for a second. “Don’t tell me you’re in on this, too!”

Behind him a pair of secretaries coming down the hall giggled and turned around, ducking into an open door. I called out, “I saw that! This is treason! Treason!”

John shrugged and smiled. “I’m not too worried. In just a few weeks I’ll be able to write myself a pardon.”

“Treason!”

I already knew what some of the other various senior staffers were going to be doing after leaving the White House. Marc Thiessen had left immediately after the election, and was already working on K Street as a lobbyist. Matt Scully would be going to work as an editor for National Review. Will Brucis was heading over to ARI as the Director of Communications, essentially his current job, even though he didn’t know it was my lobbying company. Both Matt and Will were contemplating books about their time in the White House and the Buckman administration; how successful they would be made me wonder. I suspected Fletcher Donaldson would do better; he had already approached me with plans to write a biography on me and wanted, not so much permission, but cooperation. Even I had been approached by a couple of publishing houses for my memoirs, but it wasn’t like I needed the cash, and I really didn’t care.

Congress was sworn in on Tuesday, January 6th. John would be sworn in on Tuesday, January 20th. In between, on Saturday night, the 10th, I would host my final dinner with the new Congressmen and Senators. I had done this in 2003, 2005, and 2007, and it was still my responsibility. I would speak briefly, but really the evening was to introduce them to President-Elect McCain, and he would be speaking as well.

That night went a little longer than planned, because just about everybody wanted photos taken with both John and me, two Presidents. Then, during the remarks section, I kept my remarks brief. After the usual welcome and a few bland statements about moving the nation forward and always being available to work with them (and mentioning that John McCain would be available in another ten days) I finished with my regular ending.

“Now, I am sure that some of you are probably feeling a bit overwhelmed by now. The folks back home sent you here to do a job, and you aren’t quite sure what to do. Well, I’ll simply remind you all that both John and I started out as freshman Congressmen, and if we figured it out, I’m sure you will, also. However, in case anybody here isn’t completely sure what their job is, let me tell you something that happened to me during my freshman year.

I happened to be at my district office in Westminster, and Marilyn had just started working there as an unpaid intern. While I was there, a call came in and Marilyn answered it, and it was from a woman in Westminster, and she was complaining about something. Marilyn was telling the woman how I was a Congressman and worked in Washington and was very important, and how she needed to call somebody in Westminster to handle such a small problem, and the whole conversation was going downhill quickly. I called a quick time-out and took the phone, and I asked the lady what the problem was. She told me her garbage hadn’t been picked up and wanted to know who was going to fix this! I took down her name and address and phone number and told her I would take care of it. Then I asked her why she had called me, and not the town. Her response? She didn’t want to bother anybody important right off the bat!

So always remember the real reason you have been sent here. Your job in Washington is not to be important and do lofty things. Your job in Washington is to clean up the garbage. Good luck!”

As always, this got a lot of laughs, including from my properly embarrassed wife, who I had rescued back in 1991.

And so it went. The weekend before the Inauguration the staff packed us up and moved everything out, sending it either to Hereford or over to the house on 30th Street. The kids all came over to grab anything they had left behind, or it was going into storage. Marilyn and I moved over to the 30th Street house, giving everybody plenty of time to move the McCain’s belongings over from the Naval Observatory. We spent the night of the 19th over in Georgetown, though we never told the press.

As the outgoing President, I had an open invitation to all the festivities, but that didn’t mean it was a good idea to go. I didn’t need to overshadow the new guy, even if he was my designated successor. Marilyn and I decided that we would go to the actual Inauguration, but afterwards, we would sneak out of town and go home to Hereford. We could claim we were coming down with a cold or something. We told John and Cindy the day before, and said good-bye to the staff before leaving.

We did host a farewell dinner the night of the 19th, relatively small, for the Bushes and McCains. President Bush was still moving around, but he was looking rather frail. We took a group photo of me, President Bush, Vice President McCain, and Vice President Elect Bush, and I commented to the others that this was a chance to get a photo of four Presidents together. The others all chuckled and smiled, but it was true. As Vice President, Jeb was assuring himself of a run at the White House himself. Whether John won or lost in 2012, Jeb would be back on his own in 2016, and probably be a leading candidate. Something to watch for in the future.

It was an enjoyable dinner. At one point I told Jeb to make sure he got his father to teach him how to salute.

“Salute? What do you mean?” he asked.

“There are a lot of times that you will be saluted by somebody, maybe one of the Marines around the White House, or when you are visiting a base somewhere, and you’ll need to return the salute. Your father, John, and I already knew, since we were in the service once. Your brother, too.” Both John and George nodded at that. “However, when Slick Willie took over from your dad back in ’92, your father had to actually give him a lesson in saluting. At least that’s what your brother told me once.”

President Bush smiled and nodded. “That’s true. We did it in the Oval Office right before the inauguration.”

Jeb shook his head. “I’d better do that, or I’ll never hear the end of it from my parents!” The rest of us laughed at that.

The weather on the 20th was cold and blustery, with a chill wind out of the northwest that cut through everything. Even though there were heaters in the stage, I was glad I had long johns on under my suit. John gave a good speech Not a great speech, but a good speech. I don’t think any of us were ever going to be able to top John F. Kennedy. Afterwards, I shook John’s hand and wished him and Cindy well, and we were escorted to our limo. We would be driven over to the house on 30th to pick up Stormy, and then go over to the Naval Observatory, where Marine One would fly us home. It wouldn’t be Marine One for us anymore. That title is only used when the President is flying, and I didn’t qualify anymore.