I said, Captain Gabriel told me even the enemy thought they were brave.
And they gave more than most people ever did, said Sherry Danway with an edge. More than any general ever gave.
The minister let a painful smile cross over his face, left to right. Well, you’re probably right about that, he admitted. Of course they had cyanide pills… Did you know that? All such operatives were issued with them.
I hadn’t known. Though I’d heard rumours about it, mainly from Dotty, no one had told us that officially. We took a while to absorb it.
I can’t imagine Leo taking a suicide pill, I told McBride. And I don’t think he should have been expected to.
Hugo would never have taken his, said Sherry. It was against his religion.
Would you give them a medal if they all took their suicide pills? asked Rhonda.
No… The minister knew he had made a tasteless mistake and was back-pedalling. No, suicide is contrary to my principles too.
Though I had sustained myself to this point as well as I could, I wanted to the meeting to be over. I wanted it to end in Mr McBride’s reasonable surrender. Now that we’d done our duty, I wanted to him to say, Of course! What an oversight! I’ll take it up immediately and achieve justice for these men.
Then I wanted to gallop down the stairs without the burden of any further knowledge. If you had asked me what I was scared of I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Poor Leo deserved a more valiant wife. But then I thought, What are Dotty or Minette doing? They were fussy women. Though Dotty wrote to me and kept me informed of Minette, she had never mentioned their trying to make a fuss about the men with Whitehall.
So I summed up the feelings of my sisters in grievance. It seems strange to me, I said, that they were decorated for Cornflakes, which didn’t kill them, and not for Memerang, which did.
Well, said McBride, it was considered at that time by a thorough-going military commission, young lady, and there are no grounds on which I could reverse their decision. Anyhow, look how often the story of Doucette’s raiding parties are told in the press. The Memerang people will always be honoured and known to future generations. I really think you’ll have to be content with that.
I doubt very much that Sergeant Bantry is happy to let it go at that, Rhonda told the minister.
McBride smiled at her with a sort of heavily tested tolerance.
We’re sadly in no position to know that, young lady.
I prayed she would not admit to having seen the ghost, which of course would enable him to end the meeting very promptly. He took this moment of confusion to break away from the mid-desk seat and go to lean over his male secretary for yet another muttered conference. The secretary pointed out paragraphs in files he handed to his superior. McBride scanned them before putting them down again on the desk with a Yes, yes.
Through this, Sherry Danway’s eyes remained fixed on his vacated chair. She was pale but – like me – was sticking it out. As the minister returned to his seat, she said suddenly and in a near shout, I think if we tell the newspapers… I think they’ll find it all pretty strange like we do.
This did upset the minister a little. Look, they can’t make any judgement on this matter. At least I am operating on full information. Besides, why now? There is another war raging. Perhaps you should have come forward earlier.
That idea struck us hard – that we’d delayed. In fact, all Sherry Danway and I could do was look at each other, surrendering the advantage to the minister. But Rhonda went on fighting for us. But come on, you have to be fair, Mr McBride, she protested. In those days it was hard for these women to say anything. Memerang were missing. Then every month they learned something new, and it was never good news. They were as scared as billy-oh of what they’d hear next. And in any case, they’re here now.
The minister nodded, conceding all this. Look, he said, I sincerely urge you all to leave this issue where it stands. I could tell you some committee or other would return to it. But that would be a lie. The matter is finally settled. I wish you’d take my word on that. So, for your own sakes…
Our only power, I could sense, was that he was worried we might weep, scream or do some of the other things that made men his age lose their natural colour and close one eye and wince at the messiness of the world. And we could not leave. We didn’t know whether his advice was kindness or a lie. He turned to his secretary.
Would you like to talk about this, Mr Henley?
A man unleashed, Mr Henley was happy to. But McBride had a sudden doubt. He held his hand up. Ladies, why not just accept my word on this and go away from here certain of the bravery of your husbands, your… men.
Rhonda leaned forward to check our faces. She said, We can’t all go away now, Mr McBride. You’ve raised a mystery.
All right, then, he said, and nodded to Henley. Henley told us that the Memerang men had been considered for awards and decorations. But, he said, there was a further problem than lack of witnesses. As part of the operation, the group had been trained to use a new and very valuable submersible craft. This craft was of such revolutionary design that it allowed operatives to approach enemy ships without being seen. During their training the men learned to handle these craft, and it was impressed on them that if intercepted they were to destroy these vessels and say nothing to the enemy about them. When things did go wrong, they destroyed the vessels. But fragments were retrieved by the Japanese from a shallow sea floor, and presented with these fragments, a number of the Memerang personnel were betrayed into giving information… I stress they were probably tricked. Your husband was one, Mrs Waterhouse, and yours another, Mrs Danway. I’m afraid SOE in London, who had ownership of the craft, were very angry about it. And it certainly vitiated any chance of awards and honours.
At this news I felt my consciousness departing and leaned forward in my chair, letting out a great Oh!
McBride said, It doesn’t matter at all. They were still heroes, and no one’s going to bring out the matter of the submersibles publicly. It would need to come out, of course, only if you made public accusations that we were niggardly towards those men. Are you all right, Mrs Waterhouse?
He was rising in his seat. I felt heeled-over, hanging at a disastrous angle, and when I tried to correct that I stumbled off my chair. I certainly could not speak. There was a flurry of people entering the office and bringing water, but that made me angry for some reason, and with normal irritation, I returned to myself.
Does it mean they were tortured? I asked. I meant, tortured about the submersibles.
For the first time the minister showed some unease. He mumbled, I think it was more a matter of deception and feint…
I stood up. I said, I can’t bear it if they were tortured!
My ears were ringing. I knew I was failing Leo, not up to his strength. I have no clear memory from that point until Rhonda and Sherry were taking me down the stairs and assuring various women staff that I was fine now and that we didn’t need tea. It would have been impossible for us to drink in McBride’s shadow. I couldn’t have borne it.
We were fortunate that in the vacant parkland beyond the front door, a cab was discharging a passenger. Rhonda ran and captured it, and we all got in without a word. The only things said during the journey were by Rhonda. I probably shouldn’t have pushed this trip on you, she told us wanly. Neither Sherry Danway nor myself were speaking.
We arrived at the boarding house, and Mrs Danway got out immediately and hurried inside, still without saying anything. Since Rhonda had insisted on paying the first fare, I applied my confused mind to paying this one. Then we caught up with Sherry – she was in the lobby asking the girl for her key. Rhonda took her by the arm and said something about hoping she was not too upset. She did not get an answer. Well-meaningly, she followed Sherry to the stairs. Don’t go up to your room, Sherry. Let’s have a cup of tea and all cheer up. Why should we give a damn about these submersible boats? If it saved any of them from getting beaten up, all the better!