“And yet, if I were to taste of you now, you would find yourself easily able to deny me come the new light,” murmured Mehrayn, his lips to my hair, his words drawing me away from the distractions of thought. “I have no understanding of your dislike for use upon my altar, yet am I well aware of it. Perhaps it would be best if we were to abstain as once we did, so that your reluctance may be overcome at the proper time.”
“Mehrayn, I do not mean to remain till the new light,” I said, his body still as he heard my words. “The last of the darkness will do best to see me upon my way from this city, before those who dwell in it are up and about. A journey such as the one before me is best begun as soon as possible.”
His motionlessness touched me more deeply than his flesh, for I knew well that I would now have no more of him. His flesh remained as warm as it had been, his great arms as tightly about me, yet would they soon be gone, withdrawn in male-seen insult.
“So soon?” he asked at last, and then, strangely, the arms I had expected to release me tightened the more. The breath was nearly taken from me with the abrupt constriction, and a small grunt escaped my throat, more from surprise than pain. My breasts were crushed against the broadness of his chest and I moved in silent protest, nearly wide-eyed at the strength he showed. So easily is a warrior able to forget the strength of males, yet recall it she must if she is to remain free and a warrior. Again I moved in protest, attempting to loose myself from the keren-like embrace, and at last Mehrayn perceived my difficulty.
“Have I hurt you, wench?” he asked, releasing me enough so that he could look at me. “It was not my intention to do you harm, yet the thought of losing you so quickly—the new light seems a great deal farther away than the end of this darkness. I suddenly find that my arms lack the strength to release you.”
I breathed deeply as I continued to attempt to extricate myself. “The strength of your arms seems more than sufficient for any deed you may care to essay,” I said. “Perhaps you could try to release me—else I seek the aid of another.”
“Another?” asked Mehryn, chuckling as his arms tightened some small amount. “There are no others about to ask, nor would any Sigurri attempt to stand against me in a situation such as this. Even Chaldrin, who has sworn himself to your safety, would not attempt to come between us. Should I find it impossible to release you, who would there be to stand for you?”
“Mehrayn forgets that I require no more than one to stand with me,” I replied, pressing my dagger to his throat. Again his body grew motionless, this time for different reasons. “ ‘This blade was given me by Mida, and by cause of that has become my sister. Is it your desire to be kissed more deeply by my sister?”
“I had not realized you had brought your-sister to my furs,” said he cautiously against the sharpened metal. “Never before this have you slept with a dagger so near to hand.”
“Always do I sleep with a dagger near to hand,” I replied, running my free palm slowly over his back. “Never before have I been free to do so in this city of males. Do you continue to consider abstinence?”
“Wench, I refuse to believe that you would use that blade on me,” said he, remaining motionless. “We have come to mean too much to one another to cause each other harm. You will put that blade up and then we will pleasure ourselves, and come the new light we will leave together to see to those enemy wenches of yours. Aysayn will lead our legions out when the rites are done, and we will ride to meet them when our chore is completed.”
“When our chore is completed,” I echoed, once again annoyed. “So you insist that you will accompany me, do you? What of the agreement we came to?”
“I came to no agreement,” said he. “It was you alone who refused the presence of those who would stand with you during your need. Once I rode from you and permitted you to ride from me; had Sigurr not moved those foul followers of the Oneness to attack my legion quickly, I well might have returned here rather than continue on to their city. The distress I felt apart from you was more than I was able to bear, Jalav, and I do not care to bear it again.”
“Sooner would you bear what the Midanna would bring you,” said I, disgusted. “You eagerly seek an unknown fate, forgetting that I cannot prevent it, for I stand in Mida’s cause and not in that of a male! Perhaps you should have some small taste of that fate.”
“Wench, you may not do this!” protested Mehrayn, but he released me at the urging of my blade. Though he seemed sure I would not harm him, he knew well enough that I need not slay him to see my will done. And were I to wound him, he would not only not accompany me, neither would Aysayn permit him to accompany the Sigurri legions when they rode forth. His insistence on foolishness had angered me, so that I wanted to wound him. In the darkness the male was unable to see my anger, but he could sense it from the near growl in my voice—and be properly wary.
As Mehrayn put himself flat upon the furs, I followed, one hand to his shoulder as I knelt across the dark shadow of his body, the other hand a fist about the hilt of the dagger which touched his throat. It had been some time since I had last used a male so, but I remembered the way of it. The male stirred faintly beneath me, clearly agitated, and I smiled into the surrounding darkness.
“You cared little for use of this sort as a captive in Bellinard,” said I, my voice soft as I moved farther toward his thighs along his belly. “Were you captive to Midanna in their own home tents, you would know no other use. Never would you be permitted to take a warrior, only to serve her in her own chosen way. Jalav is a warrior and war leader, and has taken many males in this manner.”
“Jalav has swallowed too great an amount of falar,” said Mehrayn, sourly. “I am not a wench to be forced to the pleasure of a warrior, nor am I as deeply in need as in Bellinard. The war leader Jalav will receive from me no more than that which her esteemed enemies would receive-here or in their own home tents.”
“You speak so by cause of never having tasted of the sthuvad drug,” said I, moving myself to where his manhood lay. Indeed was he only partially aroused, not nearly enough for adequate use, yet did his flesh jump at the touch of mine, and begin somewhat to rise and harden. “In the presence of the sthuvad drug, a warrior may do with a male as she wishes, and the male may not deny her.”
“I am the master of my own body,” said Mehrayn, the words forced between clenched teeth. “It is not seemly for a man to be taken so, and I shall not allow it.”
“And yet you deemed it seemly to take this warrior with your strength when she would have had none of you,” I replied in a murmur, caressing his male-flesh with my female-flesh and causing him to continue to stir. “As that taking was to your liking, so is this taking to mine.”