The male turned then and rapidly retraced his steps in the direction from which we had come, leaving the slave where she knelt and a Midanna warrior in whom impatience flared with the strength of Mida’s light at mid fey. I looked briefly about at those who hurried to and fro, saw none who seemed intent upon barring my way, slung my bow across my shoulders and added the case of shafts to my left, then purposely took my leave.
To one side of Mehrayn’s dwelling stood a smaller dwelling called stables, that which housed the kand in Mehrayn’s possession. No Sigurri was then about, and no sign that a kan had been prepared for me, though as expected, brought disappointment. The stone of the floor was unlittered with the stiff, yellow stall bedding, as though one had already been there to clear away the trailings of the fey previous, leaving my feet an easier path through the dwelling. I sought the kan I had brought from Bellinard, thinking it might be among those of Mehrayn and, surprisingly, there in the dimness to the back of the dwelling, so it was.
The beast turned its head to regard me as I slid in beside it, softly whickering to show its recognition. A glance about the enclosure showed its bridle hung upon the wall, within easy reach. It was the work of a moment to place it upon the beast, another moment to tie my small pack of belongings into its mane, and then did I back the beast from the enclosure and mount in a single, fluid jump. My weight upon the yellow and brown kan and its release from confinement caused it to dance about in anticipation, as pleased as I at the prospect of departure, as eager as I to be shut of the cities and doings of males. I touched its sides with my heels and we danced forward, leaving the dimness for the growing light and warmth beyond.
There were few about to see me ride from the glittering black of Mehrayn’s dwelling, those few heedless of me as they moved along upon errands of their own. Truly had Mida sent a glorious fey for my travel’s beginning, one which would be all the more glorious once the forests had been reached. The road tended ever downward, for the city of the Sigurri was built level upon level, carved from the face of the mountain against which it had been built. I rode past glittering black upon the fifth and fourth levels, yet the third and second brought more and more red-black dwellings to stand about the glittering black. The glittering dwellings of the higher levels were for those of higher station, those of lower level red-black for those of lower station. Much were males concerned with position in life, as though there was importance to be found in so foolish a male thing. What greater importance was there than to gain the position of war leader to warriors of worth during the glory of battle? Those who were Midanna were warriors all, yet even the Sigurri had those about who were other than warriors. I looked about at those males of the lower levels who did not wear the black of Sigurr, those males who stood sweeping dust and dirt from before their odd-appearing dwellings, those males who saw to the kand of those from above who paused on their level, those males who did naught save stand about and converse idly with others like themselves. For what reason were they permitted to remain in what was purportedly a city of warriors? They none of them wore weapons, these males who looked me with unvoiced heat as I rode by, yet did they live among those who fought in the name of Sigurr. Much though I had tried, I could conceive of no use for these males, no reason for their presence; it remained one of the many male oddities.
The greatest number of those who were about were to be found upon the lowest level, as it had been when I had arrived at the city. Males in many colored body cloths, females in hip wraps which reached to their ankles, youths, babes, kand, wagons, noise, motion, stench. I urged my kan forward as quickly as possible through the mass, again feeling the illness to which I would never become accustomed. The dwellings standing so close upon one another contrived to keep the bedlam within and multiplied beyond belief, each shouting voice the voice of ten, each presence the presence of ten, each odor the strength of ten. Bodies pressed close all about me and about each other, causing my kan to snort with displeasure, causing me to struggle to keep hand from sword hilt. Much did I feel the need to lay all about me and clear a space within which one might breathe, yet was it a thing I might not do. Though the sweat beaded my brow and grew upon my body, though my seat upon my kan became less secure by cause of the moisture, still must I ride slowly forward with the flow. Those about me had not named themselves enemy to me; in honor I might cause them no harm.
It seemed as though half the fey had passed before the multitude thinned and the way carried me from the city. With none before me I allowed my kan his head, and quickly did his ever-lengthening stride take us farther and farther away. Truly were cities a thing of males, confining, violating, unreasoning and maddening. The open countryside through which I rode was a gift from Mida in comparison, the occasional dwellings and toiling field-males notwithstanding. The muscles of my kan bunched over and again as the beast strove to increase its pace, and I tightened my knees and bent forward, encouraging it to an even greater pace.
Not long did I allow my mount to continue at full tilt, for there was a considerable journey before us. I slowed our plunge to an easy trot, freed my bow from about my shoulders, then looked more purposefully food stuffs. There was a small hunger in me at that time, brought about by having fed thrice each fey as the males did, yet would I soon revert to the proper trail manner of only twice each fey. To be free of males was to be free to act as a warrior preferred, with none to insist upon another way, a supposedly superior way.
Abruptly I slowed the kan to a stop, slid from its back, placed my bow upon the stone of the way, and crouched with my arms about me. With head bowed I attempted to force the trembling from my body, much as my previous thoughts had attempted to force the trembling from my mind. Never before in my life as a warrior had I ridden forth without my life sign, the life sign which was the guardian of my soul. I raised my head and breathed deeply of the sweet, silken air, warmed to perfection by the climbing light of the fey, lifting my face to the gentle breeze which whispered by. Once thought upon, the reason for my difficulty became clear; others might dismiss consideration of Mida’s displeasure, yet Jalav was not among them. I had put aside the wishes of Mida and had paused to dally with males, therefore had my life sign been taken. Was I then to be allowed the presence of those selfsame males, to allay the loss of the life sign? I laughed once, bitterly, knowing myself a fool. Never again would I be allowed the presence of Mehrayn, just as the presence of Ceralt had been denied me. My life and efforts were Mida’s alone, and were I to forget the lesson, it would soon be recalled to me. I was to continue on as I was, without life sign and without accompaniment, and I was to prevail. Failure would bring a greater loss than one single life alone, all those Midanna who followed me, all the Hosta lying in capture, those were the lives which would be forfeit should I fail. The other clans of Midanna would enter battle leaderless and would fall, leaving none to aid the Hosta at battle’s end. So many lives looking to one, and the possessor of that one sat crouched upon the stone of a way, trembling from a punishment justly earned, bewailing the loss of males as though she were city slave-woman. In full disgust I rose from the crouch, taking my bow with me, feeling the weight of the sword which hung at my side, the comfort of the presence of the dagger in my leg bands. It came to me then that my life sign had not been about my neck when I had faced Chaldrin for my freedom, nor had it been there during the battle in which I had stood with Aysayn and the other males. Mida alone had watched over her warrior, and now a task had been given me which I would see to—and after the task would there be opportunity to mourn the loss of those who were denied me. I caught up the reins of the grazing kan and mounted quickly, then continued on toward the forests which awaited me.