In fact, I liked simply having a refrigerator.
And tables.
I further liked knowing that Ethan would be sharing Lavender House with me that afternoon and evening, and the next, like he did with Gran.
And last, I was looking forward to introducing him to crème patisserie.
He was going to love it.
And I was going to love giving it to him.
“Whatever I have is yours,” I told him.
“Awesome,” he replied.
I smiled and turned into the lane that led us to Lavender House thinking he was right.
Giving whatever I had to Ethan was, indeed, awesome.
* * * * *
“No shit? You know Dee-Amond?” Mickey asked in my ear.
I grinned to the window of the light room where I was reclining on the window seat, drinking tea and chatting to Mickey who’d called five minutes after Jake had come to collect Ethan.
Jake had done this in his normal friendly, lovely Jake way, including partaking of a cream puff and after doing so, reacting to his enjoyment of it by catching me in his arms and giving me a tight hug while declaring I was the best cook he knew and not even my Gran had given him better.
I liked this in a way where I wished I could keep him thinking this way by cooking for him every night. After thinking that, I’d instantly buried the distress I felt that I knew I never would.
They’d left with some swiftness due to the fact that Conner was at work and Amber was supposed to be home shortly after “hanging with her buds” after school and Jake wanted to make sure she got home when she was due and also got her schoolwork done.
He was a very good father.
Actually, he was simply a very good everything.
“Yes, I know Amond,” I told Mickey. “I’ve known him for years.”
“Guy’s a genius,” Mickey told me.
I was fond of hip-hop, I felt it was an underappreciated form of expression, and thus I agreed.
“He is, indeed.”
This was met with silence then I received a soft, “Dig the way you talk, darlin’.”
How lovely.
“I’m glad,” I replied just as softly.
We’d been talking for nearly an hour. The conversation was interesting and easy. It was also entirely led by Mickey who made it this way.
And this made me look forward to our dinner Sunday night even more.
During our conversation, he’d learned a good deal about me, not just that I knew Amond.
I had learned he was divorced and had two children who he shared custody with his ex-wife. He was a volunteer firefighter, his day job was construction and roofing and he’d been boxing on and off since he was twenty, which meant he’d been doing it some time since now he was forty-seven.
Taller than me. Very good-looking. Older than me. And easy to talk to.
Definitely lovely.
“Sucks ‘cause it was cool talkin’ with you,” he started. “But I gotta be at the gym early and then I gotta be on the job so I gotta get goin’.”
This did “suck.”
Even so, I said, “All right, Mickey.”
“See you ringside Saturday.”
Oh dear.
Ringside?
That was close. I didn’t know if I wanted to be that close to a fight.
I didn’t share this with Mickey.
I said, “Yes. See you Saturday.”
“Lookin’ forward to it.”
“Me as well.”
There was humor in his tone when he said, “Later, babe.”
“Later, Mickey.”
I rang off, tossed my phone to the seat, took a sip of tea and stared at the inky night lit with bright moonlight on the sea and twinkling stars in the sky.
I did this thinking that I’d made the right decision to take a break and spend time in Magdalene, being where I felt safest, at Lavender House, getting to know Jake and his family, now meeting Mickey. I didn’t remember when I’d last stayed in one place as long as this without being constantly busy with work and dinners and parties and phone calls and emails and keeping schedules and making arrangements and running errands.
And I sat there hoping that Henry would agree to let me run his life from the computer that was now connected to the internet that was but feet away from me at Gran’s desk.
But I worried he wouldn’t. Although quite a bit of what I had to do was over the phone and on the computer, there was much of it that required me to be at Henry’s side.
I just found that for the first time since I started with Henry, I had little desire to be the very many theres that was working for Henry.
I’d had a beautiful life, seen many amazing things, been many wonderful places, met many vibrant and interesting people.
And I didn’t want that to end, not forever.
That said, this felt good, sipping tea and chatting on the phone with a handsome man who wanted to take me to dinner. Knowing the next day meant more time with Ethan and also more time with Jake. Knowing my life was full and I was busy but there was a steadiness to it that I’d never had but enjoyed greatly.
On this thought, my phone rang.
I looked down, saw the display and what was on it made me snatch it right up, take the call and put it to my ear.
“Hello, Jake,” I greeted.
“Slick,” he replied. “Forgot to ask before I left, am I pickin’ you up for a workout tomorrow?”
There was a nagging ache all throughout my body that was not terrible but it didn’t feel brilliant either.
Even so, I queried in return, “Does Amber have another outfit I can borrow?”
And there was humor in Jake’s tone when he answered, “She has about seven of ‘em.”
“Then the answer is yes. But I’ll meet you at the gym and use your locker room to change there,” I told him.
“Can’t make you an energy shake before we go, you meet me at the gym,” was his reply.
This didn’t sound appealing.
“Uh…” I mumbled.
“Be there at six thirty. Be up. I’ll bring your gear.”
Six thirty?
Earlier, he’d said seven.
And seven was already an hour (or two) too early.
“Uh…” I repeated.
“You’re in charge of coffee.”
“Um…Jake—” I started.
“Shit,” he muttered in a distracted way before I could say more. “Con just walked in. The look on his face, he’s got somethin’ on his mind. Gotta go.”
I had a feeling this had to do with Conner perhaps making another “cut” of one of his “babes.” And if he was sensitive to them and cared about them, regardless of how many there were, this would be unpleasant.
He’d need his dad.
And Jake, being Jake, would be there for him.
My heart swelled, my belly dipped and my head revolted.
It was my head that knew how to react but this had happened with Henry too. When the pain of not having what I so very much wanted escalated before I settled into the knowledge that what I had was better than not having anything at all.
“All right, Jake. See you tomorrow,” I said.
“Yeah, baby. See you,” he replied softly. “Sleep tight.”
“You too.”
“Later.”
“Later, Jake.”
He rang off.
I stared at my phone.
Then I sighed, tossed my phone to the seat, took another sip of my tea and turned my eyes to the sea.
I had a luxurious vehicle. I had a beautiful home with a beautiful view that held beautiful memories. I was becoming part of a beautiful family. I was building a friendship with a beautiful man. And I could take solace in the knowledge that my beautiful grandmother had given all of this to me because she loved me very, very deeply. It was mine. And it was far more than I’d ever had in my life.
Thus, I told myself, I had nothing to complain about and much to relish.
And taking another sip of tea, I decided to do that.