I pressed my lips together and looked away for the warmth I was feeling was so acute, so lovely, even precious, I needed to concentrate on walking so I didn’t get overcome by the feeling and fall flat on my face.
It was within five more feet of our advance when it happened.
And what happened was that a remarkably attractive, tall, buxom redhead approached our parade, crying out, “My babies!”
“Fuck,” Jake muttered.
I quickly glanced up at him as he stopped us.
He no longer looked content.
And I saw when I looked in the direction his eyes were aimed that he stopped us because the advance of our party was halted by the woman bearing down on Amber to give her a tight hug that Amber markedly didn’t return.
The woman didn’t seem to notice as she let Amber go and moved promptly to wrest Conner away from Ellie and do the same.
Unlike his sister, Conner hugged the woman, though it appeared to me that he did this more out of consideration than fondness, and I knew in that instant the woman was Donna, Conner and Amber’s mother.
It was then my study of her heightened and I noted she looked very like her daughter except for the fact she was far more curvaceous. And this last wasn’t lost on me in any way that Donna, Jake’s ex-wife, had big hair and big…other stuff.
Precisely the reason that Donna was Jake’s ex-wife and I would never be Jake’s anything.
She turned to Amber, pouting disingenuously, “You never call.”
Before Amber could reply, her eyes went to her son.
“And if I didn’t see you at Wayfarer’s, I’d never see you.”
“Mom—” Conner started but it was then, two things happened.
One, I noticed a man hovering a bit away, watching these proceedings.
He was very good-looking. He was also quite young. I would place Donna at around my age, no younger, perhaps older. The man hovering in a way that made me think he belonged to her couldn’t be older than thirty, but he could be younger.
And even good-looking, at a glance I knew he wished to be just like Jake. He wanted to have that big man commanding presence, the self-confidence, the manner, but this would always be nothing but a desire. To have what Jake had you had to be born the man he became. You couldn’t want it. You simply were going to be it until you were it.
The other thing that happened was that Donna’s eyes came to Jake and I, took us in quickly with back and forth flicks of her gaze (most specifically our arms around each other), and finally settled on Jake.
“Jake,” she greeted.
“Donna,” he returned.
Her gaze came to me just as I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Ethan was sidling close to Jake.
“This is Josie,” Jake introduced me, unnecessarily indicating I was the Josie he was speaking of by giving me a slight shake.
“Yeah, Lydia Malone’s granddaughter,” Donna stated, her gaze moving the length of me.
“Yes,” I confirmed. “And you’re Conner and Amber’s mother. Lovely to meet you.”
The last was a lie.
It was this because she had once had Jake in the way I wanted him and I had to admit I was envious. I wasn’t proud of that emotion but I couldn’t deny I had it.
It was also a lie because she threw Jake away and I read between the lines of what he told me about their end that this had hurt him and I very much didn’t like that.
It was also a lie because neither of her children had mentioned her once and it was clear at the very least that Amber needed her mother and her mother was not available to her.
It was further a lie because neither Conner nor Amber seemed comfortable in her presence and this spoke volumes.
And last, it was a lie because she had procured a trophy boyfriend who she treated precisely thus. This was likely one of the reasons her children were uncomfortable.
Her having her young man mattered not to me. I had the philosophy to each their own.
However, I didn’t have children but if I did, I would care very much what they thought about the people I spent my time with and if those people were important, I would do what I could to communicate that to my children and make them feel at ease in their presence.
This man didn’t say hello. He barely even approached. And she didn’t introduce him to anyone.
He was on display.
He didn’t matter.
And although Donna was very attractive, I didn’t understand why he would allow her to treat him this way.
She nodded to me and murmured, “Yeah. You too.” Her eyes went to Jake. “Heard you two were an item.”
I braced in order to withstand the blow of Jake correcting her and was more than mildly surprised when he didn’t and remained silent.
She looked back to her kids. “Any chance I’ll see you this weekend?”
“Busy, Mom,” Conner said softly.
She accepted this without comment or apparent rancor and looked to Amber, raising her brows in affectionate inquiry
“Seriously?” Amber asked with some sarcasm and also incredulity.
The Taylors closed in on Amber and I again stiffened at what I read in this action.
“Well, yeah,” Donna, not seeming to read her daughter’s tone or demeanor, replied. “We can do a girls night in tomorrow.” She grinned. “A slumber party.”
Amber’s eyes narrowed angrily before she repeated, “Seriously?”
Donna’s face melted to confusion and she also repeated, “Well, yeah.”
“I haven’t seen you in over a month,” Amber informed her.
That was a long time.
I felt my own eyes narrowing.
“Well—” Donna started.
Amber threw her hand out and declared, “We lost Lydie.”
“Honey—” Jake began quietly, his arm around me loosening and I was certain this was because he intended to go to his girl.
Donna’s expression softened and she said gently, “I know, baby girl. I phoned.”
“You phoned,” Amber spat out. “Once.”
“I—” Donna started again.
But Amber kept spitting. “Save it. We lost Lydie but we got Josie. When we had Lydie, we didn’t need you. Now we have Josie and we still don’t need you.”
Donna looked stricken.
“Amber—” Conner said quietly, warningly but also soothingly.
But it was then Jake moved.
As for me, my mind was at war. I found I absolutely adored what she said at the same time I detested it.
“No!” Amber cried as I felt Ethan get close to me after losing his father who was approaching Amber. Amber lifted up her hand to her dad at the same time I curled my fingers around Ethan’s shoulder. “No,” she repeated, dropping her hand when Jake stopped moving. “I’m good. I’m fine. Everything is just fine. It’s always fine because it has to be.”
She then proved it absolutely was not when her face crumbled and she belatedly attempted to hide this by turning and rushing away.
The Taylors rushed after her.
Ellie gave Conner a look, Conner gave Ellie a nod, and Ellie rushed after her too.
Jake turned to Donna then took four strides to the side, getting out of the lane of traffic of exiting spectators that we had, I hadn’t noticed until just then, been forestalling due to our scene.
As he moved, he caught Donna’s forearm and tugged her along with him.
I didn’t know what to do outside of taking the drama out of the main thoroughfare so I shuffled with them, shuffling Ethan with me.
The silent man that belonged to Donna didn’t make a peep as he moved two feet to the side. He also didn’t even look askance at Jake’s hand on Donna’s arm.
And last, Conner moved with us, his eyes sharp on his mother and father.
With one look at Jake’s face, I had the feeling that an emotional situation was about to worsen significantly.