"You have summoned them!" Gilbert shouted. "Oh, bravely done, Master Wizard!"
Master? I wasn't even a journeyman!
The yelping troll was caught between two packs of little men now. He couldn't even jump off the bridge, because there was a batch of them on each side, pinching and kicking if he came near them. He huddled down into a miserable, wailing bundle, tentacle-arms curled to protect his face. Somehow, I almost felt sorry for him, "Your charity does you credit, but is sadly misplaced."
"Hub?" I looked up to see a bigger-than-average elf standing on the railing by my shoulder. Instead of a red cap, this one wore a coronet your basic, minimal crown.
"Yet 'tis foolishness, also," the little guy went on, "for this monster has no mercy within his flinten skin, no heart, no compassion; he would have devoured you as soon as looked at you."
"I believe it." I glanced at the huddled, moaning granite turnip, then back to the guy with the crown. "Lucky for me you were in the neighborhood. Thanks for the save, Your Majesty."
"Highness," he corrected. "I am a prince of Wee Folk, not a king. And 'tis a hobnailed jest to speak of luck, when 'twas your spell that summoned us."
He glanced at his corps, while I stared. Spell?
Then he turned back with a severe frown. "'Twas unwise of you to venture to cross a bridge without having taken precaution 'gainst that which might dwell beneath it. You know the signs of bridges that were built by trolls to tempt mortals to their doom."
"Uh-no, to tell you the truth, I don't. I'm, uh, kinda new in this country, you see."
"New?" He stared at me. "Have you no trolls whence you come?"
"Not like this," I assured him. "I admit I know some people who could qualify, but they're really human underneath it all."
"This one is not!" He turned on Gilbert, who had come onto the bridge behind me. "You, squire! Assuredly you must know this land - you wear the badge of the Moncaireans! Did you not warn him of his danger?"
"I did not speak quickly enough," Gilbert said contritely.
"Did you not know he was a stranger?"
"I confess I did not realize the depth of his strangeness." I'd heard that before, from other jocks - but I decided not to take offense, this time.
The elfin prince turned back to me. "Do you henceforth survey most closely every bridge that you may come to! If 'tis rudely made, and the ends of the logs show the marks of teeth, not axes, be sure to recite a spell for the banishing of trolls ere you cross." I looked and, sure enough, the ends of the logs did look as if they'd been chewed through. "I didn't think to look," I admitted.
"Even if I had, though, I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it."
"Not thought!" the elf prince and Gilbert cried together.
"Yeah," I admitted ruefully. "I probably would have just thought somebody had used logs that beavers had cut down." The prince and the squire exchanged a glance, then turned back to me. "What are beavers?"
Then I remembered that the flat-tailed rodents with the buck teeth were American fauna only. "Uh, small animals, where I come from, who like to chew on things."
"Most amazing," Gilbert muttered. The elf prince said firmly, "I would not offend you, squire, but you alone are not protection enough for this ignorant man."
"Hey," I objected.
"Not a word!" The prince held up a hand, then turned to snap his fingers at his retinue. "Stand back, and let him rise!"
They looked up, startled. "But, Highness"
"Do as I bid!" Reluctantly, they stepped back.
"Rise, troll," the elf prince said, with a tone that hinted at dire tortotes.
Slowly, the troll uncurled itself and stood up to a shaky eight feet, whining at the back of its throat.
"What is thy name?"
The troll shrank back, but a hail of kicks and pinches made it straighten up with a howl, "Your name," the prince intoned, in a pitch that wavered like the pattern on a Damascus blade.
The troll croaked some incomprehensible pattern of gutturals and rachetings - but it was unmistakably language, if one I couldn't understand.
I stared, amazed that the monster could talk, but the elf prince held up both hands and began to chant something dire. I could tell it rhymed and had meter, but I couldn't have made the first guess as to what the words meant. I only know that it made the troll cower away, hands up to fend off the words, and I caught the grinding and grating of his name in there a couple of times. Then I got a real shock, because the verse ended in my name, "Saul!"
The elf prince clapped his hands, and the troll straightened up, moaning, his huge mitts dropping to his sides.
The prince nodded, satisfied, and turned back to me, fists on his hips. "He is tamed now. I have laid a geas upon him, binding him to go wherever you go and protect you from any thing, beast or man or spirit, that does seek to hurt you."
My mouth dropped open; I stared at the troll, appalled. Then I turned back to the prince to protest that I didn't really want such a gruesome traveling companion, but the prince only held up a hand, palm out. "Nay, do not thank me, I know you wish to protest that I am too kind, but it is our great amusement to protect good mortal folk from such depraved creatures as this."
I wanted to protest, all right, but not about his kindness.
"Your Highness is exceedingly gracious," Gilbert said gravely. I turned to ask him if he was out of his mind, but he was bowing his head to the prince, and I realized anything else might get me in worse trouble than I was in already. No matter what, I didn't want these little guys for enemies. I swallowed my protest and turned around to bow, too - after all, we could always find a way to lose the monster when the elves were out of sight. He didn't look to have too high an IQ. In fact, he didn't look to have an IQ at all.
The prince pointed off toward the cast. "The gorge will narrow a league or so farther on, and you will find there has been a rock slide that will provide a bridge for you."
Something rumbled in the distance, in the direction he was pointing. I wondered how long that rock slide had been there. No, I definitely didn't want these little guys to take a dislike to me.
"Henceforth," he said, with a very severe stare at me, "if you realize that you shall need our help, summon us at once. There is an aura about you that tells me that you shall be vital to the casting out of the rule of evil which we so hate for the trouble and grief it has caused my people; so summon if you so much as think you may have need of us; and be sure, we shall come."
"I'm not really that important." Why did everybody here think I was the solution to all their troubles? I admit I was used to that attitude from the women I met, but supernatural beings were another matter.
"You are," he said, with a steely glare that allowed no argument.
"Call at the slightest need. Till then, farewell! Men of mine! All flit!"
Sunlight got in my eyes; I blinked, and they were gone. There was no one there but Gilbert, his horse, me - and the troll.
I braced myself, ready to run - I didn't think fighting would do much good.
But a very dejected troll came mincing up to me, hanging his head - or the whole top half of his body, at least - and fell to his knees. I backed away, horrified. "All right, all right! I'll have to put up with you - but no kneeling! I hate that!"
The troll scrabbled to his feet, staring down at me expectantly.
"Do you remember my saying anything about agreeing to take this lunk along?" I asked Squire Gilbert.
"Why - you have no choice in the matter, Wizard," he said in surprise. "Neither has the troll."
"Oh, yeah?" I started out across the bridge. "Just watch me." There was a loud groan from below.
I froze. I hadn't stopped to think that Huge-and-Gruesome might have had company. I backed away in a hurry; whatever was under there just might have brains enough to realize that the easy way to get rid of Gruesome's geas was to get rid of me.