"I can't see you," she said.
Leila always made me nervous, despite my fondness for her. She was not a woman to be charmed by a simple smile, and so hiding myself was one of my ways of keeping the upper hand.
"But you know I'm here." I moved closer to her, staying on the edges of the light. The shadows drifted across her face, and she closed her eyes, and smiled again.
"But I can't see you," she said. "How do I know I'm not simply going mad? This could all be a dream."
"You don't expect me to believe you were asleep."
Something flickered in her expression. I caught it because I was looking for it.
"And what do you think I was doing?"
I emerged then, stepping into the light spilling out of her house. She leaned up against her doorframe and watched me.
"There you are," she said, trailing one hand along my cheek, just as my shadows had done to her. "Always a joy to see your face, Naji."
"May I come in?"
"Of course." She held the door open. I could smell the steely scent of river water coming from inside her house, the scent that followed her everywhere. She was saving her money, I knew, in order to move to a new house in the canyon, close to the river where her power would be strongest.
I went inside, and she shut the door behind us.
"So you’re feeling lonely tonight?" she asked, sliding up close to me, slipping her arm in mine. I let her, of course. "Couldn't stand the thought of spending the evening with only those dusty old books?"
"I had a commission."
Her arm stiffened.
"Did you? I take it that it went well, if you're here for a celebratory tumble." She laughed.
I forced myself to ignore her, to not think about the unraveling magic of her touch. "You know it didn't."
"Didn't what?"
"Didn't go well!" I pulled away from her. She blinked up at me, her face guileless. "The target was gone before I got there."
"Are you sure you should be telling me that? I don't think the Order would be glad to know that you let someone beat you to the job--"
"I didn't say he was dead. I said he wasn't there."
She didn't say anything. Her hair fell across her left eye in a way that made me want to push it aside. I didn't.
"The house was drowning in fallout."
"Sounds like he got away, then."
"Someone helped him."
"Oh, Naji, I know it may be hard for you Jadorr'a to understand, but there are people in the Empire with more power than--"
"I saw your damned river flowers all over the place."
She stopped, lifting her chin a little, draping herself against the wall. Her expression changed. It was no longer guileless at all.
"I was hoping they wouldn't send you," she said.
"Where is he?"
She watched me for a few moments without answering. I returned her gaze.
"Did you really think it'd be that easy? That you'd ask and I'd tell you?"
"Darkest night, Leila! I can't go back to the Order unless the commission is completed! This was supposed to be routine."
"So stay here with me." She slid forward and reached out for me. I jerked away from her.
"Where is he?" I asked again, although I knew it was futile trying to intimidate Leila.
She slumped back and sighed. For a moment she looked older than she really was. Ancient. The sight chilled me.
"What made you think this would be simple?" she asked.
"What?"
"This commission. You said it was supposed to be routine. Why would you think that?"
"I didn't think you were going to be involved, for one thing."
Leila narrowed her eyes. "You should never assume that, Naji. And you should never assume a commission is going to be routine."
"Don't tell me how to do my job."
She put her hand on my shoulder. "I really didn't think they'd give him to you." Her voice was soft and stripped bare. I knew she meant it.
"Why not?"
"Because you're young." She looked up at me, her eyes big and luminous. In other circumstances I would have kissed her and finished our conversation in the morning. But not tonight. "Because he's a dangerous man."
"Most people would say I'm a dangerous man."
Leila's face broke open in a smile. Everything about her transformed. "Ah, true enough. But you don't like to hurt people, and he does."
"So why'd you hide him?"
"He paid me." She shrugged. "I've almost got enough to move out of the city." And then she stepped away and I could feel the negative space of her absence. She didn't look at me.
"Fine," I said. "You hid him. You did what he paid you for. I'm assuming he only paid you to hide him once? If the Jadorr'a come after him a second time--"
She looked at me over her shoulder. "Don't," she said, her voice dark. "I told you, he's dangerous. You're in over your head. Go back to the Order and tell them to send someone else."
"I can't do that."
She rolled her eyes and swirled away from me. "You won't be able to find him. I know too much about your tracking spells."
"There are other ways to track someone."
She stopped. Her hand traced along her thigh and her hip, a distracted gesture.
"Leila," I said. "If you're waiting for the rest of his payment, you know I can get that for you."
She didn't answer.
"I'll find him eventually."
Her shoulders hitched, and she looked at me again, her spine curving beneath the thin fabric of her dress. I couldn't look away from her.
She smiled sadly and said, "I'll be praying to the spirits of the river that you don't."
#
After I left Leila's house I slipped through the shadows until I came to a bar on the edge of the city, one that was open despite the late hour. It was also completely empty, and the waiter watched me with alarm as I moved across the room and took a table in the corner, no doubt recognizing the dark robes and carved armor that branded me a member of the Order. That has always been the hardest part of being Jadorr'a. The way people look at you like you're a monster.
I stared at the waiter until he came over and took my order, and then I slouched back in my chair and drummed my fingers against the table. I was putting off communicating with the Order, to be sure, but I also wanted to consider the best way to track the target -- Lisim Sarr. Without my magic, I would have to use his name.
I hated thinking on the names of my targets.
The waiter brought my drink, a slim glass of sugar wine imported from the south. I drank it fast enough that my head spun. I could feel the waiter cowering next to his stack of coffee cups even though I took pains not to look at him.