“Michael, you’ve got to get a grip on yourself,” Rowan said. “Everything is going beautifully, and we are the ones who made it that way. It has gone beautifully since the day after the old woman died. You know, there are times when I think I’m doing what my mother would have wanted. Does that sound crazy? I think I’m doing what Deirdre dreamed of all those years.”
No answer.
“Michael, didn’t you hear what I said to the others?” she asked. “Don’t you believe in me?”
“Just promise me this, Rowan,” he said. He grabbed her hand and slipped his fingers between hers. “Promise me if you see that thing, you won’t keep it secret. You’ll tell me. You won’t keep it back.”
“God, Michael, you’re acting like a jealous husband.”
“Do you know what that old man said?” Michael asked. “When I helped him to the car?”
“You’re talking about Fielding?”
“Yeah. This is what he said. ‘Be careful, young man.’ What the hell did he mean by that?”
“The hell with him for saying that,” she whispered. She was suddenly in a rage. She pulled her hand free from Michael. “Who the hell does he think he is, the old bastard! How dare he say that to you. He doesn’t come to our wedding. He doesn’t come through the front gate-” She stopped, choking on the words. The anger was too bitter. Her trust in the family had been so total, she’d been just lapping it all up, the love, and now she felt as if Fielding had stabbed her, and she was crying again, goddamn it, and she didn’t have a handkerchief. She felt like … like slapping Michael. But it was that old man she’d like to belt. How dare he?
Michael tried to take her hand again. She pushed him away. For a moment, she was so angry, she couldn’t think at all. And she was furious that she was crying.
“Here, Rowan, please,” Aaron said. He put his handkerchief into her hand.
She was barely able to whisper thank you. She used the handkerchief to cover her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Rowan,” Michael whispered.
“The hell with you too, Michael!” she said. “You’d better stand up to them. You’d better stop spinning like a goddamned top every time another piece of the puzzle falls into place! It wasn’t the Blessed Virgin Mary you saw out there in your visions! It was just them and all their tricks.”
“No, that’s not true.”
He sounded sad and contrite, and really raw. It broke her heart to hear it, but she wouldn’t give in. She was afraid to say what she really thought-Listen, I love you, but did it ever occur to you that your role in this was only to see that I returned, that I remained, and that I have a child to inherit the legacy? This spirit could have staged your drowning, your rescue, the visions, the whole thing. And that was why Arthur Langtry came to you, that was why he warned you to get away before it was too late.
She sat there holding it in, poisoned by it, and hoping it wasn’t true, and afraid.
“Please, don’t go on with this,” Aaron said gently. “The old man was a little bit of a fool, Rowan.” His voice was like soothing music, drawing the tension out of her. “Fielding wanted to feel important. It was a boasting match among the three of them-Randall, Peter, and Fielding. Don’t be harsh with him. He’s simply … too old. Believe me, I know. I’m almost there myself.”
She wiped her nose and looked up at Aaron. He was smiling and she smiled too.
“Are they good people, Aaron? What do you think?” She was deliberately ignoring Michael for the moment.
“Fine people, Rowan. Far better than most, my dear. And they love you. They love you. The old man loves you. You’re the most exciting thing that’s happened to him in the last ten years. They don’t invite him out much, the others. He was basking in the attention. And of course, for all their secrets, they don’t know what you know.”
“You’re right,” she whispered. She felt drained now, and miserable. Emotional outbursts for her were never cathartic. They always left her shaky and unhappy.
“All right,” she said, “I’d ask him to give me away at the wedding, damn it, except I have another very dear friend in mind.” She wiped her eyes again with the folded handkerchief, and blotted her lips. “I’m talking about you, Aaron. I know it’s late notice. But will you walk up the aisle with me?”
“Darling, I’d be honored,” he said. “Nothing would give me greater happiness.” He clasped her hand tightly. “Now, please, please don’t think about that old fool anymore.”
“Thank you, Aaron,” she said. She sat back, and took a deep breath before she turned to Michael. In fact she had been deliberately leaving him out. And suddenly she felt terribly sorry. He looked so dejected and so gentle. She said: “Well, have you calmed down or have you had a heart attack? You’re awfully quiet.”
He laughed under his breath, warming at once. His eyes were so brilliantly blue when he smiled. “You know, when I was a kid,” he said, taking her hand again, “I used to think that having a family ghost would be wonderful! I used to wish I could see a ghost! I used to think, ah, to live in a haunted house, wouldn’t that be great!”
He was his old self again, cheerful and strong, even if he was a little ragged at the edges. She leaned over and pressed her lips against his roughened cheek. “I’m sorry I got angry.”
“I’m sorry, too, honey. I’m really sorry. That old man didn’t mean any harm. He’s just crazy. They all have a little craziness. I guess it’s their Irish blood. I haven’t been around lace curtain Irish very much. I guess they’re as crazy as all the others.”
There was a little smile on Aaron’s lips as he watched them, but they were all shaken now, and tired. And this conversation had sapped their last bit of vigor.
It seemed to Rowan that the gloom was descending again. If only this glass were not so dark.
She slumped back, letting her head rest against the leather, and watched the glum shabby city roll by, the outlying streets of wooden double shotgun cottages with their fretwork and long wooden shutters, and the low sagging stucco buildings that seemed somehow not to belong among the ragged oaks and high weeds. Beautiful, all beautiful. The veneer of her perfect California world had cracked, and she’d been thrown into the real true texture of life at last.
How could she let them both know that it was all going to work, that she knew in the end she would triumph, that no temptation conceivable could lure her away from her love, and her dreams, and her plans?
The thing would come, and the thing would work its charm-like the devil and the old women of the village-and she would be expected to succumb, but she would not, and the power within her, nurtured through twelve witches, would be sufficient to destroy him. Thirteen is bad luck, you devil. And the door is the door to hell.
Ah, yes, that was it exactly, the door was the door to hell.
But only when it was over would Michael believe.
She said no more.
She remembered those roses again in the vase on the hall table. Awful things, and that iris with the dark black shivering mouth. Horrid. And worse than all the rest, the emerald around her neck in the dark, cold and heavy against her naked skin. No, don’t ever tell him about that. Don’t talk anymore about any of it.
He was as brave and good as anyone she’d ever known. But she had to protect him now, because he couldn’t protect her, that was plain. And she realized for the first time-that when things really did start to happen, she’d probably be completely alone in it. But hadn’t that always been inevitable?
PART FOUR. THE DEVIL’S BRIDE