“Yes, you’re right,” Aaron said. “But I can’t stop thinking about what those old men said. About being saved. Such a strange legend.”
“They were wrong about that part. She’s the doorway. I knew it somehow or other when I saw that family tomb.”
Aaron only sighed and shook his head. Michael could see that he was dissatisfied, that there were more things he wanted to consider. But what did they matter now? Rowan was alone in that house with that being, and the being was stealing her away from Michael, and Rowan knew all the answers now, didn’t she? The being was telling her the meaning of everything, and Michael had to go home to her.
He watched anxiously as Aaron rose, a little stiffly, and went to the closet for Michael’s coat and gloves.
Michael stood in the entranceway staring at the Christmas tree, with its lights burning brightly even in the light of the day.
“Why did it have to begin so soon?” he whispered. “Why now, at this time of year?” But he knew the answer. Everything that was happening was connected, somehow. All these gifts were connected with some final dénouement, and even his powerlessness was connected.
“Please be very careful,” said Aaron.
“Yeah, I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow night. You know, to me Christmas Eve has always been like New Year’s Eve. I don’t know why. Must be the Irish blood.”
“The Catholic blood,” said Aaron. “But I understand.”
“If you break open that brandy tomorrow night, hoist one for me.”
“I will. You can count on it. And Michael … if for any reason under God you and Rowan want to come here, you know that the door is open. Night or day. Think of this as your refuge.”
“Thank you, Aaron.”
“And one more thing. If you need me, if you really want me to come and believe that I should, well, then, I shall.”
Michael was about to protest, to say that this was the best place for Aaron, but Aaron’s eyes had moved away; his expression had brightened, and suddenly Aaron pointed to the fanlight window over the front door.
“It’s snowing, Michael, look, it’s really snowing. I can’t believe it. It isn’t even snowing in London, and look, it’s snowing here.”
He opened the door and they walked out on the deep front veranda together. The snow was falling in large flakes, drifting with impossible slowness and grace, down through the windless air towards the earth. It was drifting down onto the black branches of the oaks, coating them with a thick shining layer of whiteness, and making a deep white path between the two rows of trees, all the way to the road.
It was falling on the fields which were already blanketed in the same whiteness, and the sky above was shining and colorless, and seemed to be dissolving into the falling snow.
“And the day before Christmas Eve, Aaron,” said Michael. He tried to see the entire spectacle-this venerable and famous avenue of old trees raising their dark knotted arms into the tumbling and gently whirling flakes of snow. “What a little miracle, that it should come now. Oh, God, it would all be so wonderful if … ”
“May all our miracles be little ones, Michael.”
“Yes, the little miracles are the best, aren’t they? Look at it, it’s not melting when it hits the ground. It’s really staying there. It’s going to be a white Christmas, no doubt about it.”
“But wait a minute,” said Aaron, “I almost forgot. Your Christmas present, and I have it right here.” He reached inside the pocket of his sweater and he took out a very small flat package. No bigger than a half dollar. “Open it. I know we’re both freezing, but I’d like it if you’d open it.”
Michael tore the thin gold paper, and saw immediately that it was an old silver medal on a chain. “It’s St. Michael, the archangel,” he said, smiling. “Aaron, that’s perfect. You’re speaking to my superstitious Irish soul.”
“Driving the devil into hell,” said Aaron. “I found it in a little shop on Magazine Street while you were gone. I thought of you. I thought you might like to have it.”
“Thank you, old buddy.” Michael studied the crude image. It was worn like an old coin. But he could see the winged Michael with his trident over the horned devil who lay on his back in the flames. He lifted the chain, which was long so that he didn’t have to unclasp it, and he put it over his head, and let the medal drop down under his sweater.
He stared at Aaron for a moment, and then he put his arms around him, and held him close.
“Be careful, Michael. Call me very soon.”
Forty-nine
THE CEMETERY WAS closed for the night but it didn’t matter. The darkness and the cold didn’t matter. At the side gate the lock would be broken, and it would be very simple for her to push the gate back, and then shut it behind her, and move along the snow-covered path.
She was cold but that didn’t matter either. The snow was so beautiful. She wanted to see the tomb covered with snow.
“You’ll find it for me, won’t you?” she whispered. It was almost full darkness now and they would be coming soon, and she didn’t have much time.
You know where it is, Rowan, he said in that fine subtle voice inside her head.
And she did. That was true. She was standing in front of the tomb, and the wind was chilling her, passing right through her thin shirt. There were twelve neat little headstones, one for each vault, and above was the carving of the keyhole door.
“Never to die.”
That is the promise, Rowan, that is the pact that exists between you and me. We are almost at the moment of beginning …
“Never to die, but what did you promise the others? You promised them something. You’re lying.”
Oh, no, my beloved, no one matters now but you. They’re all dead.
All their bones lying underneath in the frozen blackness. And the body of Deirdre, perfect still, shot full of chemicals, cold inside the satin-lined box. Cold and dead.
“Mother.”
She can’t hear you, beautiful one, she’s gone. You and I are here.
“How can I be the doorway? Was it always meant that I would be the doorway?”
Always, my darling, and the time has almost come. One more night you’ll spend with your angel of flesh and blood, and then you’ll be mine forever. The stars are moving in the heavens. They are shifting into the perfect pattern.
“I can’t see them. All I can see is the snow falling.”
Ah, but they are there. It is the very deepest part of winter, when all that would be reborn sleeps safe in the snow.
The marble felt like ice. She put her fingers into the letters, DEIRDRE MAYFAIR. She couldn’t reach the engraving of the keyhole door.
Come now, darling, come back to the house and the warmth. It’s almost time. They’re all coming-my children, the great clan of Mayfair, all my progeny-grown rich in the warm shadow of my wing. Back to the hearth now, beloved, but tomorrow, tomorrow, you and I shall be alone in the house. And you must drive your archangel away.
“And you’ll show me how to be the doorway?”
You know, my darling. In your dreams and in your heart you’ve always known.
She walked swiftly over the snow, her feet wet, but it didn’t matter. The streets were empty and shining in the gray dusk. The snow was so light now it seemed a mirage. They’d be coming soon.
Was the tiny baby inside her cold?
Lemle had said, “There are thousands of them-millions, chucked like garbage down the drains of the world-all those tiny brains and organs lost.”