1 Dopes mope.
Unfortunately, this sitch is not going to improve until you make it happen. Don’t sit around waiting for reacceptance. Even if you have to force yourself to smile, try it. Research shows that smiling actually makes you feel better. Truly. Give it a shot… no, don’t stop yet. You have to keep doing it. Uh-huh. Yes, that’s it. There you go…
2 Become a “Say cheese!” whiz.
Get involved in an activity that draws people to you. Everybody loves to have their picture taken, so join the school yearbook staff and start clicking. Or start a band if you play an instrument. If you like to cook, share samples of your best work at lunch. Local museums often offer courses, so take an art class in a fab new setting.These activities should not only be fun, but they’ll also boost your confidence and send some well-earned attention your way. And, yeah: Your old crowd will definitely realize what it’s missing!
3 One-on-one.
Though it’s nice to be part of a group, the best friendship moments often come when you’re doing something fun with just one good friend. Now’s the perfect time to “remeet” one of the chicas in your class that you’ve known forever but haven’t hung out with in a while (or ever!). Make a plan to do something fun together. Or imagine how thrilled the new girl who just moved to town would be if you invited her to the movies. Middle school is your time to explore all sorts of new things, and pairing up with a new friend is a great way to start.
It’s Saturday night and all of your friends are getting ready to go to the party of the year… to which you weren’t invited. How will you cope? You can have an equally great night! (Haven’t you ever heard of a “party of one”?)
First, fix yourself a healthy beverage (smoothie, anyone?), then head to the bathroom. Turn on some tunes, drop some bubble bath in the tub, and once the water gets thick with suds, climb in and relax. Soak until you’ve turned into a human prune, or until another family member starts banging on the door and demands you get out. Once you’ve dried off, file your nails, buff your feet, and apply polish to all twenty digits. By the end of the night, you’ll be completely chillaxed and gorgeous!
How to Handle Wardrobe Emergencies
Oh. My. Gosh! You walked out of your house, got on the bus, and made it halfway down the hall to homeroom before you were clued in to the fact that your shirt is practically see-through, and everyone can see the bumblebee pattern on your bra! Or you sat on some paint in art class, and the whole school thinks you got your you-know-what.
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! And it demands to be said again: Uuuggghhh!
Wardrobe disasters can make you want to crawl under your desk and stay there till the final bell rings. But if you remember these tricks, you’ll be able to hold your head up without wanting to barf all over your shirt (which would be another monstrous mishap).
1 Pinky promise.
Make a pact with one friend—your “go-to girl” who can be trusted completely—that you will tell each other if a funky stain ever materializes on your butt, or if your shirt is transparent. If your girl whispers, “Damage!” proceed to #2.
2 Locker up.
No, this doesn’t mean hide in your locker. It means that you were given a locker for just such emergencies, so keep an extra sweater or hoodie in there (or at the bottom of your book bag). Once you have that extra piece of clothing safely in hand, wrap it around your waist or over your shirt, and voilà! Problem solved!
3 Store secret supplies.
Someone you know (possibly even you) will get her period at school. Rather than being caught unprepared, do yourself a favor and keep some supplies in a non-see-through pencil case in your purse, book bag, or in the back of your locker. That way, if Aunt Flow visits you or your friend during the school day, you can minimize the mortification.
4 Presto, change-o!
A classic magician’s trick can also be of use to you: Distract attention! You never see a magician switching a coin from one hand to another because he has drawn your eyes elsewhere. Keep a candy necklace or big plastic ring in a supply box in your locker, and pop it on so that if people start staring, they’ll focus on the delicious candy around your neck, not the stain on your jeans.
5 Professional help.
If all else fails, the school nurse or a female teacher often has stuff that can help in a pinch. Since these pros have seen it all before, you can feel comfortable asking them for assistance if you need it.
How to Survive When a Secret Gets Out
Secrets can be tough to keep secret, especially if you share them in a public place where you can be (wince) overheard! If you find you’ve said too much at just the wrong time, here’s how to deal.
1 Don’t be “crushed.”
Your crush rolls up just as you’re confessing how much you like him. Whoops! After the color of your face downgrades from purple to pink, smile at him. Say something like, “Okay, so yes: I said you’re cute, because you are. That’s your compliment for the day. You may now feel free to compliment me anytime you’d like.” And with that, walk away. Ha-cha!
2 Request respect.
You can’t take your words back, but you can gently remind whoever overheard that the info is private. Tell them that you trust they’re good at keeping secrets.
3 Zip it up in the bathroom.
To avoid future secret spills, beware of talking privately in places where unseen listeners can lurk. Don’t assume you’re alone in the girls’ room just because you don’t see anyone. Same goes for stairwells—you never know who’s on the next landing.
Appendix
SOME STEPS TO HELP YOU THROUGH A SCHOOL DANCE
1. Put your left foot forward while sliding your right foot backward.
2. Put your right foot forward while sliding your left foot backward.
3. Repeat.
4. Look: You’re running!
5. Change direction! Wave at passersby!
6. Oh no! A mean dog is chasing you! Run faster!
1. Bend down and grab the starter cord.
2. Pull the starter cord up and to the left! Again! Again!
3. Grab the imaginary handle of the mower.
4. Bring your left foot forward. Right foot forward.
5. Look: You’re pushing a lawn mower!
6. Wipe a bead of sweat from your brow. Dodge a bee! Drink some water!