It doesn’t matter. I will play this game. See the doctor. Do what he wants me to do. Stay until he finds this man who wants to hurt me.
With my mind made up, I enter the bathroom, this time shutting the door behind me. I brush my teeth, wash my face, and clean myself up. I stare at my reflection in the mirror, cringing when I see small bite marks on my neck. No matter how good he is at sex, how big his dick is, and how he truly sets me off like no one else, my heart needs to stay guarded around him. He’s a man who can’t be trusted. A man who will destroy me again if I give him the chance.
There are a lot of songs out there about being crazy. I think they all were written with women like me in mind. I feel like a racquetball being slammed up against the wall with the way my thoughts go from wanting him one minute, then the next biding my time to get away from him.
By the time I exit the bathroom, Cain is already in bed texting on his phone, his long fingers moving swiftly across the screen. He glances up at me briefly, turns, and plugs his phone into the charger. God, I would give anything to get my hands on a phone, just to let my family know I’m all right. I’m smart enough to know I can’t do that. Not until I investigate for myself this asshole who is after me. An idea goes off in my head. I can use the skills I’ve worked hard at cultivating to help bring this piece of shit down.
“Come here,” Cain beckons.
“Geez. You’re like a tyrant on a bossy power trip. I’m coming.”
I crawl up the bed and settle my body next to his.
“You’re a little hellcat, you know that? You’re going to be a great lawyer.”
Sweet baby Jesus. He can be nice when he wants to be. I snuggle into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
“I hope so. Speaking of which, you should let me help you find this Kryder guy. I have resources, you know.”
I tread lightly with my words. I’m hoping he will let me. It might move things along faster.
“You can help me from here. Work by my side if you want, and we can see what we can come up with. He’s vanished. He has others do all of his dirty work; picking up drugs, distribution of them. You name it. Someone else is doing it. We’ve caught many of his men, and not a single one of those fuckers will talk. It’s like they would rather get the shit beat out of them, lose a limb, or worse, die before they betray that animal.”
My face crumples.
“Wow. Death, you say? Have you killed before?”
Silently, I lay there waiting for him to answer but afraid to hear it.
“No. But I came close once.”
I swallow, wondering if he’s going to continue and tell me what happened. He doesn’t. He turns off the light and pulls me in even tighter to his warm body.
“This right here, watching you climb in bed with me and holding you will always be the best part of my day,” Cain mumbles sleepily.
“Mine too,” I say, before falling asleep snuggled against the man I will always love but the man whose life is about to toss me right back into hell.
***
I moan from the warmth of sunlight against my face, wondering how long I’ve been asleep. Yawning, I stretch and open both of my eyes to look for Cain. I’m in bed alone.
Swinging my legs around, I climb out of bed, the soreness between my legs evidence of a night of rough sex with the first step I take.
Padding in my bare feet to the bathroom, I nearly scream when I see myself in the mirror. My hair is a tangled up mess, snarly and matted to my head. Everything can wait, Cain included. I turn on the shower, pull his t-shirt over my head, and walk in.
The hot spray drenches my hair. Grabbing the only bottle of shampoo, I quickly wash and rinse, cursing along the way when I can’t find conditioner. I soap my body, rinse off, and reach for a clean towel on the shelf. When I’m dry, I throw the shirt back on and make my way through this monstrosity of a house in search of Cain, in utter need of coffee.
I come to a halt when I hear raised voices from the kitchen. One I know is Manny, the other Cain, and the third I don’t recognize at all.
“You need to tell her the truth man. If she finds out...” Manny says.
“Shut the hell up, fucker. I’ll tell her. Jesus, don’t you think she’s got enough to deal with right now? Shit, Manny. You know better than anyone how much she means to me. My first priority right now is keeping her safe. And you need to find that rotten snitch,” Cain says to the unknown man.
“I’ve told you all along who I think it is, but you’ve ignored me. Maybe now that your wife is here, you’ll pull those blinders off of your dick and believe me,” Unknown man retorts.
Do I stand here and take my chances of getting caught? I’m desperate to know who he is talking about. My back is up against the wall. I slither down the hallway a little closer only to hear Manny’s voice get louder like he’s right on the other side.
“Good morning!” I say chirpily, as if I didn’t just hear a conversation I had no business hearing.
“Morning, babe.”
I steal a smug glance at Manny as I pass him by on my way to Cain where he is leaned up against the counter in dark jeans, again with the dark t-shirt and his vest. Arms crossed and hair freshly washed, he smells edible when I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss him on his cheek.
“Jesus Christ!” Manny and unknown man both shout at the same time.
I whip around, plastering my back against Cain’s front.
“What?” I screech, my eyes scanning the floor for a mouse or something.
“Dress your fucking woman, you asshole!” Manny hollers, while unknown man can’t seem to take his eyes off my ass, even though it’s plastered up against Cain.
“Oh, my God!”
“It sure as shit isn’t, ‘Oh, my God,’ sweetheart. It’s more like, ‘Oh, my fucking God, that chick has one hell of a nice ass,’” Unknown man says.
Cain draws me in tight. His hands spanning my waist territorially.
“Bronzer enough, you pervert. Calla, go,” he orders, squeezing me a bit before pushing me away.
“May I have some coffee first?”
“Fuck, no. And don’t come back out until I say.”
Oh, I am pissed now. Is this how he thinks he is going to talk to me around everyone? Is this how all these rat bastards talk to their wives and girlfriends? Oh, no. Not me. I storm back to the bedroom like a scolded child and plop my ass on the bed. He has five minutes or I’m walking out there with absolutely nothing on and he can shove his bossy male stick up his ass.
Five minutes turns into ten. It’s eight o clock and I’m beyond mad.
Raised voices are heard once again when I creep into the kitchen. All three of them stop talking and look at me like I’m intruding. And I am. I don’t care. None of them have moved from their spots.
“I thought I told you-”
“Stop,” I say, holding my hand up.
“Let me tell you a little something about me, which Manny should know, being that he has followed me around for a few years. You do NOT mess with me and my coffee!” I yell. “I’ve lived off of that stuff for six years. It’s the only thing that I crave, the only thing I need, and you’d better give me a damn cup right the fuck now!”
“Damn, woman. You really are a feisty one,” Unknown man says.
“And you are?”
I turn and face him, knowing full well what his name is. It cracks me up all these nicknames everyone has for each other. Makes me curious to know what they call Cain. I stick my hand out for him to shake.
“Bronzer,” he replies politely, taking my hand into his big one.
“Ah. Nice to meet you. Priscilla is your wife, right?”
He grins at the mention of her name.