Mom hugs me before she steps off the elevator.
“Call me when you’re ready to fill out the paperwork for NYU, sweetie.”
“I will.”
I turn to my handsome father. My protector. My lifesaver.
“Dad.”
He pulls me into his arms.
“Thank you,” I whisper into his ear.
He holds me tight for the longest time, then releases me, kissing my forehead and sighing heavily.
“I’m proud of you, sweetie,” he winks at me as the doors of the elevator close.
“And I’m proud to be your daughter. Both of you,” I say to myself.
The minute we walk into the apartment, I gasp.
“Oh, my God!”
It’s more like a damn mansion sitting on top of the world. Dropping my bag, I gawk, jaw slack. The foyer is slick with dark wood floors. I bypass the living room and head straight to the kitchen, which is all white except for the slate-gray tiled floors. It has a large window that overlooks the entire city. The Empire State Building. The MetLife building. This view is remarkable. I can’t wait until nighttime to see it all lit up.
Cain’s arms encircle my waist. I lean back against his shoulders, taking it all in.
“Is this where you would stay when you came to the city?” I ask inquisitively when I enter the living room, greeted by more windows overlooking another part of the city. The walls are all white, the modern furniture a deep, rich tan.
“I stayed here a few times. Not many.”
He grabs my hand and leads me into a giant office lined with shelves of books. A sleek wooden desk sits in the center.
“This is amazing.”
Cain’s eyes hit mine. A hint of mischievousness glimmers in his deep-set eyes.
“Come here,” he beckons, extending his hand out to me. He pulls me down the hall and into the biggest bedroom I have ever seen.
You could live in this room. Off to the right sit two deep gray, couches underneath yet more windows. There is also a chaise lounge next to a fireplace, and another desk.
The large king size bed sits on the other side of the room, facing the windows.
Cain sweeps me up in his arms, carrying me in the direction of the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I giggle lightly.
He sets me gently down.
“This is heaven!” I exclaim, sliding my eyes to the claw foot tub sitting by a window. There is a walk-in shower off to the left and a vanity with two sinks to the right. Gravity pulls me in the direction of the tub.
“Take a bath. Relax. I’ll make us some dinner,” says Cain.
I raise my hands in defeat.
“No argument from me.”
I smile happily and kiss him tenderly on the lips.
“Do you need a pain pill?”
“Nope. I have everything I need right here.”
He stares at me for a long moment. I can tell his mind is working, wondering if I’m telling the truth.
“I’m good. Really. Now, I’m starving.”
I try and shoo him out.
“Let me see what I can find to make. Lola had her housekeeper stock us with food.”
“Cheeseburger!” I holler at his retreating back.
“I knew it,” he yells back.
I sigh, taking in my surroundings. I could definitely get used to this.
I lay my head back, staring out into the late afternoon/early evening skyline of New York City. My muscles tight from lack of exercise loosen up. It’s my brain that won’t relax, won’t stop twitching. I’ve hidden my memories well and I will continue to do so from everyone.
It’s like I’m doomed to relive the entire night from beginning to end, over and over. Drugged. Punched. Manny. Screaming. Royal’s seedy, repugnant eyes. Emerald, fixated on killing me. The loss of our baby, a baby we would have loved so much. It won’t leave me alone.
Will it ever go away? All I can see is the cutest little blue eyed, dark-haired little boy, wrestling around on the floor with his father, or sitting on my lap while I read him a story. I splay my hands across my belly, saying a silent prayer to give me the strength and courage to carry on.
This is the first time I’ve been alone to be able to cry and mourn the loss of a baby I never even knew existed. The tears flow out freely, and I let them. When I’ve cried my last, I puff out a breath and submerge my body under the water, allowing pleasant memories of the last time I did this back at Cain’s house take hold over the disturbing ones.
I bolt upright, thinking I might catch him again, but the doorway is vacant. Laughing inwardly, I reach for the soap when a wave of the scent of cooking burgers hits my nose, shooting straight to my stomach. I hurry up and finish bathing, and drain the tub. I moan from the soft feel of the plush bath mat between my toes.
Wrapping the oversized towel around my waist, I pad out into the bedroom. Not having any idea where my clothes are, I open the closest dresser, squealing in delight when I see all of my bras folded neatly on the top shelf. Choosing to be bold, I reach for the red lace push up with matching panties. I pull out a few more drawers until I find my University of Windsor t-shirt. It’s old and has a hole under the arm, but it’s the softest shirt I own. I love it!
With a plan in my head, the nightmares get shoved aside. I hang the towel up and stroll out of the bedroom in search of that cheeseburger.
***
“I’m exhausted, you ready for bed?” Cain asks as soon as I hang up the phone with my mom. During dinner, I devoured my cheeseburger at the kitchen table. Notice I said table. Cain wanted to sit out on the deck. I may love the view, but I’m not ready to see it from there yet. As it was, I stood frozen in the kitchen when Cain told me he was grilling outside. No damn way am I ready to go out there. Maybe never.
He leans down and lifts me up like a child, carrying me all the way to the bedroom, where he lays me down softly on the bed.
“The doctor cleared me for sex.”
A grin tugs the corners of his mouth.
“Really?”
He reaches into the back pocket of his jeans, pulls out his wallet, and sets it on the nightstand. Then he unbuttons his jeans. I watch them, holding my breath when they drop to the floor. His half-hard dick permanently marked with its sign of ownership springs free.
“Yeah,” I hiss, breathing out heavily. I sit up, whip my shirt over my head, and throw it down by his jeans.
“Fucking hell,” he growls, staring at my boobs spilling out of my red bra.
I lie back, spreading my legs wide and walking my fingers down my stomach slowly until they edge across the waistband of my matching panties.
“You like?” I ask playfully.
“Don’t,” he warns, placing one knee on the bed.
He removes my hand and straddles me. He grabs my other hand and entwines them both with his.
We kiss deeply, passionately, and very slowly. My hands start to roam everywhere when he releases them finally. I’ve missed him.
“I want you,” I say after he’s been feasting on my neck for several minutes.
“I want you, too.”
He reaches for his wallet, pulling out a condom. He tears it open and slides it down his cock. It’s a shame to cover up. Just a few weeks until I see the doctor and it will never have to be shielded again.
My bra and panties have long been tossed somewhere. Our bodies are naked and sweaty. Cain dips his finger inside of me as he slowly kisses and licks my neck. When he hits my clit with his thumb, I begin to moan, his name falling from my lips. Teasingly, he makes his way down my body with his tongue, stroking lightly down the center of my breasts and circling around my belly button, stopping just shy of my aching core.
“Cain!” I cry out when his mouth hovers over my clit, his warm breath causing me to damn near come on the spot.