Scott, too, smiled ruefully. “That is a strange way of looking at things. Maybe. But when we were together, well, there were times it wasn’t that bad.”
“You weren’t living a lie like I was.”
“Lie is a strong word.”
“Look, Scott, I don’t want to fight over past fights again, if that makes sense.”
For a moment they remained silent, then Sally added, “We’re getting sidetracked. This isn’t about where we were, it’s about where we can go or even who we are. And most important, it’s about Ashley.”
“Okay,” Scott said, feeling that some huge swamp of emotions was between them that was never spoken of and never would be.
“I have a plan,” Sally blurted.
“Good,” he said after taking a deep breath. He wasn’t sure that he meant that.
“I don’t know if it is a good one. I don’t know if it will work. I don’t know if we can pull it off.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“We shouldn’t be talking on the phone. At least not on these lines.”
“Right. Of course not. That makes sense.” He wasn’t at all sure why this made sense, but he said it anyway. “I’ll be over straightaway.” He hung up the phone and thought that there was something awful in the routines of life. Teaching, living alone with all the ghosts of statesmen, soldiers, and politicians that made up his courses, his existence was completely predictable. He guessed that that was going to change.
Hope returned to the house before Scott arrived. She had been out walking, trying without much luck to sort through all that was happening. She found Sally in the living room, poring over some loose sheets of paper, pencil stuck in her mouth. She looked up when Hope entered.
“I have a plan. I’m not sure it will work. But Scott’s coming over and we can go over it together.”
“Where are my mother and Ashley?”
“Upstairs. Not at all pleased with being banned from the conversation.”
“My mother doesn’t appreciate being excluded from things, which is a curious position for someone who has spent much of her adult life living in the woods in Vermont, but there you have it. That’s the way she is.” Hope hesitated, and Sally looked up as if she heard a catch in Hope’s voice.
“What is it?”
Hope shook her head. “I don’t know exactly, but try to follow me on this. She’s doing what we ask her to, right? Well, that’s just not her style. Not in the slightest. She’s always been a lone-wolf type, the I don’t give a damn what other people think sort of person. And her seeming compliance…well, I’m not sure that we should rely on her ever doing exactly what we ask her to. She’s just a bit of a loose cannon. It’s what my dad always loved about her, and me, too, except, upon occasion, growing up, it made things, well, difficult, if you catch my drift.”
Sally smiled. “Are you all that different?”
Hope shrugged, but laughed in response. “I guess not.”
“And don’t you think that I might have been attracted to those qualities, as well?”
“I never thought of stubborn and unpredictable as my best sides.”
“Well, just goes to show what you know.” Sally managed a small grin as she dipped her head to the paperwork spread out on her lap.
The two women were both silent. Oddly, Hope thought, it was the first affectionate thing Sally had said in weeks.
There was a knock on the door. “That will be Scott,” Sally said. She gathered her papers together as Hope went to let him in. In the second or two of solitude, she put her head back and took in a deep breath. Once you start this thing moving, there will be no going back.
Catherine fumed inwardly. She looked across at the younger woman, until finally Ashley dashed her book to the floor after reading the same page for the third time and said, “I don’t know if I can stand this much longer. I’m being treated like a six-year-old. Being sent to my room. Told to keep myself occupied while my parents map out my future. God damn it, Catherine, I’m not a baby! I can fight for myself.”
“I agree, dear,” Catherine said.
“You know, I should take that damn pistol and just solve this problem once and for all.”
“I believe, Ashley, dear, that’s in some ways what your parents are trying to avoid. And I didn’t get you that gun so that you could go off and use it willy-nilly, just because you’re pissed off. I got it so that you could protect yourself, if O’Connell came after you.”
Ashley leaned her head back. “He has, you know.”
“Has what, dear?”
“He’s come after me. He’s probably outside right now. Just waiting.”
“Waiting, dear?”
“For the right moment. He’s crazy. Crazy in love. Crazy obsessed. Crazy I don’t know what. But he’s there. He has only one thing of any importance in his life, and it is me.”
Catherine nodded. She suddenly leaned forward. “Can you do it?”
Ashley opened her eyes and stared across the room, first fixing on Catherine, then on the shoulder bag that contained the pistol.
“Can you do it?” Catherine repeated.
“Yes,” Ashley answered stiffly. “I can. I can. I know it.”
“I couldn’t. I should have. With the shotgun when he was right across from me. I should have. But I didn’t. Can you be stronger than I was, dear? Can you be more determined? Are you braver?”
“I don’t know. But, yes. I think so.”
“I need to know.”
“How can anyone know, until they actually do it? I mean, I’m angry enough. Maybe scared enough. But can I pull the trigger? I think so.”
“I imagine you could,” Catherine said. “At least maybe you could. The chances are, you could. It’s dark out. Are you convinced he’s out there?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you could end it all by putting the pistol in your jacket pocket and taking a walk with me around midnight. And when he tried to stop us, you act. He might say he just wants to talk with you, that’s what they always say. But instead of talking you just shoot him. Right there. Right then. The police will come and probably arrest you. And then we can have your mother hire the best attorney. Take your chances in a court of law. It’s not exactly as if this community, where your mother and Hope live, is particularly predisposed to giving men-and especially men who have been stalking a young woman-much leeway. Or, for that matter, the benefit of any doubt whatsoever.”
“You think…”
“I think you can do it if you’re willing to pay the price.”
“Prison?”
“Maybe. Notoriety. Being the poster child for every person with some other agenda, which will surely happen, just as your folks have predicted it would. But it might be worth it.”
Ashley rocked her head back. “I can’t stand this for much longer. One minute I’m terrified. The next I’m furious. I feel safe one second. Then threatened the next.”