Invisible pins stab at my skin. I don’t want to hate my sister . . . I really don’t . . . but I kinda hate her right now.
“Why’d she say I was going?” My voice sounds so hollow.
“That doesn’t matter.” He rises to his feet, steps off the porch, and strides over to the fence. “Where are you going, though?”
“Overseas with my grandma, which probably sounds lame, but I’m actually looking forward to it.”
“It doesn’t sound lame at all.”
“Not even the going-with-the-grandma part?”
He shakes his head, waving me off. “Nah, grandmas can be cool sometimes. Is yours?”
“She’s like the Queen of Cool Grandmas. Seriously. She’s the one who taught me how to drive. And I’m talking, like floor-your-car-to-the-max kind of driving. She taught me how to swim too, in a pool that was closed. We had to sneak in through this hole in the fence. She even let me try beer for the first time.” I pause, realizing something. “You know, without her, I might have ended up lacking a lot of necessary life skills. Well, beside the drinking-the-beer part. I don’t think that’s a life skill.”
“Oh, that can be a life skill,” he assures me with a devious grin, and I repress one of my own, not wanting to encourage him. “She does sound pretty cool, though.”
I bob my head up and down in agreement, fully aware of how lucky I am to be going on this trip with the coolest grandma ever.
“You’ll have to post some pictures so I can see all the awesome things you do on this trip,” Kai says, squinting against the sunlight.
I snort a laugh. “Oh, Kai, and your silly little jokes. We both know I’m not cool enough for social media.”
“That wasn’t meant to be a joke.” He stuffs his hand into his pocket and retrieves his phone. “But if you’re really that anti-social, then I’ll give you my number and you can send all of your awesome photos to me. It’ll make me feel special too.”
I roll my eyes, but give him my number so he can text me his. I don’t really think he’s going to do it, but two seconds later, my phone vibrates from inside the pocket of my jeans.
“Have fun on your trip. And I mean that, Isa. Have fun. You deserve it, more than anyone.” He gives me a strange look as he puts his phone away, like he can’t quite figure something out, then swiftly clears his throat. “Yeah, but the whole point of me coming over here was to give you a little advice.”
I pull a wary face. “I’m not sure I want to hear your advice.”
He offers me one of his infamous sexy, playful pouts. “Why not?”
“Because . . .” I sigh heavy-heartedly when his sexy, playful pout turns into genuine sulking. “Fine. You can give me advice, just as long as it’s not an ‘It’ll Get Better After High School’ speech. I don’t want to hear any of those. I’ve heard too many of those kinds of speeches.”
“It’s not one of those. I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle through Hannah’s eye.” He draws an X across his chest, giving me a lopsided grin.
I can’t help but grin goofily back at him. “I’m surprised you remember that.”
“Of course I remember that. We used to say it all the time.”
“Yeah, but that was a long time ago, back when we were actually kind of friends.”
An awkward quiet fills the air between us as the past hovers over our heads.
See, once upon a time, Kai and I used to hang out. And not in the way Kyler and I hung out for a few weekends while I helped him improve his free shot skills and he opened up to me once. Unlike Kyler, Kai and I were actually friends. Well, sort of. For most of seventh grade, he walked home with me after school. He always seemed sad about something as we strolled up the sidewalk toward his house. While I could never figure out what had him feeling so blue, I did learn some stuff about him that no one else knew. Like he’s secretly into comic books. Likes zombie movies. And listens to 80s punk rock.
During the time we spent together, I always tried to cheer him up—it was the least I could do for him for not being too embarrassed to walk home with me. Sometimes my jokes made him smile. Other times, he seemed too stuck in his head. But even if the walk was filled with quietness, it was nice to have a friend.
After a few months of walking home together, he started hanging out with me on weekends. We’d mostly stay in my room, and sometimes we’d go to the park. I was really starting to believe we had a chance at becoming real, seen-in-public friends. But then came the dreaded day when one of his friends caught us hanging out at the park, and he started making fun of Kai for ‘being in love with a loser’. Kai panicked and told his friend I was stalking him, and that was the last time we walked home together.
“My advice was actually about your sister,” Kai says, breaking the silence between us. “I was going to say you need to do something to get her to leave you alone. You’ve put up with her shit for too long.”
I stuff my hands into the pocket of my hoodie. “When you say ‘do something to get her to leave you alone’, are you talking like mafia-style? Or like how Penny Milerford got Nora Benninting to leave her alone by punching her in the face? Because I’m not a mobster, nor a crazed honor roll student who may or may not be on crack.”
“Penny isn’t on crack. That’s just a stupid rumor.” His expression hardens as he backs away from the fence. “People need to stop spreading shit around about other people, just because they think something’s wrong.” He starts up the porch stairs, and I figure our conversation is over until he stops in front of the door and turns around. The intensity pouring out of his eyes startles the crap out of me, because he never directs that kind of look on me. With me, it’s always joke-this or joke-that. Look at me. I’m so funny and cute. Yada, yada, yada. “And, Isa. I meant for you to do whatever you feel you need to do to get her to stop treating you so shitty. Stand up for yourself, okay? She’s not any better than you, no matter what she thinks.” His crazed look softens.
“Since when are you so anti-Hannah? You used to flirt with her all the time.”
That’s the thing with both Kyler and Kai. While Kyler is mostly nice to me, and Kai spends a lot of time teasing me, neither of the guys have shown me the attention they’ve shown Hannah. Over the years, particularly when we all got in high school, both of them have spent a ton of time flirting with her and her friends, checking her out, and trying to get her attention.
“I only flirt with her when I’m bored,” Kai says, seeming bored right now. “But I get that she’s a bitch. And I haven’t liked her since I . . .” He trails off, but I know what he’s going to say. Since I went off the deep end and went all bad boy. “But anyway, have fun on your trip.” He winks at me, going from serious to joking in two seconds flat. “And bring back something super cool for your most awesome, super sexy next door neighbor.”
“Huh? Who am I supposed to bring the present back for?” I glance around, pretending to be confused.
His eyes narrow to slits, but he grins. “You know exactly who I’m talking about. The guy who fills up all of your dreams.”
“You mean Johny Palerson?” I feign innocence.
He snickers. “I forgot about your little seventh grade crush on that douche.” He pauses. “You’re still not into him, are you?”
“I’m more into him than my cocky neighbor next door,” I quip with a sassy smirk.
His eyes darken as he backs away from me. “You know, if you bring me back a present, it means that’s not true. That you do really like me.” He winks at me again and walks into the house before I can get another word out.
His advice echoes in my head.
He may joke around a lot with me, but when he gets all serious, he actually gives pretty good advice.
I make a vow to myself right then and there that when I get back from this trip, things will change. I’m not sure how it’s going to happen, but if I can survive seventeen years of being picked on, I sure as hell can figure out a way to finally make it stop.