“Screw you, asshole!” I scream in his face. Okay, so not quite his face, more in his chest area as I’m too mad to crane my neck to look at him. It feels good either way. No way am I going to let him talk to me like that.
“Screw me? Maybe that’s the problem, little sis. You need a good screwing to calm your ass down. Is that what you’re here for? To get a quick fuck? Because that’s all Sam will give you. He never fucks anything twice.”
I know he’s trying to shock me and make me back down. I was right. He still sees me as just a little girl. While I might still be a virgin, I wasn’t some sheltered innocent. I went to college. Hell, my roommate slept with most of her boyfriends in our dorm room as I slept in the next bed.
I’ve never been so mad at anyone in my life. But as he stands in front of me, I don’t know if I want to pound on his chest with my fist or push my body up against his and rub all over him like a cat in heat. I’ve got to get out of here.
I lick my lips, drawing attention to my mouth. “That’s exactly what I was looking for, but it looks like you messed that up for me. I’ll see you at home, Luke.”
As I push away from him I see Logan staring at both of us.
I walk past Logan, then turn to face both of them. “And don’t worry if you hear moaning coming from my room tonight. One way or another, I’ll be getting off.” With that I turn to go and find Sam to take me home. God, I hope I have batteries.
CHAPTER 2 *Logan*
“Looks like I missed you being an asshole once again.”
Luke looks at me with his signature glare. It’s always amazing to look at my twin and see parts of myself, yet see a total stranger.
“Where the fuck were you?” he spits out.
“On the phone handling the Lorenzo clearance for their new building. Then I got stopped by that Kayla bitch that keeps trying to eat your dick.”
“Never mind,” he growls as he tries to push past me.
I grab his arm and pull him in close. I love my brother and I know what’s caused this rift between us. It breaks my heart that neither of us will just say it. I can’t go on much longer acting like strangers. Luke has always been the strong one. He’s always been the one to bear the heavy burdens, and I’ve always been the one to balance us out. I usually find the good in any situation, but lately neither of us can find our place. It feels as though we’ve fallen out of sync and we won’t acknowledge what it is that’s done it.
“Pushing her away won’t fix this.”
It’s the closest I’ve come to vocalizing what’s happening between us. Being twins, we don’t need to talk to communicate, and when I look in Luke’s eyes I see everything he won’t say. He breaks eye contact and jerks his arm free.
I watch him stalk out the back door and don’t make a move to stop him. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kayla eyeing me up from the bar. Jesus, that skank doesn’t take a hint. I hate that she knows how my brother and I enjoy sharing women – correction: used to enjoy sharing women. Kayla must have heard about it from someone we shared and decided she wanted a night with the two of us. I know going back home right now is not a good decision, so I reluctantly head to the bar and order a beer. I sit down and pray Kayla doesn’t get any ideas about coming over. My dream dies within seconds.
“Hey Logan, how’s it going tonight?” she asks. It comes out breathy and with a slight moan, which she must think is sexy, but it just sounds like she can’t control her body functions. Kayla stands next to my barstool and pushes her body up against me. I can’t stand the feeling of her cold hands running along my arm and her bony hip pushing into my thigh. I lean back and try to maintain some physical distance. I’m irritated. Fun Logan has clearly left the building. I want nothing more than to just sit here in silence, but instead I’ve got to deal with Luke’s clinger.
“Kayla, stop touching me and back the fuck up. You pull that shit with Luke where you get up in his face and he ignores you. I don’t want you taking liberties with my personal space.”
She steps back but manages to keep what she thinks is a sultry expression on her face. “Oh Logan, don’t be…”
“We’ve both told you repeatedly we’re not interested,” I interrupt. “I’m not in the mood to explain it again. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with my beer.”
She starts to say something else, but I get up and walk to the other side of the bar. In the back of my mind I know I’m being rude but I can’t summon my give-a-fuck emotion. I’m pissed at my brother, worried about Sarah, and ripping myself to shreds for what I’m really feeling. I roll my eyes when I look up to see Kayla storming off in a bitch-fit. Great. I’ve pissed her off. Just what I needed tonight – a scorned woman with some extra crazy on top.
I stare down at my beer and think about everything that’s happened in the past couple of years to push Luke and I where we are. We both fell for her. In the cruelest twist of fate, my other half and I fell for the same woman. And the real kick in the nuts? She’s our stepsister.
Luke won’t say it out loud but I don’t need him to. We’ve both known for a long time how the other felt. After her sophomore year in college, we decided it was best if we didn’t visit at the same time. I knew how hard it was for me to watch her show affection to Luke, and conversely I could feel the anger rolling off of him when she would pay me even a little attention.
It never felt wrong to love Sarah. If anything, it felt right. The guilt I feel is because I love her and I know Luke feels the same way. We’ve shared women for years, and it’s always felt natural, like this is how we’re meant to be. We’ve talked about having a permanent menage relationship and dreamed that one day we would find the one and make a home with the three of us. Deep down, though, I think we both always hoped it would be with Sarah.
Our sweet little Sarah would be shocked to know what we do behind bedroom doors, and I can’t wrap my head around her wanting us in that way. I know that if she ever did feel the same about us, she would want to choose, and that would end Luke and me. We couldn’t, wouldn’t survive it. I would feel his heartbreak every time I was with her. As much as we love her, it couldn’t be for just one night. There’s love and family involved. If this went wrong it could break us, and the three of us is all that’s left. We can’t risk it.
I decide to sulk at the bar and down a few more beers. The only thing waiting on me at home is a brooding Luke and the image of Sarah in her room, masturbating. I stifle my groan and start thinking of football to keep my mind off my growing dick.
I don’t know how long I sit there, zoned out, before Sam slides next to me at the bar. He nudges my shoulder with his in greeting and orders a beer. He takes a drink and then gives me a thoughtful look.
“I dropped your sister off at home,” he says and takes another drink. I hear him take a deep breath. “Luke pulled up when I was leaving. He was just sitting in his car staring at the house.”
He raises an eyebrow at me, but I don’t know what he wants me to say. We’ve both known Sam for a long time. He would be good for Sarah. He’s the type of guy I would wish for her, if I wasn’t in love with her myself. I know why Luke hit him. If I had seen him kiss her I’d want to lay his ass out too.
Sam shakes his head and lets out a short laugh. “One day, Logan, the three of you really need to sit down and figure this shit out.” He stands with his beer and starts to leave. I realize at this point I haven’t said a damn word to him and I turn to speak, but he beats me to it. “And just a little advice, that day should be sooner than fucking later.” He rubs his jaw and walks away.