The hope that had sprung in the last little while had started as a slow trickle that she kept a very tight rein on. She’d feared getting ahead of herself.
But now it was all out there. It was impossible to misunderstand their intentions. They wanted her. Both of them. And God, she wanted them too.
Cade touched a finger to her cheek and tenderly traced the lines of her face, landing on the fullness of her lips, until it was all she could do not to swipe her tongue over the tip.
“A lot of what Merrick said is exactly how I feel. Maybe I fought it more than he did in the beginning because I couldn’t wrap my head around how we could possibly make it work. It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take the ultimate commitment from all three of us, and we’ll have to work three times as hard as a couple in a traditional relationship.
“But with that said, once I stopped fighting it and allowed myself to say…what if? It was freeing. I began to think of the possibilities. I thought of how happy that I know we can make you. If you’ll just give us that chance,” he ended softly.
“But will I make you happy?”
“You already make us happy,” Merrick said.
Cade leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I understand why you feel the way you do, honey. I get it. I really do. I know we didn’t meet under the best circumstances. I know you have a lot of fears and insecurities over not knowing what’s in your past, and I know you worry that you’re a burden to me and Merrick and that somehow we’ve got it all screwed up in our heads, that we’re suffering some kind of savior complex, and that’s why we’re so into you.”
She blinked, unable to even respond to that.
“I’m right, aren’t I?”
Slowly she nodded. “That’s about it in a nutshell.”
“Put it out of your mind,” Cade said, as blunt as Merrick had been just moments earlier. “It’s not remotely true. You’re here with us because we want you here. There are a number of agencies we could have turned you over to. Hell, we could have just called the police and washed our hands of you months ago. But we didn’t do any of that because we want you here with us, and we’ll do damn near anything to persuade you that it’s where you need to be.”
She smiled then and reached up to take his hand, squeezing for all she was worth. “I don’t know if it’s where I need to be, but it’s where I want to be.”
“Good enough for me,” Merrick said. “Now, I vote we stop rehashing this so we stop making ourselves crazy, and we go out and do something fun today. The weather is beautiful. It’s warm, and the sun is shining.”
“Oh, that sounds great,” she said in a wistful tone. “But what about your workout? Shouldn’t you be leaving?”
The sun wasn’t even up yet. It was routine for them all to rise early so Merrick could run and be at the gym by sun up. He put in several hours on the mat, and then he’d go into the office to help Cade. In the evenings, he ran again and worked on conditioning.
Merrick leaned forward to kiss her, his lips cold from the shake he was drinking.
“Tell you what. Let me get my morning workout over with, and then we’ll go do something together. Just the three of us.”
“The local park is beautiful. Has a great lake where ducks gather to be fed. I could pack us a picnic lunch, and we can hang out in the sun. Bring a jacket, though. There’s still a nip to the air,” Cade advised.
Spring was slowly struggling to make its presence known in Grand Junction. Autumn chill had come quickly in October, as she’d well known because it had been when she’d dragged herself from the Colorado River to collapse on the bank.
It was plenty cold here, and she knew enough about the new Elle to know she wasn’t used to the colder, drier climate in Western Colorado. Wherever she had come from, the temperatures were much warmer. The question was, how had she ended up here. And why?
She shook off the lingering worry and fear, determined to move forward, out of the shadows.
“That sounds great,” she said, injecting the proper amount of enthusiasm into her voice.
And it was perfect. She’d get to spend the day with Cade and Merrick. She’d become fiercely dependent on the comfort and support they offered. They were her security blanket. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she knew she wouldn’t be where she was right now emotionally if not for the two men who’d taken her in and helped put her back together.
“Here, eat your breakfast,” Cade said, handing her a plate with scrambled eggs, a blueberry muffin and bacon. “When we’re done eating, we’ll head down to take in Merrick’s workout and then we’ll come back so he can get showered and changed. I’ll work on getting us something packed for lunch.”
She relaxed, enjoying the simple routine they’d fallen into. Breakfast together in the mornings. Merrick’s workouts in the gym. The office during the week and then evenings together with Merrick and his conditioning team and workout partners.
No, she hadn’t ventured out much on her own. Yet. But she’d get there. She had every confidence that with Cade and Merrick’s support, she’d regain her confidence and her certainty of her place in the world.
In a perfect world, she’d be able to do all of that on her own. She wouldn’t need anyone to assert her independence. But everyone needed someone at some point, right?
She had no knowledge of the person she’d been before. The person she couldn’t remember. She’d like to think that she hadn’t always been this needy, insecure, clingy person she was now, and it was her hope that she could somehow find the old Elle and shed the hesitancy with which she approached everything now.
At other times, she acknowledged that she was being too hard on herself, and that given what she’d endured and God only knew what else she didn’t know about, it was no surprise she wasn’t ready to light the world on fire and seize the day.
“Time,” she whispered. “I just need time.”
“What’s that, baby?” Merrick asked.
She blinked and looked up at him and then smiled at the concern brimming in his dark eyes. “Nothing. Nothing at all. Just something I needed to remind myself of.”
Cade settled down on her other side, his plate piled high with food.
“Whatever it is you were worrying yourself over, let it go,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I’m trying,” she returned softly. “I really am.”
“Good,” Merrick said in his gruff voice. “Let’s just enjoy the day, and tomorrow will take care of itself.”
C H A P T E R E I G H T E E N
THE BREEZE BLOWING OFF THE small lake had just enough nip to make Elle shiver, but she burrowed into the warm, fleece-lined jacket and shoved her hands into the pockets as they searched for just the right spot to set up.
It was an absolutely spectacular day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and deep blue spread out for as far as the eye could see. The trees had begun budding out, and green was popping through the brown of winter.
The first buds of flowers had slowly begun to unfurl, and the air was sweetly scented with the fragrance from a multitude of flowering plants and bushes.
Merrick had cut his training session short that morning, and she only felt a little guilty that she was taking him away from his regimen.
Things had been so fast and furious since his win in Las Vegas. The call had come in and the contracts signed for the title bout scheduled for late spring in Los Angeles.
His training had intensified, but along with adding sparring partners and beefing up his conditioning, promotion had taken up a huge chunk of his time.
He traveled more than he had previously, and he granted interviews and had media coverage of his training camp. And through it all, he and Cade had tried their best to keep Elle out of the public eye.