“It’s really strange, Judge. It starts at precisely midnight, under clear skies or under clouds. At the stroke of midnight the dogs seem to go nuts. A house pet can be sound asleep until he hears a distant bark, then he or she goes crazy. It spreads quickly throughout the neighborhood and all the lights come on. Everybody’s awake.”
“You have a witness?” Judge Yeck asked, gazing at the packed courtroom.
“I have at least twenty.”
“Well, we don’t need twenty. I think I already get the message. Pick your best two and let’s hear them.”
“Okay. The City calls Ms. Emma Dofield.”
Ms. Dofield stood and hustled to the front. She was a pleasant-looking lady of about fifty. She stopped in front of the bench, raised her right hand and swore to tell the truth, then took a seat in a folding chair.
Brittany simply said, “Now, Ms. Dofield, please tell us your story.”
The witness couldn’t wait. “Well, you’ve already heard what we’re going through. It’s terrible. We’re exhausted. The dogs are all acting weird, and not just at night. We had to take Leo to the dog shrink.”
Judge Yeck leaned in and said, “Excuse me, who’s Leo?”
“Our dog. He’s a Lagotto.”
“A what?”
“A Lagotto. An Italian water dog.”
“Of course. And he went to the shrink?”
“Yes, sir. He’s a bit neurotic to begin with, but a very sweet little guy. He’s been so upset with all this that we had to put him on antidepressants.”
“Anyway.”
“Anyway, two nights ago I was awake at midnight, sort of waiting for the fireworks, and sure enough things erupted on time. Leo, who’s a bit groggy these days but nonetheless still alert, ran to the window in the breakfast nook and started barking at the patio. I eased to a window in the den, and in the shadows I saw a rabbit. A big rabbit. He jumped onto our deck, which is made of wood, and started thumping his back foot real loud. He did this little dance in a circle, thumping like crazy, rattling the boards, and driving Leo even crazier. There were no lights on our patio so I turned on the floodlight, but the rabbit had vanished. I turned it off, waited and waited, and sure enough he came back. I could make out his silhouette in the shadows. He started thumping again, real loud, but when I reached for the light, he vanished again. It was like he has a sixth sense and knows when the lights are about to come on.”
Brittany asked, “So, can you describe this rabbit?”
“Well, sort of. He’s big, bigger than any rabbit I’ve ever seen, and he has these really floppy ears.”
Brittany turned to Theo and said, “Your witness.”
Theo was on his feet, holding his yellow legal pad like all lawyers. He smiled politely at the witness and said, “Now, Ms. Dofield, you’re certain this rabbit is a male.”
“Uh, well, uh, to be honest, I don’t really know.”
“But you have repeatedly referred to the rabbit as ‘he’ and ‘him.’ Correct?”
“Sure, but I guess that’s just a habit.”
“Fair enough. You don’t know the gender. Do you know its color?”
“Beg your pardon.”
“Ms. Dofield, you said it’s very dark on your patio and there’s no light. You saw a silhouette in the shadows. Is the rabbit white, gray, brown, black, yellow, spotted? Please describe this rabbit.”
“Well, I would say dark.”
“Dark gray, dark brown, black?”
“I really don’t know for sure.”
“Okay. According to the Atlas Register of Animals, there are about ninety different breeds of rabbit. What kind of rabbit are we talking about here?”
“Oh, I have no idea.”
“No further questions, Your Honor.”
“You may return to your seat,” Judge Yeck said with a smile. He wanted to wink at Theo but that would not have been professional. “Call your second witness,” he said.
Brittany stood. “The City calls the Honorable Frank Pendergrast.”
Theo almost fainted. He felt as though he’d been in Youth Court every day for the past month lobbying Judge Pendergrast on behalf of Woody and Tony. Now he was supposed to cross-examine him?
And how fair was a trial when one of the witnesses was a well-respected judge? Theo wanted to object to his testimony but could think of no good reason. Plus, he knew Judge Yeck was going to allow his colleague to testify anyway.
After he took his oath and had a seat, Brittany wasted no time. “Judge Pendergrast, you are one of three neighbors who signed the complaint. Would you explain why?”
“Sure. Just like Ms. Dofield said, this has been going on for about two weeks. My wife and I have a bloodhound named Barney who sleeps downstairs and he’s been very upset. You ever heard a bloodhound howl indoors at midnight?”
“No, sir, don’t think so.”
“Well, it’s something to remember. Last Sunday night I hurried downstairs and I was sitting with Barney, trying to settle him down. I could hear dogs barking for miles around it seemed. I saw something on the patio that I first thought was a big rat. We’ve had a problem with them. I reached for a light, turned it on, and the thing vanished, just like that. No sign at all. I turned the light off, waited, and then I heard this thumping sound on the patio. Barney went nuts again. I eased to the window and caught a glimpse of the varmint. It wasn’t a rat, it was a rabbit, a huge rabbit with brown fur and big hind legs. He was thumping away, turning in a circle like some kind of war dance. I reached for the light again, flipped the switch, but he was gone.”
“Then what happened?”
“I turned the light off and waited, but he had moved on. Barney was agitated for the rest of the night and I could hear dogs barking throughout the neighborhood.”
“What did you do then?”
“Well, as you might guess, these escapades have caused quite a stir in our neighborhood. Fred Koger lives four doors down and he knows the Kerrs, who live about three blocks away. He had seen their rabbit, this Rufus character, and he knew that the Kerrs allowed him to run free at night. They supposedly have a pet door and don’t believe in caging their animals. We put our heads together and decided to notify Animal Control. Here we are.”
Brittany said, “Your Honor, at this time I’d like to bring in the defendant.”
Judge Yeck said, “Sure, bring him in.”
An Animal Control officer opened a door, disappeared, then came back with a large cage which he set on a table under the bench. Everyone stretched their necks to get a look at the criminal. Rufus chewed on some kale leaves, seemingly unconcerned.
Brittany pointed at him and asked, “Now, Judge Pendergrast, is this the rabbit you saw on your patio two nights ago?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“Thank you. I tender the witness,” Brittany said and took her seat.
Theo rose slowly, horrified that he was expected to cross-examine a judge he had great respect for. Plus, he was a nervous wreck because the courtroom was now packed. Even more, he was just a thirteen-year-old kid fighting a bunch of adults.
He smiled at the witness, and Judge Pendergrast smiled back because it was, after all, sort of cute to be facing a kid lawyer.
Theo swallowed hard and plowed ahead. “Judge Pendergrast, according to your testimony, your patio is dark at night, correct?”
“That’s right.”
“And in order to have lights you have to flip a switch from the inside?”
“Yes.”
“So it was around midnight, it was dark, and you saw something on your patio?”
“That’s what I said, Theo.”
“Would you please look at Rufus? Would you agree that his fur is light brown with a few white spots, and that he is quite large for a rabbit?”
“I suppose so.”