Ransom was eighteen. Young. Virile. One orgasm did not keep him sated for long. I had barely laid next to him, smiling as he rolled against me, loving how tightly he held onto me, how his cheek on my stomach felt warm, his slowing breaths fanning against my hip. It was just a moment, a handful of minutes, then Ransom’s breath evened out and he kissed my bare skin.
“Aly…Aly…” he said rolling over me. He took my waist between his large hands, holding me underneath him as my name left his lips like a prayer against my skin.
I could touch him now, my hands over his back, my fingers against his forehead, pulling his face closer. “Don’t stop,” I said, when he moved his hand under my thighs to settle between my legs. “Keep going, please.”
I wondered what was written on my face, if that thrill of anticipation, of hope was as plain to him as the craving that surely was in mine. Whatever he saw, Ransom hesitated and for a second I was scared he’d back away.
“Ransom…” I started, keeping my fingers against his face. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to keep from touching him.
“You sure about this? You want all of me?”
“Oh, sugar, every inch you’ve got.”
The quick smile left Ransom’s face, though he still nodded, like he needed me to know he understood. I held my breath, not sure I’d remember to exhale as he lifted his hand and let one fingertip smooth over my bottom lip. “You, Aly…shit, you could tempt a saint just with a blink of those big eyes.”
A small sigh and my breathing settled. “No,” I said, moving a half smile onto my mouth. “Saints don’t like sinners and I’ve got a full tally of sins.” It was true. I couldn’t count the times I’d wished that Emily had never existed just to keep that constant frown from Ransom’s face. I didn’t think there were prayers loud enough to absolve me.
“You? Never.” Ransom shook his head, moving closer to graze a slow, wet kiss on my mouth. “No one this sweet, with a heart this big could be a sinner.” I licked my lips, loving how Ransom watched the movement. “Besides,” he said, his eyes moving up, “saints love sinners the most. They’re a hell of a lot more fun to try to save.”
Ransom was everywhere just then, filling up all the spots left gaping, those worn, aching vacancies in my heart that loneliness and neglect had cut into me. No, I couldn’t be what he’d lost. And he couldn’t be the person to make me whole, but right then, on my Target sheets in that tiny loft apartment, we would take what we needed from each other; the first step in the long trek across the trench of loss and grief.
“I don’t care about the saints, Ransom.” My legs felt heavy when I moved them so that I spread open to him, loving how his eyebrows dipped together at the brush of skin on skin. “And I’ll never ask for forgiveness for wanting you.”
He moved his forehead against mine and his arms shook as he hovered above me. When he spoke, his gaze was serious, focused. “Please don’t ask me for things I can’t give you.” There was a little regret, a hint of fear in his tone.
“I won’t,” I said, wishing my fingertips would clear away those worried lines in his forehead.
“Please don’t think…” Ransom took a breath, grabbing my chin before he brushed his lips over mine, “If I could, if I was able, God, Aly, I’d give you everything.”
A single look from Ransom could make my stomach tighten and my chest constrict. Those words from him, the look on his face telling me he meant them, made me fall deeper, had me lost further in what I felt for him. But he didn’t need me saying that. He asked for one moment when I wanted all of them. I’d take it.
“Today, I just want this.”
His arms did not stop shaking and the worry, the quick breath from his mouth only grew heavier as he watched me. “I haven’t done this in a while and then only with…”
I put one finger to his lips, and shushed him in a low exhale, stopping him from mentioning her name. “Just so you know, since I can barely manage to keep myself fed, I’m on the pill. No chance of an unintentional family. And there’s only ever been one other person, so I’m clean. You don’t have to be covered. And you don’t have to be careful.”
That laugh was quick, a little anxious, but he still managed a smile. “Aly, I have to be so careful with you.”
He didn’t, but how would Ransom know? I was made of solid stuff, harder mettle than he’d ever understand. But I didn’t want him worried that touching me, loving me once would somehow push me away.
This time when I touched him, Ransom didn’t flinch. This time, he seemed to enjoy the sensation.
“I’m not going to break,” I said, wishing I didn’t mean it so much.
“I might.”
If he did, I’d put him back together.
Ransom didn’t offer another excuse or lay down anymore caveats. With one look back at me, he took my leg, his hand under my knee and he held his breath, like he was jumping into a shark tank with no illusions of coming back up for air. He took his dick in his other hand and found his way to my warm entry. I felt him, poised there, ready. For a split second, time stopped. Then, with a groan, he pushed into me, and with just the twist of his hips, my entire world changed.
“Oh…”
It was the only coherent word I could utter.
He moved like water over glass, rolling into me over and over, filling me, melding to me as if my body, my pussy was exactly where he belonged.
Like he owned it.
I was greedy for everything Ransom gave me—the loud, feral grunts slipping into my mouth as he took it, the penetrating pinch of his fingers digging into my hips, I wanted it all. And always, always, his dick sliding so deeply into me, then pulling out only to push into me yet again, and again as I raised up to meet his thrusts.
“Fuck,” he said, as our grinding together became more frantic, and he moved his hips faster, as that grip on my hips pinched tighter and then Ransom pushed my leg up with his knee, leaning on one palm while he fisted my hair. “Aly, fuck you’re so…you’re so… you’re so damn everything…”
I hadn’t spun this hard, felt this full ever in my life. It was Ransom, that big, looming body, the lull of his loud moans, all the sensation I’d thought would be delicious was wholly different, far more satisfying than I’d ever imagined.
He moved his hand from my hair, pushing on the inside of my thigh to open me wider and my hands came up to his chest, scratching, gripping as I felt him deep inside, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I was no longer thrusting against him, all I could do was open fully to him, let him take me, possess me, utterly, completely.
“More,” I managed never wanting this to end, thinking I’d die if it did and yet feeling the building release and then Ransom moved his arm under my waist and twisted us around so that he sat up with me on top of him. “Deep, so deep.”
And it was, so deep I felt him in my womb, and his panting breath tickled against my cheek as he took my mouth again. It wasn’t a kiss, it was an attack, brutal but so damn satisfying I thought I couldn’t take it another second. I tasted him everywhere, the sweat from his skin, that airy, sweet flavor of his breath on my mouth made me insatiable and I knew, just then, I’d never be fuller.
“Arch, baby,” he said, pushing at the small of my back, urging me on, to let his dick push up and into me. Ransom moved my back and hips, guiding and his mouth to cover one nipple, sucking harder and harder the faster I moved on top of him and with four long, even strokes, with his dick hitting perfectly, deep inside, I came in a white hot explosion that felt as if I didn’t exist, as if all I was, was what his cock and his hands and his mouth had made me, and it went beyond something as trivial as bliss.