“Caleb?”
I stop, turn. Leah is standing next to my brother’s car, just a few spaces back. I was walking Olivia to her car before I drove back to the hospital. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be seeing her for a while, and I wanted to thank her for taking care of me. Olivia keeps walking for a few feet and then turns around to see why I’m lagging. The wind blows, flattening her dress against her and causing her hair to whip around her face. We are all spaced evenly apart. Leah and I are in the middle, with Olivia and Seth flanking us.
I feel it coming. I swear to God, confrontation has a taste. I hesitate before answering.
“What is it, Leah?”
Her red hair is up. I always thought that when she wore her hair up, she looked more innocent. I glance at my brother, who is looking at her with just as much curiosity as I am. His thumb is poised over the unlock button on his car keys, his arm extended outward. If we were all freeze framed, we’d look like a scene from a Quentin Tarantino movie. She opens her mouth, and I know it’s not going to be good.
“I don’t want you coming to the hospital. You’re a shitty, irresponsible father. And don’t think Estella will be making any more trips to see you.” She punctuates her sentence with, “I’m taking you to court for full custody.”
My retort is hot on the tip of my tongue, when I feel a slight breeze to my right. I see a flash of black and Olivia moves past me. I watch as she approaches Leah. She moves like an angry river, flowing across the black tar of the parking lot. I look on in frozen astonishment as the angry river lifts her hand and slaps Leah across the face. Leah’s head snaps to the side from the force and when it straightens, I can see a red hand print.
“Fuuuuuck.” I lunge toward them, the same time as Seth. For a moment, my brother and I are united in an effort to stop Leah’s retaliation. Leah is screaming in anger, writhing to get out of Seth’s grip. That’s when I notice that Olivia is calm and still. My hands are on her shoulders so I lean down to speak in her ear.
“What the hell are you doing, Duchess?”
“Let me go,” she says. “I’m not going to do anything.” She’s still staring toward Leah and all I can see of her is the back of her head.
I let her go and she reaches across the space and slaps Leah again. Seth curses loudly. Luckily the parking lot is empty except for us.
“I’m going to sue you, you stupid bitch,” Leah screams.
Seth lets her go and she lunges for Olivia. Before she can get to her, I push Olivia behind my back and block Leah’s path.
“No,” I say. “You don’t touch her.”
Seth starts laughing. Leah spins on him. “You saw that, right? You saw her hit me?”
“Doesn’t matter,” I say. “It’s our word against yours. And I didn’t see anything.”
Leah pulls out her phone and takes a picture of the red mark on her face. I shake my head. Was I really married to this woman? I’m distracted enough for Olivia to get past me and snatch Leah’s phone out of her hand. She throws it on the ground and stomps on it with her heel, cracking the screen. Once … twice … three times — I grab her.
“You really have a death wish today, Olivia,” I say between my teeth.
Leah’s mouth is open. “I’m going to destroy you,” she says.
Olivia shrugs. I can’t believe she’s being so calm about this. “You already did. There is nothing more you could do to me. But, I swear to God, if you fuck with Caleb, I’m going to put you in prison for one of your many illegal activities. Then you won’t see your daughter.”
Leah closes her mouth. I open mine. I’m not sure who is more shocked by this fierce defense of me.
“I hate you,” Leah spits. “You’re still the same worthless piece of white trash you always were.”
“I don’t even hate you,” Olivia says. “You’re so pathetic, I can’t. But, don’t think for a minute that I won’t revive your indiscretions.”
“What are you talking about?” Leah’s eyes are shifty. I wonder what Olivia has on her. It must be pretty good if she thought she could get away with two good slaps.
“Christopher,” Olivia says quietly. Leah’s face drains of color. “You’re wondering how I know about that, yes?”
Leah doesn’t say anything, just continues to stare.
“It won’t get you locked up for pharmaceutical fraud, but boy would this be better…”
Seth looks at me and I shrug. The only Christopher I know is a thirty-year-old transgender who works — worked — for Steve.
“What do you want?” Leah says to Olivia.
Olivia swipes the dark hair out of her face and points a finger at me. Actually, she jabs a finger at me.
“You don’t mess with his custody. You mess with his custody; I mess with yours. Understand?”
Leah doesn’t nod, but she doesn’t fight it either.
“You’re a criminal,” Olivia says. “And you’re actually looking kind of chubby.”
With that last bit, she turns on her heels and marches the rest of the way to her car. I don’t know whether to stay and watch Leah’s mortified face, or chase after her. Leah is looking a little chubby.
Seth nods to me, then tugs at my ex-wife’s arm, pulling her toward their car. I watch them go. I watch Olivia go. I stand for thirty minutes after they’ve gone and watch the empty parking lot.
Who the fuck is Christopher?
“Who the fuck is Christopher, Duchess?”
I hear music on the other end of the line. She must turn off the radio because a second later it’s gone.
“You really want to know this?”
“You just made Leah’s face turn as red as her hair. Yeah, I want to know this.”
“All right,” she says. “Hold on, I’m in the drive-thru at Starbucks.”
I wait while she orders. When her voice comes back on the line it sounds professional, like she’s briefing a client.
“Leah was having sex with her housekeeper’s son.”
“Okay,” I said.
“He was seventeen at the time.”
I let go of the steering wheel to run ten fingers through my hair.
“How do you know?”
We’re heading in two different directions down the 95, but I can feel her smirking. See it.
“Her housekeeper came to see me. Actually, not me — Bernie. Bernie ran a couple billboards last year in Miami, urging sexual harassment victims to come see her. You know, one of those god-awful advertisements where the lawyer is looking all serious and there is a gavel in the far right corner to symbolize your coming justice?”
I know exactly the type.
“Anyway, Christopher’s mother — Shoshi — happened to see it and scheduled an appointment at the office. When she filled out her client information, I noticed that she listed your address as her own. So, I pulled her in before Bernie could get to her. She wanted to talk to someone about her teenage son. She’d sometimes take him with her to work and pay him to do some of the harder things. Apparently Leah was so impressed with his work ethic, she asked Shoshi to bring him on weekends and she paid him to do stuff around the house. After a few months of that, Shoshi found condoms in his wallet and a pair of panties that she said she’d seen a hundred times since she folded them.”
I groan. Olivia hears it and laughs into the phone. “What? Did you think she was normal after that little Who’s my baby daddy? stunt she pulled on you?”
“Okay, so why was this Shoshi character coming to you about sexual harassment? Why not call the police and get Leah jailed for statutory rape?”
“This is where it gets complicated, my friend. Shoshi said her son was denying the whole thing. He refused to get Leah in trouble for sleeping with a minor since he was over eighteen by the time she came to me, but his mother did get him to agree to nail her for sexual harassment.”
“What did you do, Olivia?”