Grey: Boxing up all the table decorations. Taking everything back to the sorority house for storage. Probably grab dinner and a movie with a few of my sisters. Saturday night, so they’ll want to go out.
Caclass="underline" Stay away from the ass grabbers.
Grey: There’s only one guy I want touching my backside, but he’s got plans tonight. I’ll do my best to stay away from the rest of them
Caclass="underline" You should probably wear a plastic garbage bag over your outfit. And a big hat. Ugly yourself up a bit.
Grey: LOL. Now who sounds jealous?
Caclass="underline" Me, dammit. I am.
Grey: Baby, haven’t you figured it out yet? I love you. You have nothing to be jealous of…
Grey: You downtown yet?
Caclass="underline" Not yet. Sitting here on the couch playing Xbox. Aaron and Tom are both in the bathroom bathing in the same cheap cologne.
Grey: Speaking of cologne, have I mentioned lately how good you smell?
Caclass="underline" No. Tell me again.
Grey: Amazing. You smell amazing. Like a clean, woodsy, sexy boyfriend. Mmm. Seriously yummy boyfriend.
Caclass="underline" I can’t fucking believe I have a girlfriend.
Grey: It has its benefits.
Grey: This bar is packed. Not even fun.
Caclass="underline" What are you wearing?
Grey: A plastic garbage bag and a large floppy hat. I look really ugly. You?
Caclass="underline" Sunglasses, a baseball hat, and an old winter coat.
Grey: Perfect.
Caclass="underline" Remind me again why I’m out with these dipshits and not with you? Why are you there and not here? With me?
Grey: Because you’re a dumb boy.
Caclass="underline" Sounds about right.
Grey: Let’s play a game?
Caclass="underline" Fine. Beats watching these putzes make asses of themselves. I’m pulling up a barstool. Pick your poison.
Grey: 20 Questions. You start.
Caclass="underline" Hmmm. Um. Okay. Favorite Color
Grey: That’s your question? My favorite color is yellow. Yours? Also, next question: boxers or briefs?
Caclass="underline" My favorite color is—duh—grey. I prefer boxer briefs. Next question: Favorite spot to be kissed.
Grey: Thong. Favorite spot to be kissed: on the neck. Next question: Last thing you licked.
Caclass="underline" What the fuck, Grey!
Grey: LOL. Answer the question.
Caclass="underline" Oh my God, woman, you’re killing me. Fine. My favorite spot to be kissed besides my *pointing down there* would be my chest. Last thing I licked? Beer foam.
Caclass="underline" Question 5. Um. Favorite spot for a first date?
Grey: Was that a hint? Cause if it was…
Grey: Wait. I have to play catch-up here. Last thing I licked: cupcake earlier today at the sorority house. Delicious. But not as delicious as you. Favorite spot for a first date? Out on the lake. Question: Last thing you WISH you’d licked.
Caclass="underline" Okay, that’s not fighting fair. You wanna play dirty, little girl? Fine. Last thing I wish I licked? You. All over. Tits, ass, everywhere.
Grey: Are you trying to shock me? Because it won’t work. You’ll have to do better than that.
Grey: Crap. Some guy just spilled beer all over my shoes. Running to wipe them off. BRB.
Caclass="underline" Seriously? NOW? Dammit.
Caclass="underline" …
Caclass="underline" ??? UGH!!
Grey: Okay, I’m back. Sorry, I know that was a total buzzkill. Last think I wish I’d licked? Your tattoo looks like I want my tongue on it. Next question is yours, slacker.
Caclass="underline" Alright. Favorite body part on the opposite sex (and I’m going to ignore the tongue on my tattoo comment because if I don’t, I’ll get hard.)
Grey: Question amended. Favorite body part on YOU. Your tight ass, specifically in those gray pants you wore to bed last night. I mean. Orgasmic. Seriously. Your abs are insane.
Caclass="underline" STOP. Just stop. You’re making me hard.
Grey: Yeah, well. I guess SOMEONE should have invited me to join him tonight and we could have taken care of that problem. Let’s call your hard-on a punishment for being too wussy to ask me out.
Caclass="underline" That’s hitting below the belt.
Grey: Below the belt. Mmm mmm… yum.
Caclass="underline" Knock that shit off. I’m in public. One of my teammates has been trying to steal my phone for the last ten minutes. Says I’m looking down at it like a horny bastard.
Grey: Are you?
Caclass="underline" Yes.
Caclass="underline" We never did finish that game of 20 Questions. Are you still up?
Grey: Yeah, we got home about 30 minutes ago.
Caclass="underline" Sober?
Grey: Yes. You?
Caclass="underline" Yup. FaceTime?
3 Weeks Later
Tabitha Thompson